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Computer: Virus
'The Dog'-virus   (+11, -1)  [vote for, against]
Because nowadays the real dog can't digest your homework anymore.

'The Dog' is a computer virus that specifically targets files likely to contain homework. Thus, kids can still claim the dog ate their homework - the virus will spread like wildfire. the virus will use heuristics to detect likely homework - bad homework can be attributed to efforts to defeat those heuristics - 'i tried to make it look less like homework'.
-- loonquawl, Apr 09 2009

Q "What would you do if you caught your dog eating your dictionary?
A "Take the words right out of its mouth"
It had to be said.
-- xenzag, Apr 09 2009

I thought the original premise to offer this "dog" as an excuse was the absence of any homework, of any form, whatsoever. Therefore the "virus" needs no actual heuristics, only perceived, or real, malicious intent. I.e. It can just destroy, or could have destroyed, any files, not necessarily "homework" files. Ergo, any particular virus will do, as long as you have proof that it, the virus, exists on your machine.
-- 4whom, Apr 09 2009

This lies somewhere in between brilliant and ridiculous. Perfectly halfbaked. +
-- blissmiss, Apr 09 2009

If one kid has her homework scrambled by '34frugle' and another has his homework deleted by 'configer01 that is one thing. But if all the kids that cannot present homework have had it eaten by The Dog, it is impressed upon the teacher that there is a truly marvellous enemy out there.

As a tutor in university i can vouch for the level of imbecility of current excuses, so the transition will only be in terms of aesthetics. 'The dog ate my homework' has much more purity to it than any bungled up coinidences involving multiple server crashes and backup corruptions.
-- loonquawl, Apr 09 2009

+ alternately, then my dog pissed on my computer.
-- xandram, Apr 09 2009

random, halfbakery