Home: Garden: Wildlife
Scarefox   (+1)  [vote for, against]

I went out into my back yard for a cigarette the other day, barefoot, because I was hungover and the sun was shining. One step I took. One step. Barefoot. Straight into a fox turd.

This vexes me. I was terribly vexed. I have nothing against foxes, in general. I'm happy for them to go about their business, eating... whatever it is they eat. My only problem is their shitting on my patio.

Simple idea. Sensor in the back garden, when movement is detected, a speaker growls like a snarling ferocious dog to scare away foxes and encourage them to shit elsewhere.
-- theleopard, Dec 18 2011

Another Option... Helium_20Charged_20Dog_20Food
[Grogster, Dec 23 2011]

Sounds like one vexing vixen.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2011

//Just mark your territory//

I'll happily piss in my garden if it keeps the shit away.
-- theleopard, Dec 18 2011

Is it wrong that I read this in Kramers' voice?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 18 2011

I used to raise rabbits in my back yard at our old house. The area was highly populated by both foxes and coyotes, which started investigating my bunnies until I made it a regular habit to go out at least 2-3 times per week and urinate somewhere along the treeline. After that, they stayed away. It works very well and creates no odor, provided you don't do it too frequently, randomize your target areas, and go far enough from the house.
-- Alterother, Dec 18 2011

Piss works fine for keeping foxes away from the bunny house, but to keep them off your patio you must use human shit, and lots of it.
-- Whistlebritches, Dec 20 2011

Don't worry, he'll find one for you.
-- Alterother, Dec 20 2011

Points for Whistlebritches!
-- calum, Dec 20 2011

It all seems rather counter-productive...
-- theleopard, Dec 20 2011

Probably he was on your patio looking for half-finished bottles, then guzzling down the remainer. Leave him a proper bowlful, then track him down where he is sleeping it off in the bushes, bag him up and relocate him to your neighbors place.
-- bungston, Dec 20 2011

^wozzat the original plot of the "Littlest Hobo" ? dog comes over and the only way to get it to leave is to get it drunk enough you can pick it up and dump it in some other sod's yard.
-- FlyingToaster, Dec 20 2011

Just a note, but hearsay says marking your territory won't work if you're a vegetarian.
-- MechE, Dec 20 2011

Let me introduce you to my bushy tail !
-- nomocrow, Dec 23 2011

// hearsay says marking your territory won't work if you're a vegetarian. //

I asked my Dad about this, and he suggested that might be the case if you're Vegan; he thinks people who eat eggs and drink milk would probably have the proper chemical by-products present in their urine to trigger territorial responces (i.e. staying away) in predators, especially canine-ish varieties. I can't remember the exact terms he used.
-- Alterother, Dec 23 2011

I've always marked my camp site when roughing it but I'd never heard of that vegan urine thing. Makes sense though.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 23 2011

You're more or less on the mark. My father's ten-minute explanation boils down to "for a variety of reasons which involve a great deal of chemistry that [The Alterother] doesn't quite understand, some animals don't feel as threatened by female dogs as by males".
-- Alterother, Dec 24 2011

random, halfbakery