Vehicle: Car: Speed
Plastic Jesus Shaped Radar/Laser Detector   (+7)  [vote for, against]
Install a radar/laser detector or jammer in popular dashboard icons.

In many places it is illegal to operate a radar/laser detection device. Obviously having one in plain view on your dashboard is an indication that you have one, and could result in a ticket. Even in places where it is legal to operate one of these devices, it could still result in unwanted attention from local traffic enforcement.

With the Plastic Jesus Shaped Radar Detector, your Lord and Savior™ can watch over you literally and figuratively.

Also available in Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Odin, Star of David and Zeus models.
(Coming soon: Totem and Bobble-head Chihuahua.)


For those who just want signal jammers, check out our Adversaries™ Line. Including Shiva The Destroyer, Loki and, of course, Satan.
-- ato_de, Apr 25 2003

Plastic Jesus http://www.flyingwi...3s/PlasticJesus.mp3
Apropos song [csea, Nov 07 2014]

Radar detectors can be detected by a radar detector detector, and most officers of the peace in areas where detectors are illegal are so equipped. What it looks like does not matter. If it's on, it can be detected. Best way to hide it is to turn it off.

It should be noted there is at least one company that manufactures a radar detector detector detector. With one, you can tell if the cops can tell if you have your detector on.
-- waugsqueke, Apr 25 2003


How about a radar detector elf-destruct mechanism so you can destroy the evidence before the officer gets to you?
-- krelnik, Apr 25 2003


[krelnik], The problem I see with radar detector elf destruction devices, is that they only destroy radar detecting elves. The beauty of the Plastic Jesus Shaped Radar Detector is that even if the traffic enforcement types have detected your radar detector, they will not suspect your religious icon to house it and may be persuaded to believe thier own radar detector detector was misdetecting your radar or posession thereof.

[TomBomb], what is your fascination with hiding things in a grill?
-- ato_de, Apr 25 2003


Jesus has a built-in radar detector detector detector detector detector, sinner.
-- thumbwax, Apr 26 2003


and so on... to the power of the Lord.
-- po, Apr 26 2003


House of Lords, even.
-- thumbwax, Apr 26 2003


Reminds me of a verse in a song called 'La-la Land' by All-Star United that bashes 'cheapened Christianity:'

"Jesus decal does quite a trick;
Right above my dashboard I stick it--
A good luck charm, it keeps me from harm,
and saves me from speeding tickets..."
-- RayfordSteele, Apr 26 2003


// they will not suspect your religious icon //

Presumably if you are aware of the existence of Jesus radar detectors (which you must be, if you own one), the authorities would also be aware of them.
-- waugsqueke, Apr 26 2003


Obligatory "Donut radar detector" post. (better, Thumb?)
-- Cedar Park, Apr 26 2003


Would the detector get a greater range in a Star of David configuration, bent into a parabolic shape?
-- friendlyfire, Apr 26 2003


Only after Passover.
-- Cedar Park, Apr 27 2003


//Star of David//
I knew I was leaving someone out.

corrected.
-- ato_de, Apr 27 2003


I dunno, [UB]...just to be safe, I'd much rather have Jesus vouch for me.
-- Overpanic, Nov 25 2003


Why not just hide the detector behind a plastic grill at the front of your car, in front of the radiator? Have it set up so it gives you a warning through the existing car stereo system.
-- satan_in_a_suit, Nov 25 2003


Redundant, really. If you've already got the plastic jesus to protect you, you've got allll your bases covered. Hell, why even wear seat belts?
-- genevieve, Dec 05 2003


I don't care if it rains or freezes
'Long as I got my Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.

Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nations
With my Plastic Jesus I'll go far.
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car

I'm afraid He'll have to go.
His magnets ruin my radio
And if I have a wreck He'll leave a scar.

(Old folk song by Ernie Marrs).
-- krelnik, Dec 05 2003


While we have this popped to the top, can we get that spelling error fixed in the title of this idea? (detector).
-- krelnik, Dec 05 2003


spelling corrected in order to appease krelnik <sheepish> eight months and I never even noticed it! </sheepish>

renfield, I'm sure elvis is a fairly popular icon, (perhaps even a religious icon) and, therefore, included in the spirit, if not the letter, of the idea.
-- ato_de, Dec 05 2003


forget about the radar detector, detector detector, detector detector detector and so on. the True Savior™ should come with a builtin digital camera and a simple optical character recognition chip that can read the speed limit and unit (i.e. mph, km/h) off the traffic sign and repeat it loudly every minute or so by means of a miniatural speaker. repetition is the mother of learning, they say. with a touch of wireless techonoly it could call your cell phone to announce the speed limit if the bass plays too loud for the miniatural speaker to be heard. (patent application pending on my desk)
-- RoswellAlien, Dec 05 2003


I believe the idea was for a radar detector, not a dashboard evangilist ...
-- Letsbuildafort, Jan 09 2004


sure, the cops would know such a thing existed. but we still have laws regarding reasonable grounds for search, or did GW get rid of those?
-- trinityX, Jan 09 2004


Can I get mine in a Yoda - I am a convert to Jedi.
-- trekbody, Oct 13 2004


I say use a powerful radar transceiver that simply sends a signal at the correct frequency to indicate a constant "55mph...55mph...55mph...". Who cares if the cop thought you were going 85 - his radar gun said 55, after all. And if he tries to pace you to figure it out, you've had plenty of warning.
-- Macwarrior, Oct 13 2004


I don't suppose having this radar detector in the shape of an open bottle of beer would be a good idea...
-- MrDaliLlama, Oct 13 2004


This idea is great!

<MrDaliLlama> I had no idea we had a Mr Dali Llama. Please check out my Dali Llama door stop. <link>
-- etherman, Oct 15 2004


I like it. Cheaper / less work than a built-in system (I saw one once that was completely undetectable unless you lifted the hood of the car).

Radar detector-detectors are called "VG-2" as I understand and I think most new detectors detect it. I get false alarms on mine (it's legal to have here in Oregon) sometimes - but as I understand the detector shuts down when it detects that it is being detected - stealth mode.

<<simply sends a signal at the correct frequency to indicate a constant "55mph...55mph...55mph...>>

Not so simply - radar uses time information to tell the user how far away an object is. To spoof it, you'd have to know EXACTLY how far away the cop was - i.e., aim a radar gun at him. You could, I suppose, with a robust enough assembly, automatically zero in on the source, check the distance, make a calculation, and send a spoof signal. You'd also need to prevent the real signal from coming back. Hmmm....

I had a friend once who was a radar tech in the navy. He used to tell a story about "borrowing" a medium-sized X- band radar device from the shop at the base and using it to "zap" some pesky speed traps.
-- ooys, Oct 15 2004


I want one. Now i gotta find a big enough jebus to try to mod my radar detector into.
-- brodie, Oct 15 2004


//radar detector detector//

How in the heck does a radar detector detector work?

[Edit] WIkipedia has enlightened me. It also tells me that radar detectors often include a radar detector detector detector.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2014


This is brilliant. I'd especially like it if it spoke.

"Thou shalt reduce thy speed"
-- doctorremulac3, Nov 07 2014


Thou Shalt Not Pass.
-- FlyingToaster, Nov 07 2014


Shameless Elf-promotion: see [link] for appropriate FWI song.
-- csea, Nov 07 2014



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