Culture: Race
air kissing for the French   (+6, -6)  [vote for, against]
99% stylish nation

I just love the French, admire their fashion, food, joie de vivre, language and literature. Oh and that accent is just so romantic. One thing lets them down, French kissing is a mess. Lets introduce them to the gentle and cultured art of air kissing to complete their image.

-- po, Dec 01 2001

isnt "Q'plah!" klingon?
-- technobadger, Dec 01 2001

yes, spelling optional
-- po, Dec 01 2001

But they smell like de toilette. Sorry po, but I have a motto: Ze French must die. Although I do enjoy Cotes de Rhone wine - geographically, the weather cooperates with good vines in the region and therefore is the most consistent in terms of producing not only quantity but quality which keeps an easily affordable and palatable wine available without concern for 'off' years. That being the case, shaved otters could produce the wine just as easily. Back to topic... The French can air kiss my ass.
-- thumbwax, Dec 01 2001

Air kissing? Is that anything like air guitar, perhaps miming the mouth motions of a pre-recorded kiss?
-- CoolerKing, Dec 01 2001

how do you 'pose' a french kiss?
-- po, Dec 01 2001

Shame on you, th'wax. The French are lovely people. I respect anyone stubborn and intransigent enough to force Disney to rename their defining character.

Air kissing, though. What's the point in that, then?
-- Guy Fox, Dec 02 2001

Whasssuuuppp! (Sorry, it's been awhile.)
-- reensure, Dec 02 2001

Speaking of Disney, I saw a special offer in a French hypermarket on the video called Blanche Neigle et les Sept Naems which, for me, translates as White Snow and the Seven Dwarfs.
-- maggie, Dec 02 2001

maggie, often (but not always, and I don't know the rule, if there is one) French adjectives follow the noun they modify (that's why Baton Rouge means "red stick"). Assuming that's the case for the video title, Blanche Neigle would in fact translate as Snow(y) White.
-- beauxeault, Dec 02 2001

I got yer Baton Blanche right here Frenchie. Oh come now, I'm being silly, though I suspect there is a reason why the wondrous Dilberts Desktop Game of Elbonian Airlines allows one to zing junior management types at balloons and France. One of the greatest games ever invented.
-- thumbwax, Dec 02 2001

kissing good.
air kissing bad.
arse kissing common.
The idea that there's anything special about french kissing is a myth. I have done more research on that than in two years of a geophysics PhD. I really don't think the French are more culturally or sexually avant-garde than any of the rest of us. In fact, I read somewhere that sociologically the French are resting on their laurels somewhat, living off this waning image of romanticism and excitement. So yes to [po]'s sentiment, the French do need some remedial training, but leave out the air kissing part. Let's not beat about the bush here. So to speak.
-- lewisgirl, Dec 03 2001

<chauvinistic francophobia> France...lovely country, good food, great culture...utterly wasted on the French. </chauvinistic francophobia>
-- DrBob, Dec 03 2001

I think you'll find that French kissing has no real connection with the French.

These things can get easily confused as shown by the French and English euphemistic terms for the condom. The English call the "French letters" and the French call them "capon anglais". There is also the curious case of American "French fries" which are remarkably dissimilar to French "pomme frites".
-- Aristotle, Dec 03 2001

I've always been interested in the fact that one does not find Vienna sausages in Vienna, french fries in France (pommes frites are admittedly similar, but not exactly), frankfurters in Frankfurt, and until relatively recently, hamburgers in Hamburg. And I'm not as sure, but I don't recall seeing Danish pastries in Denmark.
-- beauxeault, Dec 04 2001

Well, I can think only think of the French band called Air... How about Turkish Coffee? Don't you think they have that down there in Turkey?
-- T@blet, Dec 04 2001

I am a pedant in more than one language. The proper spelling of that Klingon word is "Q'apla." And connecting that with something as airy-fairy as air kissing (or for that matter, French people) is enough to make a good Klingon barf up his gagh.
-- arghblah, Dec 04 2001

[beauxeault] (a suspiciously French sounding handle, that) The rule for modifiers that come before the nouns they modify in French is B-A-N-G-S (adjectives concerning beauty, age, number, goodness and size come before). Thus "ma vielle tante," ( my elderly aunt) while "le table vert" (the green table).

I just can't figure out why "Beaujolais nouveau" is exempt from this rule, since "new" has to do with age...
-- snarfyguy, Dec 04 2001

quapla - klingon francais.
-- po, Dec 04 2001

Beaujolais nouveau; it's a faux ami, isn't it? One of the exceptions. I alwyas remember having to ask for un cahier neuf s'il vous plait madame, at school. Again, there you find the 'new' adjective after the noun.
-- lewisgirl, Dec 04 2001

The French have something called "creme anglais" which is suspiciously like custard ...
-- Aristotle, Dec 04 2001

They also have 'vacance Anglais' which is properly called 'French leave'.
-- angel, Dec 04 2001

You know, I'm sorely tempted to post "French Kissing For the Heir", but I'm sure Wills needs no lessons, and as for the immediate heir - {{{{{uuuuuugh}}}}} - the thought alone makes me nauseous.
-- Guy Fox, Dec 04 2001

<joie de vivre>? What French would this be then? French Canadians?
-- mrthingy, Jan 30 2003

you wanted to be a ditz!
-- cali, Mar 04 2003

Two words in defense of the French: Bearnaise sauce. If you've had it done right, you'll know why they should be permitted to continue to exist. Foie gras, too.
-- snarfyguy, Mar 04 2003

Je ne sais pas. I pense que ce idee est tout a fait 'bakeable', mais je pense qu'il mérite l'os d'un poisson (un -)
-- Cedar Park, Mar 05 2003

Ha! This is good, but let's just keep it at kissing. +
-- sartep, Oct 21 2004

I tried some Air French Kissing, but it turned out more like a Bronx cheer.
-- bungston, Oct 22 2004

I coodnote elp myzelff frrom rreeDing ze idea and all ze ennotashioux wizz Fransh axcenn. Zorry.

Ze problem issi zat now I cannote understen one worr.
-- pashute, Jul 28 2011

I think the real problem here is that the French are highly unlikely to adopt any custom that is not already intrinsically French.
-- Alterother, Jul 28 2011

They invented parctically every custom, [Alterother] so there really is no distinction.
-- gnomethang, Jul 28 2011

I'm reasonably certain the French did not invent, nor is there any credible historical evidence that they have ever engaged in, the custom of bathing.
-- Alterother, Jul 28 2011

Of course there is. Alterother. Everyone knows that bathing was invented by Général de Brigade Jacques Uzi of the Légion étrangère. Having first invented the sub-machine gun, he subsequently needed a thorough clean up after each blood-soaked rampage through the streets of Algiers. And so the whirlpool bath came into being.
-- DrBob, Jul 29 2011

I remember the first time I visited Paris as a young man. As my buddy who was living there drove me into town, I said "Ahh, Paris, city of lights..." and a banana hit our windshield. Of course there were low points to the trip too.

Anyway, how about air French kissing?
-- doctorremulac3, Jul 29 2011

Isn't that just sticking your tongue out at somebody?
-- Alterother, Jul 29 2011

Yea, it just hasn't been called "air French kissing" before.
-- doctorremulac3, Jul 29 2011

random, halfbakery