Vehicle: Airplane: Pilot
Pilot Appraisal Scheme   (+3, -1)  [vote for, against]
give em a rating...

Pilot appraisal schemes must be very difficult to run.

"so, Dave, how many planes have you crashed this half year ...."

"none that I'm aware of Steve ...."

"excellent, I'll put you down as Outstanding then ..."

Of course, all pilots are assessed in a simulator but still doesn't appraise the pilot fully. Only their passengers can do this.

A simple appraisal form is installed on the inflight entertainment system. Score your pilot from one to ten. Maybe score separately for inflight announcements, for take off, for flight and importantly for landing.

This mornings pilot, Mike, scored a 7 from me.
-- jonthegeologist, Aug 26 2003

almost baked Landing_20Vote_20System
no idea why original didn't include more generic appraisal. [neilp, Dec 20 2004]

Well after catching some domestic flights in Australia recently I can say that the Qantas pilots land more smoothly than their Virgin counterparts.

Shouldn't be surprising really.
-- madradish, Aug 26 2003

Do flight attendants also earn the privilege to vote passengers off the plane?
-- Don Quixote, Aug 26 2003

[don] triffic idea.
-- jonthegeologist, Aug 26 2003

re "how many planes have you crashed?"

We all know that commercial air travel is relatively safe. I recently saw the numbers, and if you're interested, the average seems to be about 0.5 fatal crashes per one million flights (that's flights, not miles or passenger miles). Since I fly on Delta quite a bit, I was encouraged to see that Delta's record is the lowest among major U.S. carriers, below 0.2 fatal crashes per million flights. Most major commercial aircraft hover around the 0.5 measure, but I seem to recall there was a Saab model with a very low crash incidence, despite many millions of flights. The Concorde's rate was 12.5 per million flights, but that number's unreliable because the plane's total number of flights is only around 80,000.
-- beauxeault, Aug 28 2003

True story (allegedly):
Tower: "Mission 123, do you have problems?"
Pilot: "I think I have lost my compass."
Tower: "Judging by the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!"
-- angel, Aug 28 2003

As I understand it, the roughness of a landing is usually related to wind conditions, runway length, approach path, or other factors not related to the skill of the pilot.
-- AO, Aug 28 2003

Boeing recommends that pilots set down firmly rather than try to hold the plane off for that perfect greaser. Holding the plane off at very low rates of sink--needed for those glass-smooth landings--imperils the the operation because it uses a lot of runway.
-- bristolz, Aug 28 2003

It's not so much the amount of runway used as the goal of exiting the runway quickly -- both to clear the way for subsequent arrivals & departures and to get the plane to the gate as quickly as possible.
-- Don Quixote, Aug 28 2003

Same thing, really. Landing long is a bad idea.
-- bristolz, Aug 28 2003

-- Don Quixote, Aug 28 2003

On the Lufthansa flights I've been on, the Germans all burst into applause when the plane finally lands. I don't know whether this is simple relief (resisting the temptation to make a misplaced WWII reference) or a measure of appreciation for the skill shown.

Accordingly, install a clapometer into the main body of the aeroplane and the pilot's average is fed into his/her staff appraisal.
-- PeterSilly, Aug 29 2003

and a "scream-o-meter" for the not so good flights?
-- jonthegeologist, Aug 29 2003

I just wish the pilots would verbalize *some* emotion when they're about to crash. If you listen to bla-, er, orange box recordings, you'd never know:
"Flight tower, we're approaching ground at terminal velocity, over."
'What is your speed, over?'
"Terminal, over"
"Approaching groun-"
I mean, come on - a simple "WE'RE FUCKED" once in a while would break up the monotony.
-- thumbwax, Aug 29 2003

In Russia and far-flung parts of the ex-Soviet Block I believe it is common courtesy to let the pilot and crew off the plane first as a sign of repect. Often they are applauded as well.

Why not give the pilot a croissant instead?
-- boffin, Aug 29 2003

thumb, I've forgotten the details, but the I believe I read that there was some emotion in the cockpit recordings in the Concorde crash.
-- beauxeault, Aug 29 2003

[bris] For once, we are in agreement.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 29 2003

I read that accident investigators usually hear cursing when something has gone terribly wrong and there is nothing the pilot can do. When something can be done the crew are concentrating on correcting the problem so much that they don't waste time with bad language.
-- hangingchad, Dec 21 2004

//Boeing recommends that pilots set down firmly rather than try to hold the plane off for that perfect greaser.//

Then Boeing needs to design some better freaking shocks. I've landed in 4 different brands, and about 25 different models of planes, and the Boeing heavies are the least courteous to passengers I've ever been on. I'd rather hit the ground in a Tupolev almost any day.

Anyway, since rating things is what we do HERE, it seems perfectly reasonable that we'd carry that over to everything else.
-- shapu, Dec 21 2004

random, halfbakery