Product: Toaster
Van de Graaf Toaster   (+9, -1)  [vote for, against]
When your hair stands on end, you know it's baked/toasted

I find the 'beep beep beep' of my toaster when the toast is done annoying. I usually end up hovering around the toaster just as it's about to pop ever since the toaster-stealing ninja started coming up and stealing my toast (well, nobody else has owned up to it).

Therefore, why not attach a Van de Graaf generator to the side of the toaster, so as when it is ready my hair stands on end when I touch the sides, rather than having to listen to the irritating beep beep beep of regular toasters. Or perhaps a doll or something similar whose hair stands up on end when it's ready, for people with thick hair whose hair doesn't stick up on end quickly(like me).
-- froglet, Aug 19 2006

It's easy to tell when the toast is done - Orbital_20toaster
Simply listen for the thump outside in the net. [normzone, Aug 19 2006]

maybe that's what Einstein was doing.
-- jonthegeologist, Aug 19 2006

You have a weird toaster. Mine doesn't make any noise. Instead, the toast pops up.
-- ldischler, Aug 19 2006

You people with your "hair". Feel pretty special, don't 'cha? "Let's make special toaster for people with hair. But, oh wait, *my* hair is too long and thick and full bodied and shiney for just a regular toaster for people with hair, we'll need to make one that uses a little special hair doll because like I mentioned before, my hair is so thick and long and crap.

But I'm not bitter.
-- NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 19 2006

I'm sorry if I have offended you [Spoon]. I can't help it that my hair doesn't stand up on end very well when I come into contact with a van de Graaf generator. My toaster would also be for people who don't have any hair.

//maybe that's what Einstein was doing//
What, stealing my toast?
-- froglet, Aug 19 2006

I use a toaster oven and it goes *ding*. Sometimes I think it should have a fire alarm instead. I go away from the toaster, which is one of my problems, so would my hair stand up if I was too far away from it?

In the US *beep beep beep* is usually a big truck backing up.

"hey, don't back over that piece of toast"
-- xandram, Aug 19 2006

It's not your fault that I have no hair <sniff>. I don't blame you that my head is more like a cue ball than a head <hiccup, sniff>. I remember when I used to have <little sob> hair, all golden with just a hint of red <blows nose full of snotty goodness>. I had a lovely coif... I can't take it! I hate you! I hate all of you! < Runs screaming from the room with arms failing, flings self on the bed for all out tantrum> Hair! Hair! Oh, my lovely, lovely hair. Why have you forsaken me?
-- NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 19 2006

That's cool. I like your idea, [froglet]. I'm sorry about that little bit earlier. I hope no one steals your toast anymore. <offers a pathetic little smile full of sorrow and hope while one lone tear makes its way down the cheek>
-- NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 19 2006

//maybe that's what Einstein was doing//
Fact: the only existing photos of Einstein were all taken just after breakfast.
-- moomintroll, Aug 19 2006

[froglet] - if you decide to invent an alarm clock, I don't want one.
-- lurch, Aug 19 2006

Love the barbie doll version.
-- wagster, Aug 19 2006

Warning: the barbie doll does not go into the toaster. It may be tempting to put it there, but for your own saftey, don't. Attacks by 5 year olds are hard to fend off.

//I hope no one steals your toast anymore// Thanks :-) , although I doubt that the toast ninja is going to stop any time soon. I just hope when he/she/it strikes again there's still raisin toast left over...

Now that I think about it, this is toaster idea mark 3. Heh.
-- froglet, Aug 20 2006

I was hoping this would be an idea about toasting bread using sparks off a Van de Graaf generator.
-- wiml, Aug 20 2006

Yes, toasting bread through a single powerful discharge of lightning-like electricity would have been far more appealing than a hair-stander-on-ender-toaster that may lead hairless people to feel very sorry for themselves.

Ah well, anything could be better than our toster that goes ANNNNNNNNNNNNNkkk ANNNNNNNkk ANNNNNNNNNNNKKKK every time the toast is done... and continues to do it interminably should the toast stick in the slightest... especially since it's an old toaster, and it always sticks half an inch away from popping all the way up.

Hmmm, how odd. I'm not allowed to write words more than 30 characters long. This prevents me from properly describing the sound of my toaster...

I'd get a new toaster, but I'm still trying to wean my mother off of her steam-less, taped-cord, rusted-bottom, broken-knobbed iron that she had since before I was born. She's had a new one for three years, and has yet to use it twice.
-- ye_river_xiv, Aug 20 2006

A very nice idea [froglet]. If your hair won't stand up, try washing it, or you'll end up as bald as a bull elephant's inner thigh, like our dull cutlery friend.
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Aug 20 2006

Just wondering what a van de groof toaster would look like...
-- DrCurry, Aug 20 2006

I thought that everyone knew that cat-and-buttered-toasts always fall the wrong way, no matter where it is, therefore it would be unfeasible and completely unecessary to have a not-working cat in my vDG toaster.
-- froglet, Aug 22 2006

random, halfbakery