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Product: Musical Instrument: Metronome
Soundless metronome   (+7, -1)  [vote for, against]
Shock-nome

I play the drums and something that kinda bugs me when recording to a click track, is getting the metronome tone and volume right. Usually you have a selection of really annoying sounds to choose from, which start to drive you crazy pretty quickly. The volume though, is the most annoying. You need it loud for when your rockin out full blast, smashin symbols and going for your epic rolls, but then you hit a quiet section and your click track is still blasting in your ears while your trying to do delicate symbol and snare work. My solution is adapted from the Funkodancer 2000, and consists of electrodes hooked up to a digital metronome, giving you small shocks at the relevant intervals. This could also be used as a training aid. Just hook up four electrodes and have a computer send shocks to the correct limb at the correct time.
-- Eggplant, Sep 13 2009

The Pacemaker - Not soundless - but nice sounding drums http://www.sonicventures.co.uk/
Metronome with Drum-sounds [Dub, Sep 13 2009]

Hey, don't get me wrong, I voted for the idea... http://www.drumjokes.com/
...but it's difficult to resist drummer jokes. [normzone, Sep 13 2009]

Electric stimulus to face http://www.youtube....watch?v=YxdlYFCp5Ic
[tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009]

The Body Beat Tactical Metronome http://www.zzounds.com/item--PETBB1
similar and used mostly by drummers [jellydoughnut, Sep 14 2009]

Giving electric shocks to rock drummers ? Doubleplusgood ! [+]
-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2009


sp. smashin' cymbals
[linky]
-- Dub, Sep 13 2009


training aid my ass; I know a few drummers that I'd be glad to hook that up to.
-- FlyingToaster, Sep 13 2009


The training aid would only work at the 4/4 basic rock beat stage. I think it would get really confusing after that. It would be handy for learning really strange timing though, Weird time signatures and funky offbeats are cool, so thats a plus.
-- Eggplant, Sep 13 2009


Where on the body do you connect the electrodes? You'd need to avoid stimulating any of the large muscle groups needed to drum. It would totally mess up your motor coordination.
-- tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009


Very true. Also you need to keep any wires out of the way of the sticks. I think back of the neck would be good, and you could just tape the wires to your back. The pulse doesn't need to be very strong though, just enough that you can feel it without it being uncomfortable.
-- Eggplant, Sep 13 2009


// just enough that you can feel it without it being uncomfortable. //

Not in our version ........ 440V, 3 phase, 50 Hz ....
-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2009


Drummers are people too...
-- Eggplant, Sep 13 2009


// You'd need to avoid stimulating any of the large muscle groups needed to drum//

I thought that was the whole point? That way the drummer would be guaranteed to be on the beat. The more electrodes used, and the more sophisticated the control software, the more complex the rythyms possible.
-- pocmloc, Sep 13 2009


//Drummers are people too...//
Not any I know.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 13 2009


Why do folk fear the sound of beating drums so much when in the jungle? (answer tomorrow)
-- xenzag, Sep 13 2009


"Beware the Drummers, especially when they bear sticks ....."
-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2009


// Why do folk fear the sound of beating drums so much when in the jungle? //

When the drumming stops, that's when the bagpipes start?

pocmloc, I understood the device to act as a metronome does, which is just to keep time, a steady tempo to play along with, not to actually trigger the muscles to strike the drums. Though that could be done as well, I suppose.
-- tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009


<old joke> What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians? A drummer <\OJ>
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 13 2009


Why has no one suggested timed flashing colored lights?
-- normzone, Sep 13 2009


// Why has no one suggested timed flashing colored lights? // Metronomes that use flashing lights already exist.
-- tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009


// Why has no one suggested timed flashing colored lights? //

Because they don't hurt as much as electric shocks ?

// A strobe might be too invasive. //

So, you're suggesting taking a strobe light and, er ..... ?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2009


It's not that easy to synch sound and vision - flashing-light metronomes are less effective for precise timing, at least without quite a lot of practice. Sound and vision are processed in different ways, and the brain does all kinds of tricks to fit them together. This works against you when you try to use an optical metronome.

For the same reason, electrical shocks might not be nearly as effective as a regular metronome for timing.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 13 2009


//Sound and vision are processed in different ways, and the brain does all kinds of tricks to fit them together. This works against you when you try to use an optical metronome. For the same reason, electrical shocks might not be nearly as effective as a regular metronome for timing.//

This might be true, I'd have to test it. I think it would be better than sound though. I know visual cues are pretty useless, surely feel is better than vision.

//What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians? A drummer//

I was wondering where all these drumming jokes originated because drums are by no means an easy instrument to play. Ever tried writing with both hands simultaneously? Well, imagine writing four different stories, one for each limb, thats hard. Drummers often play multiple rhythms with different dynamics for each limb (softer on symbols, harder on bass drum) as well as keeping the whole band together on the same page. You need to train your limbs to act independently of each other, but all in concert, it's not easy. So anyway, my theory is these jokes started in the 80's with the love of the basic rock beat, admittedly not very hard to play, and just continued on. Ever seen a jazz drummer? Amazing. Many professional drummers train like athletes to keep up their stamina and technique. I would rewrite that joke (especially these days with the rise of emo) What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians? A singer. People wouldn't like that though because everyone loves a singer. Dunno why, I can scream about how my girlfriend left me as good as the next guy...
-- Eggplant, Sep 13 2009


Mr Buchanan, that has been my experience, and I agree with your conclusion.
-- tatterdemalion, Sep 13 2009


I too am a drummer and have been offered a similar invention in music stores. It's called the "Body Beat"; it clips to the pseudo-musician's waistband and vibrates time for him/her. Not quite the same invention, just through you ought to know.(Link). And I agree, drumming is very difficult indeed. Did you know you have to correctly spell multiple different percussion instruments to describe the drumset? It's a challenge, alright.
-- jellydoughnut, Sep 14 2009


Yeah, I'm familiar with the challenges of making all your limbs function in differing beats, and that's probably part of the reason why drummers get the girls.

I'm not a drummer, but I've played with them a little and I found the initial learning curve intimidating.
-- normzone, Sep 14 2009


Is is too simplistic to suggest a earpiece with ambient volume compensation like they have in car stereos for convertibles? Or a small device that actually taps on your skull to the beat? The bone conduction should work irrespective of ambient noise levels.

On the other discussion, I thought drums were easy too till I was asked to tap four count notes with one hand and six count notes with the other. My brain doesn't do that.
-- MisterQED, Sep 14 2009


What many drummers do is wear either active or passive noise cancellation earmuffs to protect from the damaging frequencies of drumming. The electronic variation often serve also as headphones, like airplane headphones, so a metronome can be heard quietly over loud drumming. Still annoying though, and electroshock sounds more promising.
-- jellydoughnut, Sep 14 2009


Why do folk fear the sound of beating drums so much when in the jungle? (answer tomorrow..... sorry forgot to post earlier)

Because they know that as soon as the drums stop, the bass solo will start.(heard this one a while back on Radio 4)
-- xenzag, Sep 16 2009



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