Vehicle: Mass Transit: Subway
SCUTA   (+10, -3)  [vote for, against]
Self Contained Underwater Transportation Arteries

Instead of subway cars arriving whenever they please to pick up the waiting public why not eliminate them all together? Fill the subway tunnels, after a good caulking, with water, put everybody in SCUBA suits, and pump the water and suspended commuters through the tunnels via a few large pumps or many small ones. At the various stops, or stations, create low pressure zones which will "suck" in those commuters who have swum closest to the intake valves. If this sounds too costly we can just incorporate the underground subway networks with the sewer system.

I've just noticed this is similar in a very few ways like the Tube Sewer suggestion with the dead fish. Nuf said.
-- ImBack, Aug 19 2002

You could build 'bypass' tunnels in order to form an express service for those not wishing to 'slow down' at a particular station.

Or if you can't cap the tunnels completely, just half-fill (half-bake?) them and give all commuters an inner-tube and flippers. Sort of like wet'n'wild twice a day.
-- ja5on, Aug 19 2002

Wheeled connections could be "A Van - Down By The Riverrrrr!"
-- thumbwax, Aug 19 2002

You could also add some subs so small groups could sit together and discuss matters during travel both subterranean and underwater.
-- Aristotle, Aug 19 2002

Hands ImBack a soggy croissant found floating... eeeww, that's not a croissant!
-- thumbwax, Aug 19 2002

No subways around here. Not enough water to fill them if we had them. But sounds much more interesting than a subway ride.

I'm choosing to believe that you meant "caulking".
-- half, Aug 19 2002

Not only do we have the subways (well... subway), here in Glasgow, but we have more than enough water to fill them. Hell, with the weather we've had lately, this'd probably be easier than keeping them dry. Croissant.

And I'm choosing to believe you meant exactly what you said. Heh.
-- Guy Fox, Aug 19 2002

surely the time taken to suit up at your point of origin and then de-suit at your destination would actually be longer than some tube delays?
-- kaz, Aug 19 2002

Why de-suit? I think SCUBA suits could be a new fashion trend.
-- ImBack, Aug 19 2002

random, halfbakery