I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate.
I saw an aged aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
"Who are you, aged man?" I said,
"And how is it you live?"
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.

He said, "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread—
A trifle; if you please."

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, "I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland's Macassar-Oil—
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."

But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue:
"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"

He said, "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of hansom-cabs.
And that's the way" (he gave a wink)
"By which I get my wealth—
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's noble health."

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.

And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know—
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo—
That summer evening long ago
A-sitting on a gate.

wrezzzad@ucsd.edu remove those 3 zs, or wrezzzad will get your mail.

[Oct 01 2002, last modified May 18 2007]

10,000 sided dice (+21, -8)
3D Ghost TV (-1)
Accordion toilet seat sleeve (-1)
Acrobat Accretion Superhero (+10)
Adapt the HB engine (+3, -1)
Adhesive Pimplebaker (+3, -1)
Adopt a tank (+5, -1)
Advertisement casino (+3, -1)
Aerial Aura Photography (+1, -1)
Affirmative action for the obese (+2, -7)
Aikido Cologne (+9)
Airdrop Fireworks (-1)
All-Button Dress (+14, -4)
All purpose Add-on Dixie Cup Genitals (+8, -3)
All wind Depeche Mode cover band (+4, -4)
Allergen pacifier (+3, -1)
Aluminum can shingle (+10, -2)
Aluminum tongue stud (-2)
Amateur scriptwriting (+1, -1)
American Goodwill Family Photos (+8, -5)
Anal valve device (-1)
Angle cut book pages (+14, -3)
Animatronic cell phone (+1, -1)
Anonymous doppelganger database (-1)
Antibiotics: back to the well. (+1, -1)
Antioxytocin (+2)
Any-ammo Minigun (+12, -4)
Aortic pulse rocking mattress (+5)
Artificial Urban Forest (+6, -5)
Astrologonomy (+4, -1)
Atlantic 1000 Hair Bodifying Spray (+6, -5)
Autoharp Beer (0)
Automobile Asphalt Harvester (+8, -7)
Baby Belly Bed (+6)
Baby Name Cultural Indicator (+1)
Baby seat harness adaptation (+1)
Bacardi mothball emergency fuel kit. (+6, -2)
Backseat child harness (0)
Bagbong (+15, -1)
Balanced bowling ball sculpture. (+4)
Ball Lightning Wine (+5)
Balloon Archery Skeet (+20, -1)
Bank bone marrow from organ donors (+8)
Banked body shots (+9, -1)
Basement kit (0)
Batting average (+1)
Be the Flywheel (+9, -1)
Beanball (+2)
Beautiful Ultimate Athletes (+2, -6)
Bedbugs: be the bait (+2)
Beer Bottle Lawn Darts (+5)
Ben Hur Skateboard Hubcaps (+13)
Bendy cig (+7, -7)
Bernoulli Nose Blower (+5)
Better hemoglobins for legumes (+5)
Big Bob Car Dog (+1)
Big Oed Electronic Dict (-1)
Big Pocket Pants (+2, -2)
Biologic Cultural Warfare (0)
Black rubber hubcaps (+5)
Blood doping for students (+2)
Bloodco (+2)
Blownose Buddy (+1)
Blue Caricature (+6, -2)
Body charge bug zapper (+2, -2)
Boiling fountain skyscraper sculpture (+18)
Bomb the ocean floor (+8, -13)
Bone Saw Nail Cutter (+2, -1)
Book recommendations (+1)
Booze buster pills (+1, -1)
Bouncing Bug Bulb (+8, -1)
