Product: Cleaning
White Cheddar hand cleaner   (+4, -3)  [vote for, against]
Gets the last bit of grease nothing else will

You've tried your best to clean up after a dirty afternoon on your back under your car getting that transmission changed, or re-tiling your bathroom, or shoveling out the chickens, but when you go for that quick snack of cheese from the fridge, you realize too late that as clean as your hands looked, they still left dirty fingerprints in the cheese.

Give this sacrificial chunk of cheese a good test squeeze, and if it shows up dirty, keep squeezing and kneading and try again on a fresh spot, if you can find one. Cut off a slice and feed it to your dog once it gets too soiled to expose fresh cheese.

Also available in twist up glue-stick style dispensers for school, office, beach. Made from surplus milk, needs no refrigeration, not suitable for human consumption.
-- oxen crossing, Dec 03 2009

maybe could work with frosting, too! http://thebarefootk...ts_on_dads_cake.jpg
[xandram, Dec 03 2009]

Complimentary idea...How about a pad of disposable mats outside the toilet, so that you can scrape your bum up and down it (like a dog suffering from worms) to check if you have cleaned yourself properly?
-- xenzag, Dec 03 2009

Where's the scientist in you both? Question: Does cheese clean grease from hands? How well? Why? Does the mechanism advance the human race and add a much needed tool in the system of our future foraging spaceships.
-- wjt, Dec 03 2009

//I use Go-Jo and Simple Green, and they get everything off just fine.//

Doesn't always work for me. Have you tried squeezing a block of cheese right after you think you have your hands clean?
-- oxen crossing, Dec 03 2009

I challenge you to the block of cheese test then, it can find dirt where you thought you were clean. You have to have really grimy hands to start with, though.
-- oxen crossing, Dec 03 2009

Cheese is oily and wet... It might remove dirt, but it has a residue of its own.
-- DrWorm, Dec 03 2009

The rule-of-thumb in chemistry is "like dissolves like," referring the the polarity of chemical molecules involved in a reaction. Most "dirt" on one's hands consists of non-polar molecules, which is why relatively polar water molecules alone don't do such a great job cleaning up.

Since cheese is dripping in non-polar oil, I believe there is a definite scientific backing to the idea of the cleansing power of cheese. As [DrWorm] noted, however, the filth on one's hands is replaced with tasty, tasty cheddar oil.
-- Laimak, Dec 03 2009

I feel cheshire would be better for this.
-- po, Dec 03 2009

Well that's it, oxen. I had no cheddar but thought I found a reliable sub, so says Martha Stewart...well to my surprise the Brie squeshed out onto the floor. Way to go, crossing bull.
-- blissmiss, Dec 03 2009

<cheese snob>"I only clean my hands with unpasteurised organic Caerphilly"</cheese snob>
-- hippo, Dec 04 2009

// the filth on one's hands is replaced with tasty, tasty cheddar oil.//


//there is a definite scientific backing to the idea of the cleansing power of cheese.//

woo hoo

//well to my surprise the Brie squeshed out onto the floor//

sorry, hope you have a dog

//I only clean my hands with unpasteurised organic Caerphilly//


all the above, and the vote is back to neutral: I'm feeling vindicated, justified, or at least not a total failure. I was on the fence about making this a synthetic chunk of porous urethane infused with cheese oil or doing it this way, glad I did.
-- oxen crossing, Dec 06 2009

I like the reverse better. A fingerprint stamp(s) of a seeming grease-like substance to keep people from eating your cheese.
-- leinypoo13, Dec 06 2009

random, halfbakery