Food: Poultry
Shuddering Pickled Chicken Dispenser   (+9, -1)  [vote for, against]
"Oi fancy a bit of pickled chicken tonight"

The large cylindrical stainless steel chicken pickler stands tall in the corner of the farmhouse kitchen, with its pipes and handle valves glistening. The small hatch at the bottom gently slides open.

"Here chicken,chicken"

As the chicken is being ushered towards the hatch.

"Here chicken,chicken"

"Maybe some seeds will encourage chicken into the machine"

The chicken pops it's head round the corner to investigate this mysterious place."cluck"..and with promptitude enters through the hatch, which.... Quickly, slides shut.


The preparation and processing of the chicken is automatically proceeded.Feathers and *not wants* are discarded through the chute connected to a steel vat like bucket.

The fast prepared pickled chicken green button is pressed.

The valves "hiss" and "groan" as stage two comes into play. The water is boiled within the boiling pot contained within the second level of the machine.Chicken is conveyed to the pot and boiling ensues until cooked.

After a short period of time, the boiling pot drains and the valves relax, transferring chicken into the high pressured drum filled with vinegar and spices.The machine once more groans as the drum spins violently marinating chicken throughout in vinegar.

The machine {{{{SHUDDERS}}}} as if a washing machine was coming into its final spin cycle.{{{{SHUDDER}}}}

"Ping!" goes the machine as a steaming prepared plump pickled chicken is delivered via a second hatch further up the machine.

"That be the chicken for my dinner then"
-- skinflaps, Apr 14 2004

what to do with the bones http://www.kidsrege...ion=eduScience&ID=4
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Hey - you really can make pickled chicken! http://chicken-hi-c...ickled-chicken.html
Looks quite tasty too, [zen_tom, Jan 09 2009]

Nope.It's cooked pickled chicken.
-- skinflaps, Apr 14 2004

Add a turbo intake, and you'd have a vacuum-assisted (BTW -- will fast decompression eviscerate a foul's feathers?) shuddering pickled chicken dispenser.

Where did its ________ go, Ma?
-- dpsyplc, Apr 14 2004

'Bang' thwack'..fixed.
-- skinflaps, Apr 14 2004

I believe our friend [skinflaps] should change his name. Mrs. Tweedie, perhaps?
-- phlogiston, Apr 14 2004

The age old mystery of why the chicken really crossed the road is finally revealed.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 14 2004

They've got these rotating barrels with rubber thingys on the inside to pluck them, as well.
-- Detly, Apr 15 2004

Well, pluck my duck! They near thought o' ever'thing.
-- FarmerJohn, Apr 15 2004

That would be the pressurised drum of vinegar spinning violently with the now cooked chicken inside.Either that or a bolts loose.
-- skinflaps, Apr 16 2004

Where did Tabs go ? i got the anno..Oh i didn't did i ?..uh oh..sorry wrong button.My mistake.
-- skinflaps, Apr 16 2004

Shuddered its purely related to the machine and the final proccess of preperation.
-- skinflaps, Apr 16 2004

bit like an overloaded washing machine. does it career all over the kitchen?
-- po, Apr 16 2004

The only thing careering all over the floor is the one trying to catch the chicken.
-- skinflaps, Apr 16 2004

Have you ever eaten pickled chicken [skin]? In fact has anybody ever eaten pickled chicken?
-- wagster, Feb 18 2005

damn, i live in montana and i've never heard of pickled chicken...where exactly did someone first look at a chicken and decide "hey i'll bet i can pickle and eat this"
-- Sabriand, Feb 18 2005

Goodness NO! [wags] I stumbled across this curiousity and thought WTF!( as [Sabriand] points out, I can pickle anything I like)
-- skinflaps, Feb 18 2005

skinflaps, you are very strange, +
-- benfrost, Feb 18 2005

I never knew how much work went into dressing a chicken. I always just sort of thought they ruptured on being beheaded by Elmer Fudd or something.
-- shapu, Feb 18 2005

mmmm....pickled chicken {{shudder}} [+]
-- zen_tom, May 25 2006

//skinflaps, you are very strange [benfrost]//
Praise indeed.
-- coprocephalous, Jan 09 2009

//like a bomb had hit a pillow factory during a hurricane// [marked-for-tagline]
-- Spacecoyote, Jan 09 2009

I once ate a pickled pig lip on a dare.
-- nomocrow, Jan 09 2009

i highly doubt that trying to lure a cucumber in an automatic pickling machine would have the same literary appeal.
-- WcW, Jan 09 2009

-- zen_tom, Jan 09 2009

random, halfbakery