Bowl-spanning Rubber Dung (+5, -1)
Bowling atlatl (+4, -2)
Bright Vision Goggles (+8)
Brown Recluse Control (+3, -3)
Bruise tattoo (+8)
Brush tip felt tip. (+13)
Bullet-tipped arrow. (+3, -6)
Bumtarp (+1)
Bung Lung (+1)
Burnable Brass Brush (+8)
Burner timers (+4, -2)
Butterfly Cell Phone (+4)
Buy out the Gazans (+5, -7)
Cadaver WetVac (+5, -7)
Californada (+2)
Cancer fighting Cancer (0)
Cannon seeder (+7)
Car DNA (+1)
Carbon sequestration via plastic (+5, -3)
Cash transfer machine (+2, -1)
Casting with bow and arrow (+18)
Castor cane (-1)
Cede Southern Lebanon to Syria (+3, -5)
Celebrity Sperm Racing (+13, -1)
Cell tower watch (+5, -2)
Cemetery Playground (+38, -5)
Charcoal enriched fields (+10)
Cheap water Irradiation (0)
Cherry Picking Channel (+3, -1)
Chili-specific pepper spray. (+10, -1)
Christmas Tree Roots (+2)
Cinch tool (0)
Citizen Car Boot (+1, -3)
Clathrate Bomb (+3, -3)
Climbing wall art (+7)
Clip-on SUV shell (+2, -1)
Clock icon for powerpoint (+5, -2)
Clockwork Parade Horse (+7)
Clown Bicycles (+3)
Coin Charity High Scores (+2)
Collapsible Motorcycle Helmet (+2, -1)
Colorized Disney Classics (+2, -5)
Combination taser / defibrillator (+11)
Command and Conquer: World War Z (+5)
Commensal computer virus (0)
Communicate with Bloop (0)
Compressed air water cannon (+6, -1)
Compressed water weedwhacker (+10, -2)
Computer genetic diversity (0)
Concentric coins (+1)
Concert as play and the new cultural evolution. (-1)
Connected racing bikes (+2, -1)
Cool hand pointer (0)
Copper coated car tires (+29)
Cord Corliolis Countermeasure (0)
County drug laws (0)
Create gasoline from natural gas. (+2, -9)
Crow Music (0)
Crow trash collectors (+6, -1)
Cull coin display (+6)
Cure receding gums (0)
Custom edit DVD using the player (+4)
Custom faces for flash animation (+1)
Custom Movie Still Posters (+6)
CWHCO training. (0)
Dagger thumbtack (+12, -1)
Daiquiri Cryonics (+5)
Dance Prevention (+1)
Dark monocle (+2)
Darken the sky (+11, -4)
Darwin's HalfBakery (-1)
Dates on paper clips (+32, -1)
DC powered street scooters (+6, -1)
Dead Zone Remediation (0)
Degreaser dip (0)
Dehumidifying Antifire (-1)
Demercurize the Whales (+1)
Deploy Beetle Bailey (+2, -2)
Depot Fluoride (+1, -2)
Desktop Electrostatic Motor (0)
Dialysis buddy (+2)
Diamond ring mail. (+8, -1)
Diaper lawns (0)
Diaper life gauge (+4, -3)
Diaperbake (-1)
Direct to speakerphone (+2)
Directional wine glass destructor (+5)
Dirty Work Clothes Exhibit (+30)
DiscoBall CD Storage (+2)
Distributed Chinese Filter Busting (+7)
Dive Shop Chimes (0)
Divine Interloper (+4, -3)
Dodecablade (0)
Dog Beer (+1)
Dog goggles (+1, -1)
Dog Pee Attenuator (+1, -1)
Dolphin Sex Toys (+5, -2)
Drain maggots (+1)
Driftnet weights (0)
Drive from the sidecar (+1, -2)
Drybags (0)
Drywall: stinky when moist (+6)
Duckling Ammo Shotgun (+35, -1)
Duelling sign flippers (+2)
Dung Control Beetles (+1)
Dungboiler! (+2)
Easier 3d display (0)
Eau de Boss Dog (0)
EcoSink (+1)
Ecstasy, not ECT (+4)
EEG Biofeedback Kit (0)
Electrical field glow jewelry (+7, -1)
Electrical outlet museum (+1)
Electrical prostatism aid (+3, -1)
Electrified screens (+2, -1)
Electrostatic flat indicator (-2)
Elevator Overrider (0)
Eliminate P (-7)
Embryo colonists (+4, -1)
Energy Diet device for household appliances. (-2)
Enrich fields with recycled paper (+5, -1)
