Business: Criticism
Stop making bad movies   (+5, -3)  [vote for, against]
Pay to stop movies

This could be a website that, in response to upcoming movie trailers, members could pledge money to the studio to cease the release of a movie. Being a website, it will make the process convenient and therefore might actually work. The website would keep a running total of the pledged amount and alert the studio of that total. If enough people think the movie is bad enough to PAY to destroy it, the studio accepts the money from the website and ceases distribution and destroys all current stock of the film. Everyone wins, the studio makes possibly more money.
-- evilpenguin, Jun 21 2012 only the opposite. sort of. [swimswim, Jun 22 2012]

"Throwing star". One of these can spoil your whole day. [8th of 7, Jun 26 2012]

Atlanta Nights
Can you write a book so awful a vanity publisher won't publish it? [MechE, Jun 22 2014]

This idea may sound rant-ish but this idea came from the amount of money I would pay to kill Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter.
-- evilpenguin, Jun 21 2012

Hmmm - wouldn't the promise of easy cash for destroying your bad movie encourage the production of more bad movies?
-- hippo, Jun 21 2012

I think natural apathy makes this impractical. They are still likely to make more money from crap films than contributions to stop them. Also, where exactly does the curve of badness start to turn towards "so bad it's good"? Or, is "so bad it's good" just a case of cynical mass hypnosis?
-- nineteenthly, Jun 21 2012

Well, this might stop people from making bad movie trailers.
-- mitxela, Jun 21 2012

Then there would be hardly anything to watch!
And what [hippo] said.
-- xandram, Jun 21 2012

I am about to make a really bad movie. Can I have £50? (i.e. what [hippo] said)
-- zen_tom, Jun 21 2012

Did someone say Nicholas Cage?
Someone should probably mention Nicholas Cage at this point.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 21 2012

I'm planning to hire Uwe Boll to direct a remake of Krull starring Kevin Sorbo and William Shatner. I'tll be 3D, but done in post-process to cut costs.

Can I have some money to not make this movie?
-- Freefall, Jun 21 2012

Bad trailers would be ones which are better than the films, and there are quite a few of those. Maybe we should stop people from making good trailers instead of bad films.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 21 2012

// Someone should probably mention Nicholas Cage at this point //

And Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, he was pretty good in "Inception", but it doesn't redeem him for "The Aviator", or indeed the film itself.

By the way, [Freefall], that had better be a joke, but in case it's not we're going to track you down and kill you, just to be on the safe side.

Nothing personal, you understand.
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012

I would be happy with a "x percent artsy" warning on each movie. In my not so humble opinion the more time the writer and director devoted to making a movie OMG THIS IS NOT JUST A MOVIE IT IS ART!!! ONEHUNDREDANDELEVEN 11111!!! instead of making a compelling and interesting story the crappier the movie is. exhibit a: the cube. exhibit b: cloverfield.

interesting side note "shitty monster movie about new york" yields cloverfield as the second Google result.
-- Voice, Jun 21 2012

I like Cloverfield.
-- DrBob, Jun 21 2012

My condolences.
-- Voice, Jun 21 2012

I like cube
-- zeno, Jun 21 2012

There's a special place in Hell for people like you ...
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012

Is it next to those who say what a great movie The Italian Job was, and how good Mark Wahlberg was in it?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2012

Yes, very close. Slightly lower, though, and still underneath Judas Iscariot.
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012

This would just result in a huge inflow of money to India, to prevent the production of the crap Bollywood churns out.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012

I rather thought the original was better. The one with Micheal Caine and whatsisname.
-- Alterother, Jun 22 2012

I also like Cube and in fact see it as budget-wise a paragon of the kind of thing SF films should be. Primer is an even better example.
-- nineteenthly, Jun 22 2012

Couldn't help myself. I liked District 9.
It's been three years by now, is that prawn coming back or what?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 22 2012

//The one with Micheal Caine and whatsisname//

whatsisname was the one in the Carry On films. You're thinking of whojermaflip. (Had a glass ear; most people didn't know that.)
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2012

// The one with Micheal Caine and whatsisname //

Sir Alec Issigonis. After all, the Minis were the real stars of the film ...
-- 8th of 7, Jun 22 2012

So what you're proposing is basically Kickstopper?
-- Hive_Mind, Jun 24 2012

//the Carry On films//

I've always wondered… What exactly is wrong with you Brits that so many of these movies were allowed to be made?
-- ytk, Jun 24 2012


Sadism for inflicting them on the rest of the world.

