Home: Toilet: Isolation
Pee Ramp   (+1)  [vote for, against]
For Silent Relief

Sometimes you just want to go quietly.

An attachment which clips to the inside of the toilet bowl that provides a target for stream to land on and slide noiselessly into the water. Angle would minimize splattering.

Necessary when the water line is too high to allow using the bowl itself.
-- blahginger, Apr 03 2003

WHIZZY http://whizzy4you.com/
Here's a portable pee device for women. Wouldn't help with the noise factor though - in fact it would only make it worse! [funkychunky, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

well......men can always kneel to pee..... http://www.websweep.../archive/103102.htm
[OpheliaFrump, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Something like this? http://www.webdesk....tornado-twister.jpg
[bungston, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Oooh! Good idea! I really hate when people hear me pee....and NO - I'm not being sarcastic about that! (no, I'm not being sarcastic about being sarcastic either!)

All public bathrooms should have these!
-- funkychunky, Apr 03 2003

<Obligatory You-could-always-squat post.>
-- DrCurry, Apr 03 2003

Hey - weird [funkymonkeygirl] - our names are both FUNKY and we both hate using capital letters...and we don't like Pee noises! You must be my long lost twin! :) I try to use capital letters here so I am not torn to pieces by the anal retentives.
-- funkychunky, Apr 03 2003

Is this something that you would carry with you and use when needed, or is it permanently installed? How would you keep it clean?
-- AO, Apr 03 2003

This stays in the toliet. Although if you have a big problem with being heard I guess you could clean it and take it with you.

My original intention was for use in bathrooms that are located near socializing areas in your home. Bathrooms right off of an eating area or family room. No one wants to hear or be heard in that situation.

For public bathrooms I would suggest the exact opposite of this idea...a splash enhancer. So that there is no mistake about what is going on in there.
-- blahginger, Apr 03 2003

I'd rather have a poop chute to keep my cheeks free of cold splash-back.
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 03 2003

[FJ] Perhaps a small heating element to warm your toilet bowl water?
-- hippo, Apr 04 2003

There you go. Now I'll have to stock up on reading material.
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 04 2003

An uncle of mine has something in his woodshop - it's called a boot protector or something. Two wooden covers for boots connected to a ramp where the dong has a hangover, if you will. Quite funny.
-- thumbwax, Apr 04 2003

TomBomb: only when I take my medication.
-- DrCurry, Apr 04 2003

Instead of a ramp, I envision a telescoping device which collapses into a small cylinder the size of a roll of quarters. On entering the potty, the user extends his device. The above mentioned device. By peeing into the tube, the other end can be placed very close to the porcelain, minimizing noise as well as splatter.

The device is then collapsed and rinsed at the sink. It is teflon lined so as not to retain fluids of any sort, and will be dry on replacing in the pocket. It could be used as a pointer in a pinch. It is more sanitary than some nasty public ramp or protruberant hump.

If I receive a roaring, raging celebration of this idea, I could be persuaded to post it separately, to receive its own share of praise.
-- bungston, Apr 04 2003

From an old Maude episode:
Water on water makes sound for all to hear, but water on porcelain brings no sound to the ear.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 19 2004

use a urinal....
-- morbiddesire, Feb 19 2004

Please don't.
-- Detly, Feb 19 2004

Bungston, you want us girls to pee into a straw, huh? Won't work, man. We've got the horsepower but not the steering.
-- squeak, Feb 19 2004

random, halfbakery