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Business: Please Hold
Zany EBay Call Queue Auction   (+4, -3)  [vote for, against]
So, how much would you pay to be next in line?

Inspired in part by fogfreak's "Talk to a human service"..

Callers on hold for support tend to be on hold awhile. Not everybody has time in their day to wait this long. How would YOU like to be next in line? Well, you can be, if the price is right..

Callers on hold hear this recorded message between muzak tracks: "Thank you for choosing xxxx. Your business is imporant to us. Thank you for holding. Your estimated hold time is...2... hours. If you would like to enter the Zany EBay Call Queue Auction, press star now".


Thank you for participating in the Zany EBay Call Queue Auction. This auction repeats every 10 minutes. The winner of this auction will become the next person in line for support in the specified time slot. Please enter your credit card information after the tone, blah blah.. followed by the pound key.


The current hold time is: 2 hours. The current local time is now 1:03 PM. We are now accepting bids for the 1:10 - 1:20 PM timeslot. The current bid is $84. If you would like to make a bid, please press star. If you would like to sit this auction out and participate in the next auction, press pound. If you would like to set a reserve, press 1 now. If you would like to return to the regular hold service, press 0 and reach for the Advil.


The current bid is now $92. To bid one dollar higher, press 1. To enter a bid manually, press 2.


Please enter your bid in a whole dollar amount, followed by the pound key.


You have entered ...three....hundred....dollars.... If this is correct, press 1. If this is not correct, press 2.


Your bid has been entered. Please hold, and we will announce the winner of this auction in... six...minutes.

After 6 minutes of horrible muzak: Congratulations! You are the winner of this Zany EBay Call Queue Auction! We will bill your credit card at this time, and pending approval, you will be immediately connected with a support technician. Thank you.

Losers go back to the auction. Auction participants still retain their normal place in the queue, so consistent losers still will eventually get to talk to a support tech.

A portion of the proceeds goes to charity, why not...
-- Mr Burns, Aug 21 2002

Talk to a human service http://www.halfbake...a_20human_20service
Similar, but without the queue. [phoenix, Aug 22 2002]

bidding for greens http://www.halfbake...ding_20for_20greens
Same idea, for cars. [phoenix, Aug 22 2002]

dude.. you have WAY too much time on your hands to think this one up.. but still, i laughed, it gets a muffin.
-- raziel78, Aug 22 2002

Being that I've spent the sum total of six hours on hold waiting for ntl's tech support, I'd love to see this implemented. Croissant.

(The reason for the fault I needed help with? My modem was not plugged into my PC. And here's me with a computing degree.)
-- calum, Aug 22 2002

NTL are evil - still I'd rather not see this implemented as it would then be the customers responsibility to pay more for the service if they want a short wait as oposed to ntl having to sort themselves out...
-- RobertKidney, Aug 22 2002

You're not required to participate, it's optional. Portion of proceeds goes to charity. What more can I do with this one? This is my solution to the customers always trying to bribe our secretaries with cash to cut in front of others in the call queue.
-- Mr Burns, Aug 22 2002

random, halfbakery