Product: Weapon: Blade
whiskey sword cane   (+14, -1)  [vote for, against]
for lame, swashbuckling drunks and everyone else

Simply combines two useful accessories: the cane with a hidden sword on the end, and the cane with a hidden whiskey flask in the handle. When pressed to defend your honor, you never know when some Dutch courage may be necessary. A long flexible straw would allow drinking *while* fencing.

On the other hand, the "Derringer flask" should not be invented, because it has no style and you would just shoot your nose off.
-- hob, Aug 05 2001

Walking-stick-periscope-seat http://l2.espacenet...D=GB+++1085924A++I+
PDF docs. [Dog Ed]

thanks to Steve for the tobacco. [Dog Ed, Aug 05 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

thanks to Steve for the tobacco. [hob, Aug 05 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Just wanted to note that the first positive vote was mine, for the amusing visual of 'shoot your nose off'.
-- StarChaser, Aug 05 2001

a *very* long flexible straw. ha ha.

drinking while fencing is another excellent visual.
-- romy, Aug 05 2001

What StarChaser and romy said. A Brit once patented a walking stick which doubles as a periscope (for peering over hedges?) and has a fold-down seat on one end. hob's Happytime Whisky Sword Cane holds a 2 liters of drink but only has a 3-inch blade; the Serious Dueller model holds only 100 cc but contains a rapier.

[Addendum, for StarChaser: The patent drawing makes the device look awfully, er, bulky for proctological purposes. Take a gander--I'll put up a link to the patent and you can call up the drawing if the link to the European patent server works...if it doesn't, here are the vital stats:

Patent Number: GB1085924
Publication date: 1967-10-04

I don't know what to make of it, myself.]
-- Dog Ed, Aug 05 2001

'a fold down seat' and 'a periscope'. For do it yourself proctology?
-- StarChaser, Aug 05 2001

It's a stickmoidascope
-- thumbwax, Aug 05 2001

Sorry, but the sword-stick with built-in hip-flask is baked. No link, but my father has one, made c 1900.
-- angel, Aug 06 2001

<grins> Wouldn't use a periscope for it anyway...I like thumbwax's name, though.
-- StarChaser, Aug 06 2001

'a fold down seat' and 'a periscope': sounds like it's meant for bird-watching. (Note to UK customers: maybe those kind of birds too.)
-- protean, Aug 07 2001

Perfect! Great idea. Just before your throat is going to be slit by a would be opponent, you can a) offer him a drink of some fine irish whisky b) have you last drink c) lace the whisky with poision and kill your self before he kills you d) trick your opponent into drink poison laced whisky
-- troy2, Jun 28 2002

Fine irish whiskey is not already poison?
-- ye_river_xiv, Nov 03 2006

random, halfbakery