Home: Shower
Shower o' Doom   (+24, -3)  [vote for, against]
Revitalise your morning routine - with terror!

I have occasionally seen shower alarms upon my travels. They usually take the form of a cord that you pull to start a timer. When the timer is up, a light flashes or a buzzer sounds and you know that x minutes have elapsed and you ought to get out.

The trouble is, I am normally too engrossed in the delivery of my world-humbling rendition of "I am the very Model of a Modern Major-General" to notice the alarm and thus I turn up to my next engagement flustered and late.

To solve this problem, I put forth a (this) design for the non-ignorable Shower o' Doom alarm. The actuator for the alarm timer is a pressure sensor built into the floor of the shower. When the showeree steps into the cabinet the timer starts and the fun begins.

Spikes emerge from the walls and ceiling of the cabinet. They're made of soft rubber so they won't really cause any harm, but their slow advance is still sufficiently creepy to excite dread. At the same time, a rousing musical score, strikes up (the Indiana Jones theme, or something from Erik Korngold's score to "The Adventures of Robin Hood" are recommendations).

Imagine the sensation of triumph as you leap from the spiky shower in the nick of time. Sliding across the floor you realize you've left your favourite Shower Fedorah behind. You lurch across the bathroom, dive for the shower, and manage to yank it out just as the spikes snap shut. Congratulations! You've made it out of another shower on time, proud morning hero!

If you should ever fail and a spike hits you, the shower door will lock, the water will turn icy cold and you'll be subjected to a random screech from Celine Dion's back catalogue. Mwa ha ha ha!
-- DocBrown, Jan 19 2006

Modern Major General http://www.naic.edu...poems/gilbert1.html
You can recite the entire poem/sone from your head? Yikes! [+] for all of it, esp. the "Mwa ha ha ha!" [DesertFox, Jan 19 2006]

It is meant to sound expensive! Did I mention the the entire shower cabinet is made of gold, for no reason at all?
-- DocBrown, Jan 19 2006

I haven't the faintest idea what you could be referring to [boysparks].
-- DocBrown, Jan 19 2006

Luxury model includes the "I laugh in the face of danger, HaHA!" setting where the rubber spikes shoot out unexpectedly and vibrate, giving you an invigorating morning massage?
-- squeak, Jan 19 2006

You could have a random setting [squeak]. Rather than massage the showeree, I'd prefer contact with the spike to set off the usual failure result (locked door, icy water, Celine Dion) as this would train quick reflexes and total awareness.
-- DocBrown, Jan 19 2006

You don't think the Celine Dion is going a bit too far, d'you, [Doc]? Icy water and spikes I can deal with.
-- squeak, Jan 19 2006

But [squeak], there would be no incentive to hurry if the punishment were not truly horrible.
-- DocBrown, Jan 19 2006

Celine Dion? Wow, you're mean.
-- shapu, Jan 19 2006

The Shower and the Pendulum.
-- skinflaps, Jan 19 2006

//Celine Dion? Wow, you're mean// Yeah, cruel *and* unusual.
-- coprocephalous, Jan 19 2006

(To the tune of the British "Robin Hood" theme tune)

Shower O' Doom, Shower O' Doom,
Cold, and schmaltz, and spikes!
Shower O' Doom, Shower O' Doom,
"Brrr," and, "Aargh!" and, "Yikes!"
You'll soon be dry,
Or you will die!
Shower O' Doom, Shower O' Doom, Shower O' Doom!
-- friendlyfire, Jan 19 2006


Very nice, very nice.
-- dbmag9, Jan 19 2006

Very, very nice. Guess what I'll be singing in the shower later.

(I'd croissant that song if I could [friendlyfire]. Why have we no monthly anno top ten?)
-- squeak, Jan 19 2006

It's what I do instead of having ideas. Great Gatsby, I haven't had one for three months! My brain has turned to custard - and not the good, all-fluids-to-all-men kind, the gruesome school-dinner-dessert kind.
-- friendlyfire, Jan 19 2006

Fantastic, simply fantastic. +
-- finrod, Jan 19 2006

"Douche de la mort"
-- hippo, Jan 19 2006

Celine Dion - that comes under "cruel & unusual" !
-- DrCurry, Jan 19 2006

your out of your mind. this should be moved to the "evil" category
-- FireElf, Jul 10 2006

I once fell off of a stage (the theatre kind, not the horse drawn kind) whilst singing the Robin Hood theme. Just thought that I'd mention it.
-- DrBob, Jul 10 2006

Would the premium versions include a huge rubber boulder?
-- ye_river_xiv, Jul 10 2006

just for the phrase "favorite shower fedora" you get a bun. for all that other stuff, i stand outside and yell at people who don't like this idea.
-- tcarson, Jul 10 2006

The water could turn deep red like blood ...but then it would take extra time to wash that off. Forget it.
-- phundug, Jul 10 2006

[ye_river], perhaps an enormous boulder-shaped sponge?
-- DocBrown, Jul 11 2006

[+] nice. How about flashing strobe lights and Halloween music?
-- MoreCowbell, Jul 11 2006

Still love this. Still love [friendlyfire]'s song.
-- squeak, Jul 11 2006

random, halfbakery