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Vehicle: Bus: Route
Slurry Night-Bus Announcements   (+9, -2)  [vote for, against]
Like normal bus announcements, only slurrier

Busses are a common sight in London, and anyone riding them will be aware of the dulcet tones of Emma Hignett performing such classics as "133 - to - Liverpool Street - the next stop is - Elephant & Castle" or the gently menacing, "Please move down inside the bus".

It's time to bring her in again, wheel in a trolley of booze, and encourage her to re-record the entire catalogue of messages, only in a far more inebriated voice. This can then be rolled out into the night-bus fleet, so as to be more in keeping with the clientele of that particular service.
-- zen_tom, Jul 10 2014
"Emma's clients include Microsoft, VISA, Virgin Money, Barclaycard, St John’s Ambulance, Nissan, Tommee Tippee, Mothercare, Early Learning Centres, X-Box and Alton Towers, Samsung and plenty more." - though I'm not suggesting she provide drunken voiceovers for any of these folks. [zen_tom, Jul 10 2014]

Lovely idea - alternatively, she could record all the announcements in her normal voice with phrases like "you're my best mate", "are you asking for a fight?" and "are you looking at me?" added on, all in her normal voice.
-- hippo, Jul 10 2014

Ha! Love it :)
-- zen_tom, Jul 10 2014

or as I once heard on a tube train from a drunken Glaswegian (is there any other type?) As he pushed the whiskey bottle towards me: "Will ya take a wee drink, or de I have to smash the bottle over yer heeed?"
-- xenzag, Jul 10 2014

Hell I'd cross the ocean to hear these! Yes. +
-- blissmiss, Jul 10 2014

I was trying to work out what a slurry night-bus was. Maybe something to do with night-soil collection?
-- Loris, Jul 10 2014

Sounds like a cocktail to me. Let's have one...or three.
-- blissmiss, Jul 10 2014

Yes, one double Slurry Night Bus coming up:
2-4 oz Vodka (this to induce one form of "slurry")
2 oz Tomato Passata (this for the other "slurry" - use chopped tomatoes as an alternative)
3 oz Tomato Juice
œ oz Lemon Juice
2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce
2 dashes Tabasco
1 pinch Celery Salt
1 pinch Black Pepper
Method: Prepare in Highball glass

Add Celery Salt to the rim of an highball glass.
Pour the chilled Tomato juice, passata and the lemon juice in the glass.
Add the vodka and spices
Serve with celery stick and drink on the bus.
-- zen_tom, Jul 10 2014

Yummy...a flurry of slurry's.
-- blissmiss, Jul 10 2014

[zen], You're missing the key ingredient. Where's the Puree'd bus?
-- RayfordSteele, Jul 10 2014

I was more thinking of slurry announcements. Could be of two types, the first about slurry - “No. 2 tank about to overflow, all staff to relief valves”. The other might be in morse code perhaps?
-- pocmloc, Jul 10 2014

...or "Would the inebriated passenger at the back of the bus who has caused the floor to become covered with slurry please come forward to get a mop and bucket from the driver"
-- hippo, Jul 10 2014

-- hippo, Jul 13 2014

What [hippo] did.
-- blissmiss, Jul 13 2014

Ideally it would repeatedly forget what the next stop was, eventually remembering just after that stop was passed, then immediately forgetting again.
-- rodti, Jul 14 2014

what [blissmiss] said.
-- FlyingToaster, Jul 14 2014

Gimme an A, Gimme a P, Gimme another P, Gi....

Vincent vg can you hear me now?
-- popbottle, Jul 16 2014

random, halfbakery