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Food: Meat
Stem Cell Steak   (+14)  [vote for, against]
The perfect steak.

I was reading an article about stem cell research. I'm not a scientist, but from what I can tell, we will be able to take these stem cells, and turn them into whatever body part we want. At the moment they have heart tissue, but it looks as though we will be able to produce whole hearts, bone marrow et cetera.

Now, if there are any researchers out there, while you're creating bone marrow for Leukemia sufferers, and Aortic valves for people with genetic predispositions to heart disease like myself, can you make some *really* good steak from cow stem cells? Please?!

Ideally it would be a perfect rectangular prism of meat. No sinuey bits, no bone, no fat, and no dangerous amounts of penicillin thank you. Come to think of it, (religious concerns aside,) human meat could even be developed for eating. We could run around eating human flesh without having to go to all the trouble of marooning ourselves on desert islands and drawing straws!
-- sdm, Aug 12 2001

(?) Aventis magazine http://www.corp.ave...o_vegetarianism.htm
Techno-vegetarianism: Animal-free meat [Trouvere, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

McSpotlight http://www.mcspotli.../animals/index.html
Outlines McDonalds questionable treatment of animals. If ever there were a reason to use manufactured meat cubes over animal product... [sdm, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Cooking with Placentas
Unfortunate that Julia Child is post-menopausal. [Monkfish, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) "Hmm... what are my other choices?" http://www.geocitie...birth/placenta.html
[Monkfish, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Blood Collection http://www.cancer.u...trsplant/cord2.html
Apparently the cord blood is rather useful. Stem cells, you know.

(Yes, the links are off-topic. Sorry.) [Monkfish, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) TV Dinners, the eccentric British way.
[angel, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Placenta Info (from " international women's holistic health resource group" - yes, really.
Mentions the use of human placentas in cosmetics (French facial creams) and includes placenta recipe refered to by angel. [hippo, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

More placenta recipes http://www.straight...lassics/a3_104.html
...from Straight Dope [hippo, Aug 12 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Lab grown steaks http://www.newscien...t.jsp?id=ns99993208
Still weirds me out [zardoz, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Anyone for a 'steak maker' in one corner of their kitchen, next to the bread maker, continually growing the aforementioned rectangular goodness? Or one for each type of meat you might want. You could have stem lines developed from animals that aren't practical to farm in conventional ways. Better yet, why not combine muscle stem cell lines from different species to form chimeric meats that have never before existed in nature? Fish-bacon! Kangaroo-chicken! Llama-komodo dragon! (Of course we don't have to use stem cells - any old immortal myeloma cancer cell line would do, but I suppose people balk at sitting down to a nice steaming hunk of tumour)
-- Trouvere, Aug 12 2001

There is one (only one? hurray!) problem with this that has just occurred to me. Regular animal-grown meat is markedly flavoured by the diet of the animal in question. Perhaps we might find Stem Cell Steak a little.. off.. at first. Never mind. More onions, more mushrooms, more cheese, that's the answer.
-- Trouvere, Aug 12 2001

Dandy ideas like this are quite often the result of extensive "bud cell research".
-- The Military, Aug 12 2001

I' m sure the veg*ans will still see it as exploitation of animals...
-- StarChaser, Aug 12 2001

Ok then. To not exploit the animals, we could take a stem cell from say, a cow. Make that stem cell produce stem cells, and give the original stem cell back with a big thank you note. The cow can live happily and peacefully, and we can use the manufactured stem cells for our meat products. Guilt free meat... Well, just kidding.

