Product: Labeling
Stain Labels   (+9, -3)  [vote for, against]
Coming Soon to a Carpet Near You...

Small, self-adhesive labels to stick on, or next to, unremovable stains.

Provides a fail-safe conversation topic at dinner parties while adding a bit of drama to your life.

"Jane's vomit, 11/09/05"

"Tom's semen, 07/12/05"

"Unknown substance (blood?) --/--/--"
-- Mr Phase, Jan 30 2006

Stain-A-Way http://www.aquaclea...ems.com/laundry.htm
Removes vomit, semen, etc. [DrCurry, Jan 31 2006]

Soy Sauce Stain Removal http://housekeeping...stains_soysauce.htm
Yeah, bleach'll do it. [DrCurry, Jan 31 2006]

Signed by artist perhaps

Art Patron: I had Jane over for drinks last night, I wanted something that would really pop against the dark colored wood - so nothing for her but merlot and Spaghetti-O's. I got her to sign it the next morning. Genius, ney Auteur...there really isn't a word grand enough for her kind of talent.
-- redsimple, Jan 30 2006


Semen and vomit "unremovable stains"? You're not using the right carpet cleaner!

P.S. Unless your house already looks like a museum, I don't see this playing well.
-- DrCurry, Jan 30 2006


Little flags on toothpicks.

At least Jane's vomit and Tom's semen are not the same stain.
-- bristolz, Jan 30 2006


[DrCurry], perhaps the stains are unremovable for sentimental reasons.
-- calum, Jan 30 2006


those two were just not meant to be.
-- po, Jan 30 2006


!
-- DrCurry, Jan 30 2006


I like it...but it would be a little funny to walk on. Maybe stain stencils?
-- riemann_ranger, Jan 30 2006


So how do you get Jane to vomit and Tom to, uh, whatever, through the stencil in the first place?
-- DrCurry, Jan 30 2006


I've been going through a period of getting one drop of soy sauce on an otherwise white shirt - and it doesn't wash out.

I've considered writing the words "soy sauce" in soy sauce on the shirt, with an arrow pointing to the stain.
-- normzone, Jan 30 2006


I can't believe that bleach won't remove a soy sauce stain, but I'm not about to experiment on my own shirts.
-- DrCurry, Jan 31 2006


//Soy Sauce Stain Removal// I've tried this, it only made the wine stain worse.

I think this is fully sick (local dialect, meaning good). As someone whose carpet tells many stories, I'm actually tempted to do it. +
-- spidermother, Jan 31 2006


excellent - could also assign spots for potential staining episodes to maintain symmetry - a big +
-- xenzag, Jan 31 2006


"<-- Stain left by adhesive on label pointing out earlier stain, wrongly thought to be unremoveable"
-- hippo, Jan 31 2006


This would work well, perhaps better, on desks.

Imagine arriving at your new job, being shown to your desk and reading "Spilt coffee, 20/09/05. WARNING: May still contain flu germs..."
-- Mr Phase, Jan 31 2006


...or, indeed, "Tom's semen, 07/12/05"
-- DrCurry, Jan 31 2006


"By the way, Tom was fired on 8/12/05"
-- hippo, Jan 31 2006


I'm also considering sewing the labels into carpet, because of the difficulty of sticking labels onto fabric. Carpets in a well lived-in house would start to resemble patchwork quilts.
-- Mr Phase, Feb 02 2006


BLUD ->
-- moomintroll, Feb 02 2006


I get the impression that [moomintroll] takes great delight in making chalk outlines out of enamel paint.
-- shapu, Feb 02 2006


//At least Jane's vomit and Tom's semen are not the same stain.//
Hah! Made me erase what I was going to say.
-- ldischler, Feb 02 2006


MORE BLUD->

I say, this is fun, isn't it?
-- moomintroll, Feb 02 2006


Of course. "fun".
-- Mr Phase, Feb 03 2006



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