Masochism for watching them in Britain ...
-- 8th of 7, Jun 24 2012

"Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"
-- DrBob, Jun 25 2012

"Arson. Some kids, arsin' about, I expect."
-- UnaBubba, Jun 26 2012

I really like this idea, and it would work in an entirely homogenous world of me's (Think of that scene from Being John Malkovich). However it is not practical as there is no single definition of a bad movie. For example "Matthew McConaughey" is the definition of a bad movie for me and yet the fairer sex seem to swoon at these movies.
-- PainOCommonSense, Jun 26 2012

//What exactly is wrong with you Brits that so many of these movies were allowed to be made?//
We were broke, paying back war loans to the US, so couldn't afford to pay to not have them made. [-]
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jun 26 2012

Maybe it's just time to start making good movies? The whole Transformers / Jackass / (Insert name of teen-attractant movie here) paradigm is getting a little wearisome.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 26 2012

Also wish I could have stopped "Doom" from being released. I probably still owe blockbuster for torching that DVD
-- evilpenguin, Jun 26 2012

And "Pearl Harbor". That was a seriously crap movie.
-- UnaBubba, Jun 26 2012

WARNING - Annotation degeneration detected, probability of list formation now 85%. Protocols engaged.

Step away from the keyboard.

You have 5 seconds to comply.
-- Custardguts, Jun 26 2012

I wish I could bun the Krull remake concept. In my heart of hearts, for nearly 30 years, I have carried that 5-bladed knife from that movie, and tried to throw it at my enemies like in the videogame of the same name.

The name Krull.

Not 5-bladed knife.
-- bungston, Jun 26 2012

// 5-bladed knife //

It's called a "glaive"

Traditionally, a Glaive is a pole-arm. However, "The 1983 heroic fantasy film "Krull" the hero's first task is to find "The Glaive" - a shuriken-like weapon consisting of five arms, each with a short hooked blade projecting from it"

-- 8th of 7, Jun 26 2012

Thinking more about Krull - Freefall, I bet you could just take the original and give it a little more pop with some CGI special effects. Maybe a house beat with the soundtrack, for the youngsters.

You could still include Shatner, digitally inserting him into the action where needed, if his contract permits digital insertions.
-- bungston, Jun 26 2012

//if his contract permits digital insertions//

Did I just read that? I thought we were talking movies, not proctology.
-- Custardguts, Jun 26 2012

It would certainly give the line, "Pull your finger out !" a whole new dimension of meaning ...
-- 8th of 7, Jun 26 2012

Ditto to "to boldly go..."
-- AusCan531, Jun 27 2012

If we're seriously talking about remaking 'Krull', why not just go the step further and remake the even worse movie that 'Krull' eclipsed in the box office?
-- Alterother, Jun 27 2012

Eclipsed? Do tell!

In iambic pentameter, please. There must be some art.
-- bungston, Jun 27 2012

'Twas once a movie, Hawk the Slayer called
That left the careless viewer quite appalled 
In quality, left much to be desired 
And to our fortune, was quietly retired 
Not much later came a film called Krull 
And while itself it really was quite dull 
It left poor Hawk the Slayer in the dust 
But mention that in certain company and it's sure to cause a fuss...
-- Alterother, Jun 27 2012

/ paying for bad movies means more bad movies /


Buy the movie company and close it down? or

Pension off the "bad" scriptwriter s ?
-- popbottle, Jun 22 2014

//district 9//

The prosecution rests.
-- Voice, Jun 22 2014

How much will I get paid not to make an exact (word for word) adaptation of "Atlanta Nights"?

Honestly, however, it's almost impossible that a company would deliberately try to make bad movies, but it's also unlikely they would be able to be paid enough to make it work.

At best this would be a stop loss move for them, since by the time it's obvious a movie is bad enough to want to cancel, it's already cost tens (or hundreds) of millions, and even the worst movie makes back tens of millions at the box office.
-- MechE, Jun 22 2014

Re The Eye of Argon...I've read worse...
-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 23 2014

I forgot what movie started the gears turning for this idea. Maybe it was sharknado. I would pay for them NOT to make the sequal, sharknado 2.
-- evilpenguin, Jun 24 2014

//district 9//

Depends what you look on it SF film, a bit so-so...allegory of the general looniness of apartheid, not a bad one...

For example "In 1984 518 Coloured people were defined as White, 2 whites were called Chinese, 1 white was reclassified Indian, 1 white became Coloured, 89 Coloured people became African

Vic Wilkinson's case is significant. He was originally classified mixed race. Later he was defined as White. But the process of classification did not end there. He was also classified as Coloured, went back to being registered White, and conclusively became Coloured in 1984. "

Kafka, eat your heart out...
-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 25 2014

random, halfbakery