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Business: Vacation
World Tour of Worlds Wars   (+7)  [vote for, against]
Reenactors on honeymoon

First start out in the Basra region of Iraq at the first war ever recorded from 2500 bce, where you and your new found friends Mitch and Debra (from Seattle) will don armor, helmets, and spears for Sumer and fake gouge Payal and her husband Deepak (from Mumbai) who are your sworn enemies from Elam.

After your enemies are vanquished, you hop on a luxury jet and fly forward in time 2000 years (and to Italy) where as a Roman you now will wield your gladius, pilium, red battle cloak and sandals for a battle against those pesky Etruscans whose two-headed axes, curved swords and daggers will clang all day long as you artfully duel your opponents.That night the wine glasses will clang as well as you look at the stars with your sweetie from a mock Etruscan guard tower.

After that travel forward another 2000 years to Mongolia for a battle between the Song Dynasty and the Jin Dynasty, where you are now perched on horse back as a wealthy member of the Jin Dynasty wielding your halberd and sabre valiantly riding toward certain death. That night, both armies spread by a half kilometer in the desert, raise their fire arrows and start an evening dance by launching the illumination for the dance floor into the night sky.

Next travel forward in time 700 years (and to France) for a battle in the WW1 trenches. Every time you pick your head up your new friend Jerry the Gerry (from Chicago) fires blanks from his trenches and this time you mock fall backwards four feet into the muck. That night there is a sweet and spicy scent of food that brings to mind lilacs (and the smell of mustard gas) that wafts through the camp, as German drinking songs are heard in all directions.

Finally, travel 90 years into the future by hopping on a plane to Kabul, Afghanistan, where upon landing you are informed by the Captain that all the people on the right side of the plane will be supplied with an M4 Carbine rifle with Rail Adapter System (RAS), vertical forward grip and ACOG sight as members of the US Army. And the people on the left side of the plane will be supplied with M16's and Stinger Missiles as members of the Taliban. Than the Captain will say "we're just kidding, open the champagne!" and the crowd will cheer as your plane lifts off. Then you and your new bride will toast your eternal love and take turns looking out at the window at the moon as you contemplate your new lives together all the way back to Detroit.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 18 2012

the Disney wedding! http://1.bp.blogspo...rld-saidaonline.jpg
[xandram, Sep 18 2012]

Yul be sorry... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070909/
[Phrontistery, Sep 20 2012]

This sounds like an expensive honeymoon.
-- DIYMatt, Sep 18 2012


Make war not love?
-- rcarty, Sep 18 2012


Suddenly... war of the roses.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 18 2012


[rcarty] Damn, you're good.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 18 2012


My first thought was "me like too".
-- rcarty, Sep 18 2012


This would be a great theme for a movie starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.
-- Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 18 2012


What if you wake up in your hotel room and you're still only in Saigon … ?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 18 2012


I like it, but on the way to Italy from Iraq, might we stop in Turkey a thousand years in between and act out the siege of Troy?
-- theleopard, Sep 18 2012


[8th] Sounds like we drugged you and took your money (Your fiancé was in on it).
-- leinypoo13, Sep 18 2012


Oh dear, just the same as last time …
-- 8th of 7, Sep 18 2012


[+] But you know they will have this soon at DisneyWorld! (don't forget your Wedding Ears)
-- xandram, Sep 18 2012


Is Detroit a part of the tour?
-- RayfordSteele, Sep 18 2012


No, Detroit is a lovely city.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 18 2012


You haven't perchance taken your meds twice today, have you … ?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 20 2012


No, I live in America. That's expensive.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 20 2012


But President Obama promised to fix all that four years ago, shirley?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 20 2012


Like the princesses boobs, promises are sometimes hazy.
-- leinypoo13, Sep 20 2012


Horribly expensive and impractical and not a little macabre. [+]
-- Voice, Sep 20 2012



random, halfbakery