Vehicle: Car: Artificial Intelligence
Subwoofer Self-defense   (+14, -1)  [vote for, against]
Read below

Where I live poeple are really good at ripping off car stereos and more prevelently subwoofer boxes from cars. I realized that when people steal subwoofers they are essentally carring away really really loud speakers. So I figured why not use the speakers to attrack some attention to the pilfer. I propose mounting the amplifier inside the box, along with a digital voice recorder/player and some kind of timer circuit. There would be a extra wire connecting the box to the car, connected to the new "alarm" alongside the normal speaker wires. When the box is the hands of a theif and they disconnect the wires from the car the timer starts. It lets them get the box into their hands and then start to walk away. Then the timer turns on the alarm. The digital voice recorder (radioshack) plays audio of you saying "I JUST STOLE THESE SPEAKERS, THEY SHOULD BE IN A YELLOW JEEP". This would be followed by that annoying emerengy broadcast system pre-tone in a loop. The amp that is mounted inside the box is powered by an extra battery also in the box. Subwoofers are loud and annoying, they can defend themselfs from getting stolen. And I know, why not just get a car alarm. Well I have a softtop......and.........and this the the clean version. There would be no limit to what you could record and then playback at 120 dBs during the forseeable theft. "EVERYBODY LOOK AT THE _______ CARRYING THE SPEAKERS"
-- evilpenguin, Jun 17 2007

Louis? Common Louisssssss...
Brilliant [django, Jun 19 2007, last modified Jun 20 2007]

Love it! Loudly crunchy bun for you.

Unfortunately, I automatically hate everything to do with subwoofers, since they jerk my knee in the direction of obnoxious people with gigantic stereo systems and no respect for other drivers. However, I won't let that cancel my bun.

I'll keep an ear peeled for your speakers at the pawn shop.
-- elhigh, Jun 18 2007

sp. "dBs"
-- csea, Jun 18 2007

[elhigh] Not that it will ever affect you personally, but I want to let everyone know, I also hate people with subwoofers that are inconsiderate. //Unfortunately, I automatically hate everything to do with subwoofers, since they jerk my knee in the direction of obnoxious people with gigantic stereo systems and no respect for other drivers// I only listen to the sub when I'm at speed (30mph+) seriously.
-- evilpenguin, Jun 18 2007

//I only listen to the sub when I'm at speed (30mph+) seriously.//

So you can annoy more people for shorter periods of time?

Subwoofers are not about music. They are for annoying the piss out of real people.
-- nomocrow, Jun 18 2007

Subs are only meant to reproduce sounds that are generally well below those of the human voice. playing back a person talking at high dB may shred the flexible seal that marries the speaker to the box.

Add a small piezo tweeter which doesn't require much power and you've got yourself a feasible idea here.

Personally, I'd have two tweeters, about a quarter step apart in the flute range to get a painful beat frequency at about 120 dB. I'd drop the speakers and run.
-- bleh, Jun 18 2007

//Subwoofers are not about music. They are for annoying the piss out of real people.// Try listening to Wagner with and then without a subwoofer. in the privacy of your noise-insulated home. And then delete your anno please.

Oh, and by the way, I love the idea. [+]
-- sweet, Jun 18 2007

[sweet] I thought Wagner was only for annoying the piss out of real people? </stir>
-- Cosh i Pi, Jun 19 2007

[Bleh] Please elobrate, I like the idea of a painful flute range.

[Sweet] & [Cash i Pi] I drive a Jeep WRANGLER not a wagner. Sorry that was annoying me.
-- evilpenguin, Jun 19 2007

Richard Wrangler, the notorious noisy Nazi composer?
-- Cosh i Pi, Jun 19 2007

//[Bleh] Please elaborate//

<nitpick> my name is not capitalized </np>

if you take two notes of different frequencies and play them at the same time, their intensity will "beat" at a frequency equal to the difference in their respective frequencies. This is how musicians tune their instruments, they play two notes that should be the same and adjust one until the beat stops.

In my opinion, being a bass player, all notes in the flute range are painful and unnecessary. but for example, if you were to play C6 (1046.50 Hz), and B5 (987.767 Hz) a half step below it at the same time you would hear both notes varying from full intensity to a much quieter intensity at a frequency of 58.73300 Hz. So not only do you have 2 painfully loud and high pitched notes, you also have them wavering in intensity so you don’t get used to it.

Gives me chills just thinking about it. Reminds me of my 6th grade orchestra class, 40 beginning violinist trying to tune their e-strings in unison. <shudder>
-- bleh, Jun 19 2007

When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be self-defence AGAINST the evil sub-woofer.
-- Cosh i Pi, Jun 19 2007

LMAO!! I couldn't stop laughing when I read this.

For some strange reason it reminded me of the scene in Jackie Brown, when De Niro and Bridget Fonda walk away from the deal, and he forgets where he parked his car; she starts teasing him in a really sarcastic way ("Louis, where's the car... Louis?? Common Louissssss...). That's such a hilarious scene [link].

I would hire Bridget Fonda to record something with that tone of voice. And she would get away with it, but the thief would definitely freak out!!
-- django, Jun 19 2007

I love it, this would totally annoy the theif until he can't bear it anymore, and then he would drop it on the ground and run for cover! Of course, then you could do a study on the average hearing tolerance of theifs, or how fast they run with a stereo in their hands. Perhaps there could be a timer that goes as soon as it is stolen, and then when it drops to the ground it stops going so that you can do the average speed math.... <TIC> I'll bet they drop it faster at higher decibels.
-- quantum_flux, Sep 28 2007


I w a s going to build this, damnit.
-- evilpenguin, Oct 27 2007

(Loud music in a car is dangerous as it makes it hard to hear other cars, car horns and the sirens of emergency services vehicles. No sympathy.)
-- vincevincevince, Oct 27 2007

It was you, wasn't it!?
-- evilpenguin, Oct 27 2007

You are looking for an inserted hardware watermark. You could call it Hardware Rights Management. I was going to post it, you know... for TV Sets, but it has a good enough home here.
The car is fitted with a small electronic device, placed randomly in the vehicle. The device accepts, as input, a data stream. It takes a bitwise sum of this and its hardcoded "random data" and returns a data output. This outputs to a twin device in the component. Result, original data stream.
Cons: Certain amounts of error correction and key sequence skipping correction protocols need to be build in.
Works better with immovable property i.e a house.
Pros: Audio watermarks, should reduce most of the output to noise.
In the event of a recovered device, ownership is provable.
caveat emptor: this device is not perfect encryption, only "is it worth it to steal and spend hours cracking the code using known plaintext attack and then recreating the encryption device". Streaming cipher is chosen for ease of computation.
-- 4whom, Oct 27 2007

random, halfbakery