Home: Bed: Mattress
Sucked and Tucked   (+4)  [vote for, against]
Nighttime aeration and comfort

This is a mattress with holes perforated throughout; at the base of the mattress is a powerful wet/dry vac.

In the evening, when you enter the bed and loosely toss your bedsheets about you, you can then reach over and push the suck button, which activates the vacuum and removes all the air between your flannels and you - tucking you in neatly.

At midnight, when you awake, sweaty, during a humid night in the middle of summer, you can push the button again for all the heat to be sucked out the bottom of the bed and fresh air trickling through your bedsheets; and again, tucking you in for a comfortable remainder of your snooze.

In the morning, the vacuum can be tied to an alarm system, which will send a reverse trickle of cool air through the mattress to awaken you gently, with the ability to turn that into a blast of air which can even blow the covers off your bed.
-- mylodon, Nov 15 2017

I thought of eleven reasons not to do this before I managed to stop thinking about it.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 15 2017

I doubt it really mattress.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 15 2017

Well, it's hard to stop thinking about it. Although I'm bedding it's the most sheety idea I've had this year.
-- mylodon, Nov 16 2017

It's definitely quilt far pillow your usual standard.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 16 2017

I'm just trying to blanket out of my mind
-- hippo, Nov 16 2017

I am not going to scare up links at work, but eh, vacbeds?
-- calum, Nov 16 2017

Bonus if it could suck some of the microbes off.
-- RayfordSteele, Nov 16 2017

Similar prior art in the fetish world, but I'll leave it to you to find it.
-- normzone, Nov 17 2017

//Bonus if it could suck some of the microbes off.//

I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 17 2017

random, halfbakery