Product: Cutlery: Cutter
Table Guillotine   (+7, -2)  [vote for, against]
Entertain your guests with the stunning presentation of...cutting a roast?

Everybody has been to dinner parties, whether thrown by your neighbors, your own families, or having a prospective business client over for dinner. Why not "Kick it up a notch" to change the annoying, tedious, prone for error activity of cutting up a roast/loaf of crusty bread/turkey, etc into an exciting, medevial experience?

How about the "Table Guillotine"? Simply load the roast/loaf of crusty bread/turkey, etc into the guillotine, set the desired slice thickness, and let your guests pull the string and have their food instantly and entertainingly cut into a hearty-sized slice. Of course, it would have to have several redundant safety features to prevent Aunt Susie from inadvertantly slicing off her finger while trying to get another slice of Grandma's warm crusty italian bread.
-- BinaryCookies, Aug 22 2002

Half Baked http://www.halfbake...a/Fish_20Guillotine
I would say. [DrCurry, Aug 23 2002]

Baked, ish
Except that this one seems designed to lop off Aunt Susie's finger, and looks better suited to carrots than roast chicken, so I guess it doesn't count. [DrCurry, Aug 23 2002]

[DrCurry], do you have some kind of obsession of yelling baked at my ideas?
-- BinaryCookies, Aug 23 2002

[Nah, I just like posting links. And you've gotten off pretty lightly lately.]
-- DrCurry, Aug 23 2002

We built a guillotine a few years ago, and the blade assembly has to be pretty heavy to cut effectively. So we don't think you could cut big stuff with a guillotine about 300mm high, but it could chop celery, breadsticks, and things like that, and would be a wonderful talking point.

Thinly-sliced croissant.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 23 2002

[BinaryCookies]: You should have seen his previous incarnation!
-- angel, Aug 23 2002

..for the next time you're visited by Robespierre.
-- ImBack, Aug 25 2002

Get somebody who is good at it to teach you the slice and dice. Carving should be an exciting, even mouth-watering experience for your guests, who get to enjoy both presentation and delectation in rapid succession. BTW, there's nothing like a trip to the ER on Xmas day with Aunt Susies digits in the ice chest in place of a six-pack.
-- panamax, Aug 25 2002

I'd like a smaller version with a curved blade to keep my nails trimmed.
-- FarmerJohn, Aug 25 2002

Add a spring to the thing, and don't worry about the weight of the blade.
-- RayfordSteele, Aug 26 2002

// I built a guillotine a few years ago // - [8th]

This surprises me not one whit.
-- BunsenHoneydew, Nov 03 2016

Made me think chandelier sized. Blades arranged like a giant garlic cuber. Wooooosh, thwack. AHHhhhhh
-- wjt, Nov 04 2016

random, halfbakery