Product: Food Dispenser
The Cake-u-later   (+3)  [vote for, against]
Damage limitation and exercise

This is an interactive distance control cake stand based upon ADC technology in cars, for use by struggling would-be dieters as part of a daily monitored exercise régime. Load on the cake of your choice, flip the switch and watch the Cake-u-later move to standard distance; once this position is achieved, start to follow it. You'll soon find that the slower you go in pursuit, the shorter is the distance maintained by the Cake-u-later. Once you achieve the dietary nirvana of ceasing to chase altogether, the Cake-u-later is programmed to allow you to slice one small weight-controlled piece of its payload. Attempts to exceed this limit or even steal the whole cake will result in loud and embarrassing warnings being issued and gaining you unwelcome attention from passers by.
-- Phrontistery, Sep 19 2012

This reads like a Greek paradox.

I don't think most people's kitchens are big enough for this to work.
-- DrCurry, Sep 19 2012


Perhaps we could set up a verticle cake-U-later, using a bicycle mechanism with a sort of logarithmic basis. Initially the pedaling would move the cake towards the user in a seemingly uniform movement, but as the cake comes closer, a disproportionate amount of energy is required to stop the high tension auto recoil mechanism from kicking in. Effectively making the task of eating virtually un-achievable.
-- PainOCommonSense, Sep 19 2012


An orrery-like device for cake... any artists on here?
-- Phrontistery, Sep 20 2012


Nirvana is getting a piece of cake that you do not want?
-- WcW, Sep 20 2012


[+] This is a metaphor for chasing girls.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 20 2012


//verticle // a frozen vert.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2012



random, halfbakery