Culture: Website: Reference   (+8, -9)  [vote for, against]
Learn from the masters of ineptitude

"A place where people go to share porn and recommend bad movies." That's the internet in a nutshell, really.

So why not add a little more functionality to the thing, and help out those guys who are still single, or those who are looking to improve their marriage, with a handy-dandy reference guide to not depressing women?

(Impressing women, I must note, is something I've found to be extremely difficult. I'm working from the lowest common denominator here, people; bear with me.)

At, users could submit actions or items that simply make women angry, and a possible explanation of WHY it made them so. That way, those of us looking for perfect ideas for dates could browse through quickly and learn to avoid certain behaviors or places (Hate: Nudie Bars. Why: Too much objectification of women for first or second date. Third date: use your judgement).

We could also use the practical experience of other men to find out what's irritating our current mates so much (Hate: Flatulence. Why: Unknown. Presumably, noise wakes her up while sleeping) and avoid that behavior, place, or item.

An experience requirement would, of course, be necessary. Something must be tried and failed at least twice before submission, just to make sure it's not just a failing of the girl in question, rather than you. Because, after all, burping contests might work with SOME women.

Please note: I thought about "" as well, but it came out to be a very short list - doilies, pink walls, and Oxygen Network were about all I could come up with.
-- shapu, Oct 19 2004

Heartless Bitches International
Exactly this idea. [contracts, Oct 19 2004]

See [link]. I'd say it's pretty well baked. Oh, and flatulence is just rude. Take it to the bathroom.
-- contracts, Oct 19 2004

My other half beats me every time in burping contests.
-- wagster, Oct 19 2004

I'm going to have to disagree with you, [contracts]. I looked at HBI, and figured that it was more of a female-dominated website. My suggestion is for a site, perhaps divided into categories (Restaurants, Activities, At Home, et cetera) with information submitted for and by straight men and gay women.

HBI seems like more of a "You don't need to conform to a Cosmo society" community.
-- shapu, Oct 19 2004

See paragraph 3.
-- shapu, Oct 19 2004

This idea is so bad it should have its ankles chained to its wrists and be beaten twice daily until it renounces itself.
From the concept that underpins the premise (Men's overriding concern when prosecuting their daily should be avoiding upsetting women) to the hilarious idea that could possibly be a short list, it's so breathtakingly ill-conceived that I have trouble believing it appeared.

Neither gender should kowtow to the other, simply go about your business, be honest with people where something is pissing you off that you just can't let pass, and you'll end up with someone who likes you for you. This -trust me- will beat spending your days hunched over a website, balls dangling from a dainty little purse by your side, trying to work out how to please a bitter hag who will spend her time moaning about how you don't care about her because you fail to leave the seat up.In summary: bad idea.

Behave with thoughtfulness towards others but be mindless of their opinions of you, and be ye girl or boy, dammit, it will appeal to someone.
-- DocBrown, Oct 19 2004

"...trying to work out how to please a bitter hag who will spend her time moaning about how you don't care about her because you fail to leave the seat up."

Well, no wonder she's bitter.
-- bristolz, Oct 19 2004

/ don't care about her because you fail to leave the seat up./

Methinks someone could learn from such a site.
-- egbert, Oct 19 2004

Oh, hi Bris.
-- egbert, Oct 19 2004

Well, I guess it's safe to assume that [DocBrown] didn't like it.

I will presume that [DocBrown] has never been left wondering, "what'd I do?" after a fight/argument/adult discussion with a ladyfriend. And if you haven't either, then you'll probably bone this idea.

But I think it's fair to say that a lot of us HAVE. So, this website would serve as a resource - go through your day, things you said, and cruise through the categories on, and see what you screwed up. After all, despite one's best efforts at communication, saying, "Well, why don't you tell me what I did wrong?" doesn't always work. Hence, the idea.
-- shapu, Oct 20 2004

Hiya, Mr. egbert.

As to the idea. Yeah, women and men do differ but so does any one person from another. I have little faith in fixed recipes or applying other people's anecdotal conclusions for understanding another person. Oh, and [DocBrown], leave the seat DOWN, please.

Besides, it'd really make me fly off the handle if I found that my guy was using the site to plan his interactions with me.
-- bristolz, Oct 20 2004

You'd hate that, huh?
-- waugsqueke, Oct 20 2004

Probably. Just another thing for a guy to not understand about me, I guess.
-- bristolz, Oct 20 2004

First item for the website... Looking up this website to plan your interactions with bris :)
-- reap, Oct 20 2004

Wait [reap], we have to find *two* women who hate it! <kowtow alert> And even though bristolz is as talented as any two women <end kowtow alert> she is, stictly speaking, only one woman. Somebody find po or blissmiss, stat!
-- Ichthus, Oct 20 2004

OK, a grinchy last post, so, some clarification:
[shapu], I have often wondered what goes on in the head of my ladyfriend but this still wouldn't make me want to consult a website for ideas about how to preempt conflicts by behaving in a "safe" manner. I'd rather have freedom of actions and "learn by getting burnt". Besides if you're constantly checking ahead and altering your actions to suit what you think she'd like you to do are *you* actually going out with her? Or is a youish character being created for her supposed benefit?

