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Tartanotroid   (+11, -1)  [vote for, against]
Finally, a solution to the problem of making quality tartan food.

Prepare a bagpipe by extending the octopus-like pipes further into the bag, all the way up the end of the blow-nozzle. Fill these pipes with icing matching the colours depicted on the outside of the bagpipes.

Some of these pipes are now flattened, some thinned at the nozzle in such a way as to create a multicoloured tartanesque stripe of coloured icing upon correct ensqongination of the bag.

Having covered the cake in horizontally formatted stripes, the Tartanotroid can be reoriented to put strips down in the vertical direction, completing the tartan effect.

But there's more!

By charging the Tartanotroid with a mixture of butter, marmite and peanut butter, you can create your own tartan toast.

Vegetable purées, nut butters, paté ensembles, jams, mashed potato, mince, ice cream, mashed pies, gravy, liquid ham - the list of tartanable food items is endless!
-- zen_tom, Nov 04 2009

// the list of tartanable food items is endless! //

Yes, that's what's so worrying about the whole idea.
-- 8th of 7, Nov 04 2009


trying not to picture the insides of the bags when this is repeatedly enacted.
-- dentworth, Nov 04 2009


//ensqongination//

?
-- DrBob, Nov 04 2009


The act of ensqonging. What more is there to say?

I suspect the French (as always) may have got there first - they have the verb "tartiner"
-- coprocephalous, Nov 04 2009


This would improve the sound considerably.
-- wagster, Nov 04 2009


How would sir like his omelette?
Dress MacLeod, with a Campbell of Argyll salad on the side.
-- calum, Nov 04 2009


<Lambert> There can be only onelette! </Lambert>
-- theleopard, Nov 04 2009


pretty spaghetti
-- po, Nov 04 2009


Tartellini ?
-- 8th of 7, Nov 04 2009


[theleopard]: Here you stand. Master of the Uuuuuniverse!
-- Jinbish, Nov 04 2009


Cake-ophonic tartinnabulation.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 05 2009



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