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Business: Service: Personal: Emotional
mommy impersonation services   (+7, -6)  [vote for, against]

You supply a photo of your mama to the MIS Service Group, pay some money, schedule a session and then spend no holds barred time with a mommy impersonator.

The mommy impersonator acts as a stand in for your mom now you can say anything to or do anything with your mom without the risk of actually damaging your relationship. Unless you happen to pursue activities with your mom impersonator that are troubling and your real mom finds out.

You could climb a mountain with your mom impersonator or a tree, or get drunk matching tattoos, you could do all of the things that your mom just wouldn't do.
-- vfrackis, Sep 14 2010

your mommy wears combat boots http://www.youtube....Tv4&feature=related
[jaksplat, Sep 14 2010]

Haflbakery: The LORD will be with you. The LORD will be with you.
So the same as this then, only with your Mum, instead of Jesus? [zen_tom, Sep 15 2010]

Winged Monkeys http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Flying_monkeys
Monkeys, but with wings, that fly. [8th of 7, Sep 15 2010]

Rent a Mom! http://www.needamomnyc.com
:( [vfrackis, Dec 29 2015]

My first and second questions are both "why??"
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 14 2010


Hahah.... oh man. The only word that really helped make sense of the whole thing was 'troubling'.
-- daseva, Sep 14 2010


//My first and second questions are both // "huh?"

does it help if you change mommy to egyptian mummy? probably not.
-- po, Sep 14 2010


Ok, I hate being so negative, so I'm going to take another look at this.

First of all, let's get everything on the table. Would sex be ok? Also, [MB] //"why??"// He said so: "do anything with your mom without the risk of actually damaging your relationship."

Now, this is funny a bit because, why should your relationship with your mother be so delicate? If it is, any instance of her finding out about the impersonation scheme will send her reeling for the closet key with which to lock you back up. Point is, the idea is geared towards touchy mother/child relationships, but it is deliberate in trivializing the touchiness, itself, by providing a place to ignore it. The idea kills its own goals. Still negative huh... sorry.
-- daseva, Sep 14 2010


// [MB] //"why??"// He said so: "do anything with your mom without the risk of actually damaging your relationship."//

Yeah, but, that's not an answer. The deeper question is....ah, let's not go there. And your point, [das] is a good one.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 14 2010


....and she would never know, which is possibly the problem for you [vrackis]. Think of the guilt when she finds out!.
BTW, I thought that this was why the Americans invented 'shrinks'.
-- gnomethang, Sep 14 2010


how is a much better question than why in every way.
-- Voice, Sep 14 2010


Americans invented shrinks? Haha... oh dear. How? I'm of the variety that thinks psychoanalysis and modern psychotherapy stem from the tools and techniques of Freud (Not American) and his successors. If americans had any say in the matter, the concept of 'mind' would probably not even exist in any definable way. ... that is I think "american laziness" would have led the exclusion of such lofty ideas.
-- daseva, Sep 14 2010


I have not encountered a group of people anywhere with a thought process this unsettling. The best part of this idea is now that automatically sexual relations was inferred as the ultimate motive by the majority.

I was inspired by the prospect of being able to tell my mother "what for" without a combative answer or nagging debate. I contemplated interaction with an agreeable mother just for a short time. That's all Really

My relationship is not a touchy. What type of logic led to that?

Lastly I am deeply grateful that I was born a lazy American devoid of the capability of comprehending the concept of "mind". It's so crazy to think that we were able, despite our laziness to prevent Germans from liberating the English people from ugly old lady ownership.
-- vfrackis, Sep 15 2010


"Hello, yes, you're to be my mommy tonight, then? Splendid! My name? Of course! Allow me to introduce myself! Oedipus Rex. And might I say you're looking ravishing in that apron! Daddy will not be able to join us tonight, I'm afraid... Here's a lovely bun corsage for you..." [+]
-- Grogster, Sep 15 2010


don't believe everything you see on the big screen [vfrackis]
-- po, Sep 15 2010


I think I get this one. I don't think it deserves some of the comments.

To be able to practice up on a "Look, ma, you're way wrong" might not be all that bad a thing. It can't be easy to cross that line, no?

There are certainly things I wouldn't say to my mother out loud that Do rattle through my head at times.

EX: Look! Would you please shut the hell up with your Obama hate? I voted for him, Mom. I'd vote for him again tomorrow, too. So? Have you seen what's going on in Greece?
-- Zimmy, Sep 15 2010


//I have not encountered a group of people// I don't speak for the rest, thanks let's be sure.