Epilepticar (+6, -1)
Exhaust accordion (0)
Expanding foam to fill bike tires (+6, -3)
Extra long golf club (-2)
Extreme Hoppity Hop (+4)
Extrusible Bumper Goo (+6, -1)
Eye bezels (+6)
Eye braces (0)
Eyemakeup temporary tattoos (+6, -1)
Eyepressure Video (+6)
Fake Bluetooth Hearing Aid (+14, -1)
Fake Body Piercing (+4)
Fake Booger (-7)
Fake Fake Hair Candy (+8, -5)
Fake Hairy Mole Jewelry (+3, -2)
Fake Mom Breath SIDS prevention (+9)
Fake rubber ass (+4, -6)
Fake Tan Pen (0)
Fake Wireless Fun (+12, -4)
Fall preventing wallpaper (0)
Falling wrench organ fountain (+11)
Far Orbit Asteroid Defense Network. (-3)
Faraday Fabric (+4)
Fart Infusion (0)
Fetophone (0)
Filtered virtual web via Google cache. (+1, -4)
Fingercot noisemaker (+4, -1)
Firefighting bombs (+5)
Fireproof Housedrape (+7)
Fixed bar swing (+3, -1)
Flame antenna (+9)
Flash Paper Bag of Urine (+6, -7)
Flasher / Mooner License (+9, -4)
Flat plane pencil sharpener (+16)
Flavaflem (+7, -6)
Flea MagnoCat (+1)
Floor grate in front of toilet (+6, -1)
Flower grenade (+7)
Fluoridate kid drinks (-2)
Fluorometric tooth monitoring (0)
Fly eye water lens (+6, -1)
Flypaper Machine (+8)
Foam Bomb Fire Escapes (+11, -1)
Focusing curtain (+1)
Fork in Plug game (+9, -1)
Forseth Scrabble (+2, -4)
Fossil fuels without CO2 (-4)
Front 'n Center Holster (+1, -1)
Frycubes (+5)
Full body bandolier. (+3)
Full Metal Wallet (+2)
Funnel chair (0)
Fuse the Sahara (+12, -8)
Gas bomb car stopper (+3, -5)
Gas odorant (+2)
Gasoline toilet (+4, -5)
Gasoline wiper fluid (+7, -9)
Gaswash (0)
Geiger gas (+6)
Generic Oral Rehydration Salts (+2)
Genetic info database (+2, -1)
Glasses mounted parabolic ear trumpets (+17)
Glue on glasses jewels (+3)
GMO Ocean Mineral Harvest (+2)
Go Diego Go: The Live Action Movie (+3, -1)
Gobstopper Cigarette (+1, -1)
Google Earth Artillery (+38, -1)
Gorillas for Molokai (+2)
Gourmet Grill Wood (+7)
Granny Cam (0)
Gravitational engine (+1, -5)
Gust of wind asteroid diverter (+6, -4)
Gyroscopic antigravity (-1)
Hair qua Beard (-2)
Hair scrounge mouse (0)
Hair Strong Soap (+3)
Hair Tug of War (+5, -1)
Hairclamp Hat (+7, -1)
Half-rhinestone blemish dressing (+8, -2)
Ham radio wireless networking (+3)
Hamsterball Robot Battle (+9)
Handicapped toilet (+1)
Hark at the Moon (+2, -1)
Harness the Rant (+1)
Harrison Bergeron Concentration Aid (0)
Harvest the Earthquake (0)
Haunted particle accelerator (-1)
Headrest Wig (0)
Health insurance genetic discount (+1, -4)
Heisenberg's OCD Aide (+1)
Helmet pomade (+3, -1)
Hepatic encephalopathy treatment (0)
Heterosexual Camp (+9, -27)
High Pressure Air Dry Cleaning (0)
Highway to Hell (+2, -1)
HLA type all donated blood (+2)
Holiday Shadow Mobiles (+1, -1)
Home Solar Charcoal Distiller (+11)
Homemade Leaf Blower Jetpack (+2, -6)
Honk Lock (0)
Hose Water. (+4)
"How do they look" image service (+2, -1)
Hum rings (0)
Human Eugenics (+1, -1)
Hurricane Diverter (-1)
Ice erecting road nipples (0)
ICU Octopus (+2)
Improve Cane Toad Predators (+2, -2)
Improved spermatogenesis (+1)
In character advertisements (+2)
Incontipants (+7, -3)
Incremental Liver Transplant (+6)
Instant path (+2)
Insulin acupuncture (+9, -2)
Insurance database (0)
Internal flame hydrogen balloon (+3)
Internet Voice of America (+3, -3)
Ion cannon (0)
Ionic Gas Balloon (+4)
