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Fashion: Perfume
alibi perfume   (+10, -1)  [vote for, against]
Makes you smell like you went where you were supposed to go

You tell your wife/husband/mother that you have to visit a friend in the hospital. In reality, you go to a smoke-filled bar. Alibi is a two step process. Step 1: apply the scent neutralizer to get rid of the bar odor. Step 2: Apply the alibi scent, (in this case eau de hospital) and go home. Your loved one won't even ask where you've been because you smell like you should. Other possible alibi scents: grandma's house, library, gym, garage, church, bowling alley. The possibilities are almost endless.
-- juliec2, Oct 09 2008

Case in point (Music Video, NSFW for some)
[jutta, Oct 11 2008]

Alternatively, come home smelling of Booze and Hospital so that your beloved knows that you got Pissed Up and ended up in Hospital.
More seriously [juliec2], do you have any mechanism for this to work?. Does the neutralizer work both inside and outside (e.g. clothes and breath?)
Will the user run out of Grandmas?

Wlecome BACK to the Halfbakery - (WOW! Aug 14th 2000!)
-- gnomethang, Oct 09 2008

//Administrative Analyst for a major metropolitan public library.\\ What the H does that mean???

Does this work in reverse? Can I put some scent on myself to suggest I've been with another woman? I mean in additon to eating a vagina jam sandwich or an ansjovis pizza??

I just like to keep things interesting at home without actually cheating.
-- zeno, Oct 10 2008

If you have a neutralizer that can take the smell of smoke out of clothes, you can stop there and retire. Mmrts used to play Bridge and they had separeted clothes for the purpose, because the smell never came out.

I think your only hope is masking the smell with a stronger one such as the classic dosing yourself with gasoline.

Also if you have a way of removing glitter, you could sell that by the truckload.
-- MisterQED, Oct 10 2008

Not sure this would work - I'd say a better bet would be a service which sprayed you with a different perfume every day so that your wife would come to think it entirely normal.
([gnomethang] Aug 14th 2000? - tchah! - a newbie!)
-- hippo, Oct 10 2008

//you go to a smoke-filled bar//
Are there such things anymore?
-- coprocephalous, Oct 10 2008

//exotic dancer who ensures she wears your wife's perfume//

Genius. Pure genius. You should turn that into an HB idea.

*Waggles bun* Got one waiting for it right here.
-- MikeD, Oct 11 2008

I've been around. I think I had 2 usernames on the halfbakery going for a while. If you've a discerning nose, I should smell like bar, bowling alley, Irish wake, roller derby, dance hall, paint, gutter water, underground bunker, public transportation, and donut shop. My job title changed in the intervening years. Now I'm the Publications Coordinator. Hoop tee doo.
-- juliec2, Oct 30 2008

What about the ploy when your spouse catches you coming in at 3 AM. You say, "Where the 'ell have you been, I've hit every bar in town looking for you?"
-- theGem, Oct 30 2008

random, halfbakery