Science: Health: Pain
rub yourself up the wrong way   (+1)  [vote for, against]
gloves that enable you to massage your own neck.

need a neckrub and there is no-one around or at least no-one that you trust to put their grubby little fists around your vulnerable throat?

imagine if you will large Mickey Mouse hands (well, not quite so large) with nice fat firm solid fingers. Your own hands slide into the gloves in quite the opposite way to the norm and when in the glove, you can manipulate the fingers in much the manner of a glove puppet.

“that’s the way to do it – Mr Punch” <thwack> “take that, you stoopid Judy” <thwack><waves a chain of sausages><punches the policeman>

oh… I am sorry…, where was I? oh yes, and so with these gloves on, you put your hands on the matching shoulders and soothe all those nasty little aches and pains away. nice smelling rubbing oils are optional of course.
-- po, May 21 2003

Sharper Image made its early name with massage devices of all types http://www.sharperi...&pcatid=3&catid=304
Haven't tried this one myself, though. [DrCurry]

Haven't tried this one either http://www.sharperi...&amp;pcatid=3&amp;catid=305

Nor have I tried this one http://www.sharperi...&amp;pcatid=3&amp;catid=304
...which really looks like it was designed for something else. [DrCurry]

I prefer the wooden kind [DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Haven't tried this one either http://www.sharperi...&pcatid=3&catid=305
[DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Nor have I tried this one http://www.sharperi...&pcatid=3&catid=304
...which really looks like it was designed for something else. [DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

I prefer the wooden kind
[DrCurry, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Not the idea, but
they're a long way up to be the up the wrong way. [Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

They don't have Sharper Image in Britain, do they? They may not do massage gloves, but they have an extensive line of neck massagers.
-- DrCurry, May 21 2003

We have Richer Sounds, though it's more dedicated to home entertainment - the one at London Bridge has, according to Guinness, the highest sales per square foot of floor space in the world.
-- friendlyfire, May 21 2003

those first three look a little rough. I want something more gentle. that last one is for the back.
-- po, May 21 2003

<creepy pervert voice> Don't like it a little rough, eh? <creepy pervert voice>
-- goober, May 21 2003

Snakes give a good massage. Put one on your bare shoulders/neck - don't try it with a large boa constrictor though.
-- thumbwax, May 21 2003

how do you know its a boa?

is the boa a goer?
-- po, May 21 2003

now I am rattled.
-- po, May 21 2003

I feel constricted....let's stop this now!
-- goober, May 21 2003

you are holding your neck far too tightly my dear, hey let me squeeze it for you. tighter. tighter.

OK Officer I will stop now - he was murdering my idea.
-- po, May 21 2003

Man, could I use one of these right about now. (+)
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 22 2003

I *much* prefer rubbing myself up the right way.
-- squeak, May 22 2003

you'll break out in acne, mark my words [squeak]
-- po, May 22 2003

hairs on the palms - eewww!

running out of semen - now there's a worry...

nose doubling in length - not sure I believe that one.
-- po, May 22 2003

leads to obsessive halfbaking - Hmmmm....
-- snarfyguy, May 22 2003

random, halfbakery