[egbert] you're almost certainly right. Such a site could teach me lots, but it wouldn't be any fun or even productive (for reasoning see above).

Finally [bristolz]I'll leave the seat down if you promise to leave it up - the door/seat swings both ways, sister. Assuming roughly equal bladder volumes, and a population of 2 split equally between the genders the probability of consecutive uses by a single gender is going to be less than that of uses alternating by gender. Therefore, to maintain a splash free and happy household, demonstrate your consideration by leaving the seat configured for the other lot.
-- DocBrown, Oct 20 2004

It was a good whatever for a long time but when it turned sullen I had to weigh the cost of repairing the whatever against the cost of replacing the whatever outright or, even, opting for something different altogether. In the end, though, I just decided to throw the sullen whatever out and without the immediate recourse to a properly dismissive alternative. True, it wasn't urgent but, then, apathy is seldom urgent.
-- bristolz, Oct 20 2004

edit2: Editing in-line comments multiple times should be cheating! My question would remain the same: "If you didn't care, why respond?" Do you think anyone is likely to care that you don't? Even I don't care at this point.
My sentiments remain conciliatory, you mysterious woman you. [Bows deeply in regretful respect and exits, flourishing ludicrous cape behind him]
-- DocBrown, Oct 20 2004

Item two.

Oh, and Doc, two words - fecal spray. Sometimes there are wider issues than mere personal preference.
-- egbert, Oct 20 2004

...and women use the w.c. 4 times to men's once-a-day. So in honor of majority rule,in a coed toilet, leave the seat down.

The toilet seat is just symbolic of the petty stupid issues that divide men and women so readily. [Doc Brown] is correct, we should be more considerate of each other, but [shapu] is also correct in that a little research from other's experiences would be beneficial to many of both sexes.
-- dentworth, Oct 20 2004

Bit of a generalisation there, dentworth. Both the ladies with whom I live (I divide my time) disappear to the ladies room less often than I. But I leave the toilet seat down because that's how they both prefer it.
-- calum, Oct 20 2004

ok, I exaggerate, twice a day, whether they need it or not, I live with 4 men, the boys bathroom, disgusting as it tends to be, has the lid up most of the time. Don't care. It's theirs.

and you are a double dipping, two timing, sweetheart of a fellow, [calum] : P
-- dentworth, Oct 20 2004

I usually agree with what bris says except about leaving the lights on!
-- po, Oct 20 2004

//and you are a double dipping, two timing, sweetheart of a fellow, [calum] //
Sadly no. I am merely a coward.
-- calum, Oct 20 2004

Sounds like [calum] should consult as soon as possible...
-- dentworth, Oct 20 2004

And one of the ladies I live with is my sister. No, really.
-- calum, Oct 20 2004

Yes, really, I *am* his sister. Fact.
-- salachair, Oct 20 2004

-- benfrost, Oct 20 2004

Hooray! I've almost caused a flamewar!

My genius knows no bounds.
-- shapu, Oct 20 2004

I was fresh out of the box this Spring [UB]. Still doesn't mean I'm obliged to let anyone run their mouth without responding, HB moderator or not. If she had a valid counterpoint, she could have made it. If she didn't, or she didn't feel like continuing the discussion, she could have stayed quiet. Since she instead chose to "Whatever", I bit her.

I can be a bit spiky I admit but it's exclusively directed at ideas, not people, unless someone has a go at me. I don't think that's an unreasonable stance to take. Anyway, like [bf] said "Yawn". On to the next idea...
-- DocBrown, Oct 20 2004

-- waugsqueke, Oct 20 2004

Anyway, back to the posted idea. [shapu], this site would be perfect .... if women were all the same, or similar. Hmmm...guess not. By the way, the suggestion that they are is one of the things that would rate a top spot on such a site.
-- bpilot, Oct 22 2004

what waugs said.
-- po, Oct 22 2004

[bpilot] - I'd have no objection to ranking the site as the number one thing women hate. After all, transparency never hurt anyone.
-- shapu, Oct 22 2004

Except maybe the Emporer.
-- bristolz, Oct 22 2004

And birds.
-- Worldgineer, Oct 22 2004

The End.
-- Machiavelli, Oct 23 2004

random, halfbakery