Irradiated queen (+1)
Iterative laser strobe (+6, -2)
J.E.T.T. (0)
Jesus Policy Forum (+6, -6)
Jet Ski Watergun (0)
Jiggle mounted jewels (+9, -2)
Jihad spam (+5, -3)
John Henry Stapler (+8)
Judas Roach (+1)
Kauai chickens (0)
Keyboard macro buttons (+1)
Keyboard Music Java (KMJ) (+1)
Kidapult (+3)
Kiddie Mower (+2)
Kitemill (+6)
Lactation weight loss (+1, -1)
Lake Death Valley (+6, -2)
Lake Megaswing (0)
Landscape DVD (+6, -1)
Lawn Lotion (+5)
Lawnbake (0)
Leafblower Paintball Gun (+5, -2)
leafblower vortex attachment (+1)
License coin makers (+2, -3)
Light activated robot vermin (+9)
Lightpotty (0)
Line Item Deletion (+1, -7)
Lint identity kit (+1)
Lipstick technology diaper cream (+2, -1)
Liquid Crystal Contacts (+13, -2)
Living Lemon Battery Tree (+6)
Locklets of Love (+4, -5)
Long shooting can adaptor heads (+2)
Long tieable shirttails (+5)
Looping toroidal phonograph record (+5)
Looverhead CD store (0)
Magnetic flames (0)
Make December the shortest month. (+2, -8)
Make Fire with Your Own Fat (+18, -5)
Malassezia sunscreen for constitutionally photosensitive (+2)
Manboob Buster (0)
Many Worms Mescal (+1, -2)
Map snoop site (0)
Mapparium: the CD Rom (+1)
Marker Keeper (+5)
Mass Political Asylum for Gay Iranians (+8, -6)
Mass Spec Fingerprinting (0)
Meat Mulch (+3, -2)
Meat Tenderizer (0)
Mega worm bin (+21)
Memory stick Death Star (+31, -2)
Metal timestamp watch (+3)
Microtome Meats (+14)
Microwave furniture steriliser (+2, -2)
Microwave magnet (+1)
Military weapon case qua backpack (+1, -1)
Milk flavoring (+1)
Mineral butter (+2)
Minimal volume drum head (+6, -1)
Modern Tap Dance (+8)
Mold sniffing dogs (+1, -2)
Mole arrangement (0)
Money Mods (0)
Moneymaking ways to use supermarket receipts (+1, -1)
Monster catcher (+2)
Monster Tire Jambuster (+3, -4)
Moon VLO Device (+4, -1)
More dramatic range for second person shooter games. (+1, -3)
More Family Vinyl Decals (+12, -1)
Mortal Humpbat (+3, -4)
Motion sensing sprinklers (0)
Motorcycle infant seat (+4, -2)
Motorfancycle (+1, -1)
Mousse Extruding Comb (+8)
Movie stick (+1)
Mowed maze (0)
Multi-tiered foldout platter (+4)
Multidimensional bone stereo (+3)
Muscular Dystrophy Exoskeleton (+2)
Mushbulb (+5)
Mycroft Society (+7, -5)
Mylar Burnoose (-3)
Nail fungus cure (+2)
Nailshroom (0)
Naked flame pool heater (+17, -6)
Nanoparticle titanium sunscreen (+1, -3)
Nasal stent (0)
National Guard Port Security (-3)
Nessie location device (0)
Nitrogen breasts (+2)
Nitroglycerine tampons (+5)
Nitrous cream soda (+3, -1)
No cell phone dead areas (+2, -4)
No-electricity air conditioner. (+2, -2)
No frame big screen TV (+1, -2)
No stop signs for motorcycles (+2, -5)
No-tar cigarettes (+1, -4)
Noise Cancelling Voice Amplifier (0)
None-derwear (+13, -1)
Nonlethal home defense (-1)
Nonviolent ant trap (0)
Nose-shaped liquid soap dispenser (+15, -1)
Nuclear winter vs greenhouse effect (+3, -1)
Nude Detainee Cheerleading Interrogation (+19, -14)
Nuke Mars (+9, -2)
Null phone (+3, -2)
NYC foot ferry (0)
Nylon Medals (+1)
Ocean diaper (0)
Old Food Scavenger Hunt (+2)
Online Furniture Rearrangement (+5, -1)
Open Carry Pants (+2)
Opinion polls for jurors (+16)
Pacifier Light (+1)
Pager holding Spider (+7)
Paintball Waterloo Re-Enactment (+3, -2)
Paraffin dog treats (+2, -2)
PDF powerpoint condenser (+2, -3)