And you're a fool to try to get off with this sort of coy sarcastic BS: //The best part of this idea is now that automatically sexual relations was inferred as the ultimate motive by the majority.// You're practically a troll, get used to it. <--- Not a majority thought, mind you.
-- daseva, Sep 15 2010


My statement was not coy or sarcastic, seemed quite direct to me.

I think I'm already used to being a partial troll D It's the almost part that's so bothersome though. Please be kind enough to let me know when I reach complete troll. Also if you think there's a way for me to turn things around I would appreciate some direction. I was thinking to have some angel wings attached to my back, do you think that would work?
-- vfrackis, Sep 15 2010


// It's the almost part that's so bothersome //

Yes, demeaning, isn't it ?

// partial troll //

You are Bill Bailey, and we claim our five dollars.

// when I reach complete troll. //

It's about the time that you start posting lideas like "Pole Pants".

// do you think that would work? //

No, it would just turn you into a Winged Monkey ...

<link>
-- 8th of 7, Sep 15 2010


Other impersonation services might include:
Hitler Impersonators - for people who'd like to say things to (a) Hitler (impersonator) that they might currently be unable to do so.
Obama Impersonators - for people who want to hang out with (a) Barak Obama (impersonator) but who are currently unable to do so.
Jan Hammer impersonators - yawn - you get the idea, people who look like, or are otherwise pretending to be other people, like actors.

So since actors aren't new, the 'idea' part of this is the commercialisation of the acting fraternity around the niche role of playing somebody else's Mum.

I think it would be a challenge making this commercially viable - perhaps it should be funded by the government?
-- zen_tom, Sep 15 2010


If they funded Grandmothers, wouldn't that be the Nanny State ?

<cymbal sting>
-- 8th of 7, Sep 15 2010


No ZT "The Lord will be with you" is an entirely different concept Jesus follows you around all of the time so that he is physically on the scene to offer an explanation for all of the sick things that happen to people.

The "mommy impersonation services" is more a self help type of thing with short sessions.

If you broke it down hourly I think you would have to pay a mom impersonator more money. A certified Jesus is a different service and would have I think lesser demand simply because he would always be with you and would have to be affordable.
-- vfrackis, Sep 15 2010


//To be able to practice up on a "Look, ma, you're way wrong"...//

So, you need someone who impersonates your mother to be able to do that? Or you think a mother-impersonator would help? Both concepts are bizarre.

And I have a very high threshold for bizarrity.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 15 2010


Trying to think who would hire this service. Norman Bates comes to mind.
-- doctorremulac3, Sep 15 2010


I say coy and sarcastic because I take you for a sufficiently intelligent individual, [vfrakis]. As such, it's coy to not address the Oedipal nature of the idea, and it's sarcastic to say that such natures are the 'best part' now, when its clear that drunk matching tattoos is the best part.

Needless to say, coyness and sarcasm are the two dominating characteristics of the demi-troll (I, myself, have made several attempts and we all do from time to time, it's a hell of a lot of fun). The troll has two further dominating characteristics: rude and ignorant. Nothing fun about that. Also, I really have no idea what I'm talking about and thanks for not deleting my drivel, yet. I stand by it at any rate.
-- daseva, Sep 15 2010


Sorry M, I'll re-write.

After reading morrison's post about Norman Bates, Norman Bates comes to mind.
-- doctorremulac3, Sep 16 2010


no
-- xandram, Sep 16 2010


my mother says NO, too
-- xandram, Sep 16 2010


"Mother doesn't get out much, these days ....."

<Scary Violin Music>
-- 8th of 7, Sep 16 2010


At last! I was ok with it [+] until I heard [xandram]'s compelling argument. Bone! [-] (I'm giving the bun corsage to her mother.)
-- Grogster, Sep 16 2010


It would seem that your mother's promiscuity has again caused her to turn up here on the 'bakery.

Beer soaked and very very much impersonated.
-- xxobot, Sep 17 2010


Can I get someone to impersonate your mother instead of mine?
-- zeno, Sep 17 2010


Or one of those darned bullies at school?
-- xxobot, Sep 27 2010


I should probably stop posting ideas here for free. See link: rent a mon
-- vfrackis, Dec 29 2015


As for the eighth anno above, I don't seem to have written anything at all, let alone Batesian.

The plot is lost. Or I have a ghost writer I didn't know about?
-- not_morrison_rm, Dec 30 2015



random, halfbakery