Culture: Self-Help
Swinging Cat Sensor/De-stressor   (+6, -4)  [vote for, against]
Find and Eliminate Life's Biggest Irritations

Most have heard the expression “you can’t swing a cat without hitting a ______.” For example, Protestants in some places might say “you can’t swing a cat without hitting a Catholic.” Democrats in the US would probably say “you can’t swing a cat without hitting a right-wing Republican.” Many of us might say “you can’t swing a cat without hitting an idiot.”

Sometimes in life one has a strong sense of things being out of sorts or off-kilter, but you can’t quite say what exactly it is that is pissing you off so much.

It seems obvious to me that cats, particularly when properly swung by the tail, can be an effective tool to determine just what or who it is that has increased in population, occurrence, degree of obnoxicity, or proximity to oneself.

The logical next step, not often employed, would seem to be to use the cat to remove a fair number of these problems. When swung by the tail long enough, cats will obligingly extend their claws, and wail hideously. Woes begone.

(not sure about the category on this one...)
-- Boomershine, Nov 01 2010

An Example http://www.travelpo...262117492/tpod.html
I didn't make it up. [Boomershine, Nov 01 2010]

And Another http://answers.yaho...071201144102AAt9Uty
Just saying.... [Boomershine, Nov 01 2010]

The cat referred to in the expression "not enough room to swing a cat" is the instrument of punishment known as "a cat of nine tails". I love cats, so I'm afraid I cannot approve of any idea that suggests injuring them, so that bone is mine.
-- xenzag, Nov 01 2010

[link] Also, isn't our mission here sometimes to take already baked ideas, unbake them a bit, as it were? I thought so.

[xenzag] I understand. I figured the cat would survive this well enough. Nine lives and all. Besides, 8th/7 will be along soon to bun this for the very reason you boned it. It all works out. I respect our differences.
-- Boomershine, Nov 01 2010

[bigsleep] Excellent idea, that harness. Not so likely to lose your grip on the animal.
-- Boomershine, Nov 01 2010

I love cats, but if I had home intruders and no weapon besides, I would use a box of cats for effective problem neutralization. In order to flesh this out in the realm of an idea, it should be a rigid soundproof backpack with one cat in it that can be opened upon request. The home security version consists of a fleet of soundproof boxes of cats residing in any room of the house that can be opened similarly. Safer than guns. [+]
-- daseva, Nov 01 2010

You cannot balance any equation that has cruelty as one of its factors. 8th/7 has a sickness that needs some therapy. Time spent in a confined space with about a thousand cats would be my suggested cure. (This would be like heaven for me by the way)
-- xenzag, Nov 01 2010

[xenzag] I have no desire for any cruelty here.

So, how's about we use an already dead cat--which died of natural causes? This sort of negates the second function of my idea, but I can live with that.

Nothing in the swinging cat expression says the cat has to be alive.

Just trying to get along here.
-- Boomershine, Nov 01 2010

<serving suggestion> Science: Unit of Measurement

I have never heard the expression 'swing a cat' without the word 'dead' in front of 'cat'. As in; you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Tim Horton's.


... does that make this Schrodingers euphemism?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 01 2010

//Democrats in the US would probably say “you can’t swing a cat without hitting a right-wing Republican.”// Better example if you exchange "Republican" with "Democrat." Preponderance of Republicans (Democrats) is negatively (positively) correlated with population density.
-- mouseposture, Nov 02 2010

[Boomer], I don't think a dead cat would work nearly as well. That said, you might have to have a fairly prodigious supply of cats because, once swung, Fluffy is not likely to fall for that ", kitty kitty kitty..." trick again. Bun [+].
-- Grogster, Nov 02 2010

[mousposture] - just how dense does the population have to be to vote Republican?
-- BunsenHoneydew, Nov 02 2010

// Besides, 8th/7 will be along soon to bun this //

Are we THAT predictable ... ?


// 8th/7 has a sickness that needs some therapy //

... and Cat Swinging Therapy in a small room would be our choice.
-- 8th of 7, Nov 02 2010

Perhaps we could employ the cat's inate ability to locate these irritants more effectively.

Rather than swinging the cat itself, create an interface which allows the cat to operate heavy machinery, such as those used for demolishing buildings. The cat may then carry out the task quickly and effectively.

-- Twizz, Nov 02 2010

can't throw a rock 'round here without hittin' somebody swinging a cat.
-- FlyingToaster, Nov 02 2010

Can't throw a toaster without hitting a guy throwing a rock...
-- RayfordSteele, Nov 03 2010

You could fire a shot in here and not hit a toaster...
-- infidel, Nov 03 2010

You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses ...
-- 8th of 7, Nov 03 2010

As anyone here had the misfortune of garbing a cat by its tail?
Its sort of like a tiger by its tail, but more of a hand full.
Boomer if you try it the person most likely to get injurer is you, and that’s before the cat lover get you.
-- j paul, Aug 21 2011

//you can’t swing a cat without hitting an idiot.// Why would you want to avoid hitting an idiot?

//a confined space with about a thousand cats// You can't swing a cat without hitting a cat.
-- mouseposture, Aug 21 2011

    // Why would you want to avoid hitting an idiot?    //

It's not that, it's just that there are so many things that are better for hitting idiots with.
-- Alterother, Aug 21 2011

cat bolos ?
-- FlyingToaster, Aug 25 2011

random, halfbakery