Perfect poop pill (+7, -3)
Perfume Depot (0)
Perfume Magic Markers (+5, -2)
Peripheral Psychedelics (+5)
Permaflash (+2, -4)
Permaglow (0)
Perpetual Motion Machine (+11, -4)
Perpetual rocket top (0)
Persona Obfuscation (+3, -3)
Phone sex AI (0)
Phonecam translation (0)
Phoneticize all languages using the Internet (0)
Pierced Sac (0)
Pig Arabic (-2)
Pillbox toothbrush caddy (+9)
Pirate repelling gas (+7, -4)
Pit Stop Makeover (+14)
Plant immunity (+2)
Plasma Rail Railgun (+9)
Platonic African Kibbutz (0)
Pneumatic DungGun (+7, -3)
Pneumatic trebuchet (+2)
Political Baywatch (0)
Poopgarrotte (+13, -2)
Pop Rocks of Love (0)
Popproof Paper Bubbloon (0)
Pothole quickfix kit (+3)
Potty Bong Air Filter (+6)
Power duster (0)
Power Rangers: The Musical (+11, -10)
Power Whack A Mole (+14)
Prerolled cig papers (0)
Press-on graffiti art (+8, -1)
Pressurized flower greener (+2, -3)
Pretattooed Undergarb (+6)
Princess Tiara Sunglasses (+11)
Pruning Ammo (+7)
Pubic Hair Beads (+22, -3)
Pubic Hair Sticker (+1)
Public Access Phone Reminders (+3)
Puzzle Putty (+11)
Pyramidal Lego (+4, -1)
Pyramidal Protest Parasol (+12)
Pyrolithotrophs (+3)
Quack button (+4)
Radio GNAW (0)
Radioactive beta cream (-1)
Radiolabel the Martians (+1)
RailBlunderBuss (+7)
Random Image Gin (0)
Random Image Screensaver (+19)
Ransom note font scrambler (+12, -2)
Rapid CD transfer device (+1)
Reactive hard hat (+4, -1)
Recircumcision for added STD prevention (+1, -10)
Recycled starlet dress ties (+3)
Red heat pencil sharpener (+4)
Red light veinfinder (+8)
Remake Star Trek (+6, -12)
Resistance underwear (+2)
Reversed 2-pattern tie (+9)
Ring adaptor (+2, -1)
Ringbacked Rubber Gloves (+4)
Riot Floats (+3, -2)
Roadkill refinery (+17)
Robber Width Estimator (+3, -2)
Robot Radio Jukebox (0)
Roller heels (+5, -1)
Rollermote (0)
Rolling fresnel sidewalk weeder (+11)
Rotary wiper (0)
Rotating skateboard pipe (+2)
Rubberized Dog Claw Polish (+10)
Russian Easter Egg Ammunition (+6, -1)
Rusty Car (+31, -1)
Sand tablets (+12, -2)
Sandal destinker (+1)
Sarin Sweat Lodge (+2, -6)
Satellite hunting (+8, -2)
Saucegun (+5, -1)
Save the Desert Tortoise with fake tortoises. (+4)
Savory flavored dishwashing soap (+3, -2)
Screenclean Flamethrower (+11, -1)
Scrotal Fortification (+3, -3)
Second social security number (+1, -2)
Seizure site (0)
Self extinguishing cigarettes. (-1)
Seminal vesicle implants (+3, -4)
Septic tank wicks (-1)
Sequester CO2 in the oceanic dead zones (+3, -4)
Set a thief to catch a thief (+2)
Sheet magnets (+2)
Shittoon (+8)
Shiva watch (+4, -1)
Shock bell (+1)
Shotguns in space (+9, -3)
Shower water salvager (+3)
Shrunken Santa Head (+13, -1)
Siallogenic cat treats (+1)
Sickle Cell Treatment (0)
Siegebreaker balloon (+4, -1)
Silver coins, not gift cards (+7)
Sing your Social Security (+4, -1)
Single frequency growlight (+2)
Singspoiler (0)
Skinsecticide (+1)
Sliding scale plane seats (+3)
Sliding tile wall calendar (+2)
Slope Floor House (0)
Smartplugs! (+7, -1)
Snuff puff lighter (0)
Sobering sluice (+12)
Soccer headbounce technique (+1, -7)
SodModule 2003 (0)
Soft Sculpture Nards (+3)
Solar forged swimming pool (+11, -1)
Solid antimicrobial fixtures (0)
Sorority Junkyard Wars (0)
Space shout (+6, -4)
Spam apples of discord. (-1)
Spark brake (+13)
