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"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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Sometimes I check my watch at twelve and wonder if it needs to be set.
So I told my friend that if you put an egg in the microwave it'd explode, so she did and her house smelled like cooked egg for hours.
The worst dream I ever had was ten seconds long: I got up, walked to the bathroom, picked up my toothbrush, unscrewed the toothpaste cap, and dropped it down the sink. Piss.
Once I tried brushing my tongue because I heard it was good for you. I gagged and coughed acid all over my teeth.
So this one time I was drinking a glass of milk and my sister made me laugh and it came out of my nose back into the glass and I drank it a second time.
(Some things I remember).
[Sep 10 2010, last modified Sep 14 2010]