Who doesn't enjoy a bit of variety? Tired of Spiced Cider? Tired of Eggnog Shakes? Well, come on in to "7-Eleven" for our tasty, new, seasonal treats. . .Turkey Slurpees! Guaranteed to land you into the Traditional Hospital ER visit faster than the "Fingernail Casserole"!
Made from fresh, frozen turkeys, our motto says it all: "This slushy treat is hard to beat. Tired of sweets? Well, hop on the meat!" Who says you have to wait for Thanksgiving or Christmas? These birds'll keep for years to come thanks to our special "Frozen Slushed Meat Churners". Completely Salmonella and Escherichia Coli free, you're assured of a healthy, fat-free, protein-rich meat-treat that's oh so refreshing.
So forget the Spam, or Processed Potted Meat Food. One turn of a nozzle and you'll be enjoying a Turkey Slurpee today. New--and only from "7-Eleven".-- TheParadox, Mar 10 2001random, halfbakery