Product: Musical Instrument: Wind
Swanee bagpipes   (+11, -1)  [vote for, against]
sliding up and down

A set of bagpipes is constructed with a sliding chanter like a swannee whistle.

Since this only requires one hand to operate, the other hand can be free to operate a lever that slides the swanee attachment on all three drones at once.

A thumb hole is provided to allow cuts to disguise the pitch shift if desired by the piper; alternatively a continuous swooping style can be used.

The drones lever can also be connected to a kilt winch (q.v.) for visual delight
-- pocmloc, Mar 04 2010

pitch-bending harp pitch-bending_20harp
The more civilised option [pocmloc, Mar 04 2010]

infinity piano infinity_20piano
Not that I have a single track mind or anything... [pocmloc, Mar 04 2010]

kilt winch kilt_20winch
Every time I read this title I am less certain [pocmloc, Mar 04 2010]

You have deduced a method to make the pipes even more unplayable...

-- wagster, Mar 04 2010

I wonder if there is scope to somehow electrify the whole shebang and add a wah-wah pedal?
-- Jinbish, Mar 04 2010

Really. Even the thought of this is hurting my ears.
-- wagster, Mar 04 2010

So, let me see if I can make myself a little mental picture here....

I'm seeing a lone man, on a windswept hilltop.... OK.

He's wearing some sort of tartan skirt.... Yeeeee....ssss.

He's blowing into what appears to be a dead sheep... Having some doubts now.

...whilst sliding his hand rapidly up and down a long.... OK - ENOUGH!! [-]
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2010

you are sick, MB, you know that don't you?
-- blissmiss, Mar 04 2010

[bliss] my shrinks would take issue with you on that one.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2010

Suggested category: "Weapon:Sonic"
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2010

And after that, they'd find a way to stop it making that noise.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2010

Wah-Wah: can surely be added using some kind of box with adjustable louvres? Perhaps if the chanter is placed -beneath- the kilt, then the kilt winch (q.v.) can provide the wah-wah effect?

Electrify it: Do you not think the sight and sound of this device is already electrifying?
-- pocmloc, Mar 05 2010

You have deduced a method to make the pipes even more unlistenable
-- coprocephalous, Mar 05 2010

An excellent idea, pocmloc. Making the unlistenable unplayable!
-- DrBob, Mar 05 2010

//drones lever can also be connected to a kilt winch// I have to attend a solemn ceremony today, dammit, and now you've put that idea into my head. I shall have to bite the inside of my cheek to suppress giggling.
-- mouseposture, Mar 05 2010

random, halfbakery