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Home: Door: Access Control
Wasp Nest Hide-a-Key   (+21)  [vote for, against]

(1) Break an abandoned wasp nest from its place under your eaves.
(2) Use an exacto knife to carve out a slot big enough for a key.
(3) Insert spare key.
(4) Glue, or otherwise affix, the nest in a realistic, but out of the way new location -- make sure that the key slot is facing the house and not visible from a normal standing perspective.
Optionally: (5) To increase appearance of being a "live" wasp nest, find a dead wasp (or create one by putting a live wasp in your freezer), and then inconspicuously pin it to the exterior of the nest.

* Note: a better idea is to not lose your keys.
-- swimswim, Mar 19 2010

Fake Wasp Nest & Wasp Repellent
Note that it is designed to fool wasps not humans. [Aristotle, Mar 20 2010]

sp: conspicuously :) [+]
-- placid_turmoil, Mar 19 2010

*Note: An even betterer idea is to use real, live wasps!
-- DrBob, Mar 19 2010

I'd rather have a realistic plastic decoy that makes occasional buzzing noises, infused with wasp repellent (lest the real wasps get any ideas)
-- cowtamer, Mar 19 2010

Alternatively, transplant a real wasp nest to the front of your house and use on of the ultrasonic wasp repellent thingies to enable hiding and retrieval of your key.

Just don't lose the ultrasonic thingie.
-- Twizz, Mar 19 2010

New idea: wolverine's den hide-an-ultrasonic -wasp-repellent -thingie
-- swimswim, Mar 19 2010

This is quite clever and I like it. +, but i think selling plastic stick up ones, to put your key in, would be a more lucrative idea.
-- blissmiss, Mar 19 2010

your neighbors will hate you for having a visible bastion of infestation attached to your house. they may come with a stick late at night or a can of wasp-be-gone.
-- WcW, Mar 19 2010

// a can of wasp-be-gone //

"wasp-be-gone", pronounced "napalm".
-- 8th of 7, Mar 19 2010

Perhaps the key should only be accessible from inside the house?
-- pocmloc, Mar 19 2010

What if new wasps move in? Does that happen?
-- DrWorm, Mar 20 2010

No, because the key is inside the nest, so they can't open the door.
-- 8th of 7, Mar 20 2010

A related gadget [see link] that might inform the discussion by its very existence.
-- Aristotle, Mar 20 2010

[21_Quest]\\This would work great if someone saw you reach for it and remove the key, and you then surreptitiously replaced it with a real wasps nest.\\
-- mouseposture, Mar 21 2010

+ good 'un!
-- xandram, Mar 22 2010

To address [21Q]'s concerns, your Wasp Nest Hide-a-Key can easily be retrofitted with an electrification device. A current running through a wire in the nest gives any would-be burglar a mild ZAP, simulating the sting of a wasp. If you need to access the key yourself, simply step on the off switch, disguised as an ant hill on the ground.
-- swimswim, Mar 23 2010

What if the ant hill is taken over by real ants ?
-- 8th of 7, Mar 23 2010

There is a backup switch in the bottom of a fishpond full of clockwork pirhana fish
-- pocmloc, Mar 23 2010

What is some jerk *shifty eyes* puts real piranha’s into the pond?
-- xxobot, Mar 24 2010

In that case there may be a convenient accident involving the neighbor's cat that creates a diversion long enough to flick the swich.
-- rcarty, Mar 24 2010

Depends what the cow's wearing, and how attractive it is.
-- hippo, Mar 24 2010

Not to mention mood.
-- rcarty, Mar 24 2010

The thing is to keep the piranhas well-fed to stop them eating so quickly, so there should maybe be a paddock full of capybaras out the back.
-- nineteenthly, Mar 24 2010

Real capybaras, or fake ones ?
-- 8th of 7, Mar 24 2010

random, halfbakery