Announcements given on public transport tend to be verbose and full of ugly, convoluted phraseology, such as "Passengers are advised to take extra care when travelling on the Underground today...", "We regret to inform you that...", "The train standing at...", "Any passengers wishing to travel to...". Therefore I propose that there should be legislation requiring all such announcements to be delivered in the form of haiku*, so you might have:There is rain outside.Floors are slippery,so take extra care.The train to Brightonis at platform eleven.Enjoy the seaside!Damp autumn leaves fall.Sadly, make tracks slippery.Trains delayed today.[* I'm taking haiku here to mean a verse form with three lines, of 5, 7 and 5 syllables, somewhat poignant and often with some reference to the weather or the changing seasons]-- hippo, Mar 13 2019 Seibu train posters https://www.moshimo...n.jp/33790/main-232 [not_morrison_rm, Mar 13 2019] Trains with few seats,perfect for sardines,dress up as a fish.-- xenzag, Mar 13 2019 Seibu train co has the right posters for this. Link-- not_morrison_rm, Mar 13 2019 You propose this to the Japanese they WILL start doing this.-- doctorremulac3, Mar 13 2019 The bus is leaving
Sudbury-Kapuskasing:
Trees and rocks. Repeat.
[marked-for-deletion: Maybe I've had a stroke. Why can't I get this to work? How is everyone stopping the double space? I want to clean this up to save space in scrolling comments.]-- Sgt Teacup, Mar 13 2019 This is Waterloo. Passengers for Birmingham Were on the wrong train.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2019 For Bristol, please take the replacement bus service. Slow travel - Daydream.-- hippo, Mar 13 2019 It is high summerwe have turned on the heatersyou are drenched in sweat-- calum, Mar 13 2019 deep white midwinter icicles form on your nosethe heaters are off-- calum, Mar 13 2019 Don't push to the front of the long line for tickets! Yes, you there! Hey! Queue!-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2019 Desperate to go?Toilets are out of order. Hold back tsunami!-- hippo, Mar 13 2019 Bus makes me sleepy Man next to me is sleeping I will sleep on him-- bungston, Mar 13 2019 Slippery-- pocmloc, Mar 13 2019 even with haiku we will still frustrate you, see it say it sorted-- mitxela, Mar 14 2019 [Voice's standard anti-haiku rant]-- Voice, Mar 14 2019 Groop we implore thee, Oh my foonting turlingdromes, Tis spring; mind the gap!-- mylodon, Mar 14 2019 In most locales this would come across as
'bzzzzzz... wherrrr wahh fzzzz shzhzhzh ington ruh..roh...whzzz crackle Jzhzhzhz bzzz next station.'
Mylondon, that is arguably the 3rd worst poetry I've heard...-- RayfordSteele, Mar 19 2019 random, halfbakery