Business: Service
Service Express   (+9, -1)  [vote for, against]
Travel usefully

Service Express is committed to enhancing your transit time to its fullest value! Our trains feature a plethora of useful amenities for busy passengers.

The front coach sports state-of-the-art hairdressing stations attended by our friendly stylists, versed in the hot topic of your choice (please book newest staff members Sharon for celebrity gossip, Sean for economic policy debates).

In the middle section of the train you will find our on-board grocery store, for essential shopping on your commute. We are supplied with fresh produce from several cities on your route.

The gym coach boasts state-of-the-art exercise equipment and shower facilities. Sports garments and shoes can be rented, and if you wish you can use your own gear. Just drop it off in a collection box at your destination, it will be waiting for you on the following morning, cleaned, at your place of departure!

Why not stop off at the massage deck for fifteen minutes? Our expert team of therapists will knead those daily woes out of your body, and make sure you reach your destination in a fully relaxed state.

Next stop: Freedomtown.
-- placid_turmoil, Mar 09 2009

Interesting concept. Sort of like a train cruise ship ala moveable feast thingy.
-- blissmiss, Mar 09 2009

This would be quite cool if you could start in the rear carriage, work yourself forward and by the end of your journey after reaching the first forward carriage. You are presented with a degree. +

//train cruise ship ala moveable feast thingy.//

Great name for a band.
-- skinflaps, Mar 09 2009

High bulk turnover like the grocery store would be difficult. The gym car, the stylist car, and such, however, would be popular in areas with long commutes. Some care would need to be taken in designing equipment and training operators not to be vulnerable to lurching train cars.

Stylist: Just let me trim a little more around your ear and we'll be all done.
Busy Passenger: It looks great.
Stylist:Umm... Wasn't that van Gogh an interesting guy?
-- MechE, Mar 09 2009

I think some of this would work well, particularly the convenience-store part. But would it work well enough to pay for a store keeper?
-- colorclocks, Mar 10 2009

Certainly, they sell coffee, candy, newspapers, softdrinks, sigarettes, hotdogs. The grocerie section doesn't have to be the main profit maker.
-- zeno, Mar 10 2009

+ nice for a vacation trip.
including tanning salons?
-- xandram, Mar 10 2009

I'll go if they sell ice cream.
-- plasticspoon, Mar 10 2009

Tanning salons, of course! You're right about the lurching, [MechE]. Are there facilities which could *exploit* the instability? Surfing simulators?
-- placid_turmoil, Mar 10 2009

salad tossers?
-- blissmiss, Mar 11 2009

Jelly watching?

Blissmiss, do you have the mild form of Touretes?

I would be happy with a train that just got you where you wanted to go on time.
-- eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 11 2009

Who you callin' mentally ill there 89turtles?

//Are there facilities which could *exploit* the instability? Surfing simulators?// I was thinking about salad tosser shakers.
-- blissmiss, Mar 11 2009

Really? Trains still ride like mad horses. But, what a damn fine idea. Show up wherever you're going totally prepared. That's more like it. Have your cake and eat it too... while you work out... waiting for your hair color to hold... And your toenails to dry... and your salad to be... well, you know. +
-- daseva, Mar 11 2009

Hey, that gives me another idea!
-- eight_nine_tortoise, Mar 11 2009

random, halfbakery