Spark rifle (+8)
Specialty Cocktail Wiener Variety Pack (+4)
Spidercake (+2, -2)
Sponge sterilizer (+1)
Spray facilitator champagne attachment (+3, -2)
Spray on stubble (+12, -4)
Spreadfighter chair (0)
Spring loaded TP roll (+2)
Stadium electroshock Marco Polo (+6, -2)
Standing Wave Bead Chain Ornament (+4)
Stapler Duel (+4, -1)
State health insurance plans compete with private insurance (+1, -1)
Stationary hot air balloon-borne platforms (+18, -1)
Steering wheel grip tape (+6, -1)
Stinkflowers (0)
Storm sewer cisterns. (+3)
Street-to-Mountain Tire Conversion (+6, -1)
Study cancer prevention in pet animals (+3, -1)
Stump Shaker (+3, -2)
Subliminal confetti advertising (+4)
Subway guard rail (+5)
Sun tsu brake (+9, -6)
Superball Collectors! (+2, -2)
Superball shoes (+10)
Supercolony countermeasure (0)
Superconducting railgun projectile (+3, -2)
Supersimple reverse osmosis (+20, -3)
Surf with a stranger (+8, -1)
Taser touch football (+7)
Tax Deductable HB (-1)
Tax Internet Porn (+4, -13)
Tellytubby Morlocks (+11, -1)
Temporary ball bearings (0)
Temporary credit cards (-1)
Term Limits For All (+2, -3)
Tesla Heavy (+1, -4)
THC insecticide (0)
The Achilles Strain (+1)
The body odor genome project (+2)
The Changeling (+7, -1)
The cock punch cartoon show (+7, -2)
The Pirate King of Somalia (+12, -1)
Therapeutic tattoo (0)
Therapeutic Ticks (0)
Thermite dry ice rocket (+6, -1)
Thorny catnip (0)
Threadnuts (+1)
Three Gay Stooges (+2, -5)
Tiger painting (+1)
Tinnitus cure (+10, -1)
Tire Fur (+9, -1)
Tire Magnoguard (+1)
Tire whistlepig (+8, -1)
Toddler cage (0)
Toddler tats (+8, -2)
Toilet Overflow Dam (+7)
Toilet seat microphone (+17)
Toilet spray jet modification (+1, -2)
Tooth Puller (+10, -1)
Total gut condom (+3, -2)
TP hybrid (0)
Traffic tattler database (0)
Transposons vs Cancer (+3)
Tree Booze (+8, -3)
Triclosan Tide (+1, -1)
Tumbleweed trees (+3)
Tump Baby (0)
Tuned shotguns (+8)
Tuning Fork Vibrator (+13, -1)
Two-mouse computer fencing game (+9)
Ultraviolet augmented cooking (+1)
Underground Methane Farm (+3, -1)
Unusably Huge Caliber Pistol (+13)
Unused fiberoptic solar power (+5, -8)
Urinary polymer (0)
Use the HB to understand Google (+1, -1)
UV penlight (0)
VacuuKettle (+1, -2)
Vacuum kernel hose ladder. (+1)
Vaporator airflow smoother (0)
Varicella vaccine causes childhood obesity (+1, -4)
Vegan Hair (+1, -4)
Vent the Atmosphere (+4, -6)
Vet Smell (0)
Vibrating shovel attachment (+28, -1)
Vibrating Toilet Plunger (+4)
Vibration lubrication machine (+2)
Video AI Therapist (+3)
Video sign language text translator (+1)
Violet brake lights (+10)
Violet skinnies (0)
Viscoseal (0)
Vitiligo vs. Melanoma (+3)
Volcano nozzle (0)
"Vote of No Confidence" gun control. (+8, -12)
Warttoo (+5, -2)
Water circuit sprinkler freeze prevention (+4, -1)
Water Fireworks (+13)
Water Fountain Flow Diverter (+2)
Wax Dredlocks (+1, -1)
Weight loss shopping service (+2)
Wheelchair IV rack (+3, -2)
Whoopee valve (+3)
Wiki Distributed Translation (+9, -2)
Wildbirth! (+2, -1)
Window rolls (0)
Windshield Exhaust Diverter (+1)
Windup windmill Buddy (+3, -1)
Word Macro Evolution Simulation (+11)
Xenon Breathers (+5)
Yin and yang paperclip (+15, -1)
Zombie chase game (+5)
Zombie deodorant (+15, -1)
Zombie Paintball (+20, -1)
Zoo Action Perfume (+11, -5)

halfbakery