I never used to understand vegans until I saw a documentary about McDonalds called McLibel, then went to the web site [link added]. The treatment of these animals made me feel sick, and I certainly don't eat at McDonalds any more. I can say I dont eat as much meat as I did before... but its so delicious!
-- sdm, Aug 12 2001

Or, after giving the original stem cell back with a big thank you note, we can exterminate the cow and all its friends, because we have no need for them any more, there are too many of them, they're just taking up space, and who's going to look after them now anyway? It's not as though we need any milk, because that's coming from a nifty stem cell line too. On the plus side, we can fill the vacant cow habitats with natterjack toads and spotted owls and kangaroo rats. Biodiversity again!
-- Trouvere, Aug 12 2001

Actually sdm, I'd think you'd want a little fat in that culture of cells. It's that marbled fat effect that gives a New York Strip precedence over say, a rump roast.
-- Lucky_Setzer, Aug 12 2001

Trouvere: /* who's going to look after them now anyway */ ... actually practising Hindus will be more than happy to look after cows.
-- sdm, Aug 12 2001

haha. I looked at the halfbaked link. Same idea allright. The curious thing is the way the voting went. So far I have 5 croissants, no fishbones. Vat Food has 2 fishbones, the essential difference being that Vat Food can be used to feed the poor- Stem Cell Steak is for pure self indulgence baby!!! But seriously, well, this was never intended to be a serious proposition and seeing as it's halfbaked allready I'll delete it in 24 hours or so [so if you have anything good to say on GM food, migrate it across to the appropriate idea]... Perfect cubes of meat are pretty tasty sounding though.
-- sdm, Aug 13 2001

[Mephista] I think they usually incinerate placentas. Maybe if you hang around your local hospital, you'll be able to fish one out before it gets too charred and inedible.
-- -alx, Aug 13 2001

Hey sdm, don't delete, forward to the White House. I think W. will be ever grateful for your thoughtful idea!
-- bobzaguy, Aug 13 2001

I have read stories of veg*ans eating the placenta, it being the only meat that wasn't 'exploited'. Saw recipes for lasagna with it. Sounded repulsive to me...
-- StarChaser, Aug 13 2001

Eggs and "Scrap"ple are traditional breakfast favorites--tasty and fit for McDonalds menu. I arrive at this opinion by stepping gingerly around the pile of smelly libelous matter on the floor.
-- reensure, Aug 14 2001

You won't like it, but see link.
-- angel, Aug 14 2001

angel: yuk! shallots!
-- sdm, Aug 14 2001

...see link for use of placentas (PA: placentae?) in cosmetics.
-- hippo, Aug 14 2001

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!...get your dirty hands off me you stinking bio-genetically artificial ape...aand then god gave moses these tablets with these laws on them and they said do not mess with my creation...most of the education i received was from chuck heston...sorry...personally i would eat it...but then again i would eat locust, frogs, or even mole slaw
-- 1MilesWest2, Oct 31 2001

-- per se, Apr 13 2003

//I have read stories of veg*ans eating the placenta, it being the only meat that wasn't 'exploited'.//
Depends on your definition of exploited, then.

Jr: What happened after I was born?
Sr: Well, we ate your placenta, and washed it down with a mother's milk shake. Dee-licious.
Jr: What's a placenta?
Sr: Well, it's meat, but we don't eat animals, because that would be exploiting them.
Jr: I see, so you exploited me, then. *Hack thwack hack thwack* My turn now, MoFo.
-- thumbwax, Apr 14 2003

This idea was baked by a sci-fi writer several years ago - if you have an old copy of Analog, find the story where the guy who makes stem-cell food products takes some cells from his wife's behind for a meat that tastes like pork.
-- cowtown, May 07 2003

If this process becomes mainstream we will not need animals anymore. Because many animals used for food have been bred for that purpose only, they are essentially big pieces of meat and will have a 0% chance of surviving in the wild. When the meat industry goes down, no one will raise these animals and they will become endangered. Then, all of the animal rights activists will fight to save these poor defensless creatures. The government will have to create wild life preserves for all of the cows, chickens, and pigs. The point is, I think it would be really funny to see a bunch of cows and pigs in Yellow Stone Park. Hehehe.
-- JesseOQ, Aug 04 2003

I was just about the post the same idea myself. I'm sure this will be baked someday, but the more I think about it, the more glad I am about being a quasi-vegetarian :) [Still, you get a vegan bun for not killing animals]
-- cowtamer, Jul 09 2007

Chimeric meats. Thank you, [Trouvere], that phrase will haunt me forever.
-- absterge, Oct 17 2015

random, halfbakery