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Product: Toaster
The Toaster That Always Burns   (+5, -6)  [vote for, against]
This one slice, one shot toaster is a rectangle of thin cardboard impregnated with charcoal chips, dipped in wax and folded in a U shape.

Stand the toaster on its flattened base in the middle of a plate, insert a slice of bread between the sides, turn down the lights and put a match to the fuse. The toaster flames up briefly before its embers glow for a minute.

This magic moment is over when the bread falls over. Brush off any benign ash, spread butter on the warm, crispy, golden surface and enjoy.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004

mmmmmm just like mother used to make.
-- po, Oct 26 2004


Naked flame, you say? [+]
-- DocBrown, Oct 26 2004


FJ you're my hero, but if you read my 'Obituary Channel' idea its been a bad day for my heroes. Gotta bone ya mate. [-] Unless you do a brill illustration.
-- etherman, Oct 26 2004


[-] for the nauseating second paragraph.
-- jutta, Oct 26 2004


Mmm, lapsang souchong bread.
-- harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004


baked? I think the first toast ever made was probably made with real-live fire instead of electric resistance. This just adds a disposable / highly consumptive element. FarmerJohn usually does better.
-- sophocles, Oct 26 2004


I've made toast over a fire before. It feels wholesome.
-- harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004


Maybe if it was a thin plank of cedar or something. I'll have to think about this idea more before I give it my vote either way.
-- sartep, Oct 26 2004


[etherman] Nobody bribes the farmer.

[jutta] Think candle lit breakfast. Think sunset or rainbow. I think sometimes a piece of white/whole-wheat toast with just butter can release myriad taste sensations of yeast and grain(s).

[sophocles] I’m probably more environmentally conscious than you. Even some of your electricity is produced by coal and gas. No, the farmer doesn’t usually do better. This is about average – my best for the moment.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004


FJ - I wish you knew my mom!
-- po, Oct 26 2004


"The Farmer", I love it!

The Farmernator will be back.
-- spiritualized, Oct 26 2004


[po] I fear she's too old for me but tell me what she does.
-- FarmerJohn, Oct 26 2004



random, halfbakery