Public: War
Revolution Revolution Revolution   (+3, -3)  [vote for, against]
Those Philipinno prisoners have a head start on this

In ancient times a battle was a matter of massed armies of soldiers meeting on an open field, bashing each others' brains in until one side's commander yielded to the other. Warfare now is a matter of blowing the opponents into tiny bits, or else piercing them with holes from a great - unassailable in many instances - distance. Clearly, civilization hasn't progressed significantly if so much of our international, intercultural, and most particularly internecine politics comes down to a matter of who can more effectively kill whom.

Many of our modern electronic entertainments rely on warfare simulation for their model. Perhaps it's time for warfare to turn to electronic entertainment for its future model.

Enter Revolution Revolution Revolution. It's very similar to Dance Dance Revolution (DDR hereafter) in that combatants are in fact dancing instead of laying about the heads and shoulders of the enemy. Instead of guns, riot shields and handy rocks and sticks, all RRR will require is a large sound system and combatants with a good sense of rhythm.

RRR demands of the combatants an obvious ability to coordinate large groups of people, and a willingness to look a little foolish in the pursuit of a higher cause. And perhaps most wondrous of all, it doesn't require that anyone get hurt (except for maybe some nagging knee and ankle injuries).

The massed armies take the field, and the music starts. Armies take turns strutting their stuff, occasionally permitting a legendary hero to shine with an especially well-wrought dance that will rattle the morale of the foe. The music drives them to higher and higher challenges - formation dancing, expressive dance, and as a final massed assault, breakdancing en pointe. The ensconced bureaucracy withdraws, beaten and exhausted. The exultant student agitators gleefully take control of their country's government to craft a new, better future. Peace returns to the land...

With a thumping beat.
-- elhigh, Dec 12 2007

[marked-for-deletion] magic (replace warfare with contest governed by arbitrary rules - get both sides to adhere to rules of contest via magic?)
-- hippo, Dec 12 2007

Threaten them with guns.
-- elhigh, Dec 12 2007

Is anyone else feeling dizzy?
-- Jinbish, Dec 12 2007

I'm with [hippo], and prepared to advocate for an official [m-f-d] tag called "replace war with x"
-- globaltourniquet, Dec 12 2007

//an official [m-f-d] tag called "replace war with x"//

I second that motion, though wish to mention, should anyone think of a plausible replacement to war, one that would actually fulfill the economic and political gains that war invidiously rewards aggressive nations, that they really ought to share it.

But that will never happen. So I return to my previous seconding of the motion. Seconded.
-- theleopard, Dec 12 2007

At least this a positive note+
-- zeno, Dec 12 2007

I hate war and everything about it. It is an abomination of what is supposed to be civilized behavior. I do like to dance however, even though I'm not very good at it. And really, even when I'd rather not have anyone watching, dancing is usually fun.

So much of our military is well trained at doing things in unison, or in close coordination with other parts of the group. That sounds like dancing to me.

Well, line dancing. But you get my point. Anyway, drop the guns and have the UN vote on the winner. Highest and lowest outrider scores are dropped, and winner gets a spotlight dance at center field!
-- elhigh, Dec 12 2007

//replace warfare with contest governed by arbitrary rules// Well, it sometimes works... a bit (e.g., India/Pakistan cricket).
-- pertinax, Dec 12 2007

So its a gigantic Micheal Jackson "Bad" video?
-- rascalraidex, Dec 12 2007 anything too derivative and the UN starts granting concessions to the other side.
-- elhigh, Dec 13 2007

Bun just for the mental image of a line of 1500's Scots and Irishmen doing the limbado on the battlefield vs. an armed line of English in a country dance. But if they take to Michael Jacksonizing I'm afraid I'm going to have to nuke the whole field.
-- RayfordSteele, Dec 13 2007

random, halfbakery