Ever since I was a young girl
I’ve played the silver ball
From Tooting down to Brighton
I must have played them all
But I ain’t seen nothing like it
In any High Street Mall
That squeaky four-wheeled trolley
Sure… plays… a mean pinball

Its a pinball trolley
There’s gotta be a twist
It’s a pinball trolley
so I didn’t hurt my wrist

park the car, prepare to play…

by inserting a coin in the slot to release your trolley, it is propelled into play by a spring-loaded rod and will begin to career down the first aisle past the newspapers and magazines.
be quick, collect your groceries as the trolley picks up momentum down the six and a half degree slope.

the shop floors are designed to allow the trolleys to slow up a bit when you require time to say - choose a best cut of meat and then it picks up speed on the easier stretches.

at each end of every aisle on either side and other especially hard-to-push spots are active throbbing bumpers that will, with accompanying sounds of bells and whistles and that little crackly noise that electric fly zappers make, thrust the trolley off in the desired direction - with a little practice, that is.

as you continue to cruise around the store and banging your weekly shop into more flashing bumpers and targets, they will project stunning technicolour images on the floor, ceiling or walls, possibly garish adverts or special offers or fun stuff like a cream cake sploshing into Jamie Oliver’s face.

<flash> buy one – get one free </f>

big scoring customers may receive prizes at the check-out & shoplifters can be unceremoniously returned to the shop floor by the big flippers at the exit.
-- po, Apr 01 2006

Rude! (+)
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Apr 02 2006


Tilt! [+]
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 02 2006


Ga-doing ga-doing, kerplunk. Awww...

Extra trolley! [+]
-- nth, Apr 02 2006


Pommy? Roger Daltrey, Pah!

I can see it now, light-studded pigeon above the word "Po" - There'll be a film, then a religion! Po! Po! Po!

(Bags I'm "Uncle Dub" Fiddle about!, Fiddle about!)

I've e-mailed a suggestion to Sainsbury's already, BTW.
-- Dub, Apr 02 2006


;)
-- po, Apr 04 2006



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