Culture: Website: Social Network
Idiot shield   (+2, -3)  [vote for, against]
N is going ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!lets shake the bums and dance like baboons in glass cages!!!!

Yes, it is true. This is a real status post on facebook.

I go on fb frequently. In many fb niches, some stimulating notes are posted.

Unfortunately, my contacts of low intelligence post statuses like the one shown above. These people do occasionally post interesting things, but more often than not they post //EMA PEMAPEMAPEMAPEMAPEMAPEMAPEMAPEMA//

I would like them to have the option available to them that allows them to categorise their statuses (ie. social, work, sport...), so that I can choose which statuses I will receive and don't have to black them out completely.

As I am typing this, someone in Singapore has just informed me that they //want a cupcake yum yum yum//.
-- danman, Aug 04 2009

Facebook could use the same kind of, although not entirely reliable, content detection used by spam filters to allow the optional blocking of complete nonsense. []
-- Aristotle, Aug 04 2009

This is funny, but the idea wouldn't work because, with all other options the teeming hordes are presented with, the average user will find it hilarious to post updates in pseudo-ironically incorrect categories.

Sport: I av done eaten WALLA WALLA Moooooonster MUNCH!!!!1 Gissme a GOLD M EDAL.

Far superior would be to either cut yourself off from these mindless proles altogether (as you will come to find that those that write messages of that ilk will seldom deviate from tedious mind-sicks) or if you genuinely care for these brain-dead mopes, simply have an option to turn off their specific updates.

This entire concept of "status updatery" is utterly incomprehensible to me anyway. What, in sweet Jesus' name, do I care what someone else, who is clearly far less important than me, is doing at every single moment that they feel like sharing their lives of crushing mundanity?

It's all heading to a social apocalypse where no one is able to speak to anyone in person, constantly tells everyone they are still at home on the computer, and are not out in the world, making friends, earning money or mating with other spaz-cakes for the furtherment of the human race.

That's wot I finks any road.
-- theleopard, Aug 04 2009

[theleopard] Reference: "The Naked Sun" by Asimov.
-- Aristotle, Aug 04 2009

Eery, [Aristotle], that Asimov predicted this social seclusion at the hands of technology back in the 50s – yet here we are, wantonly strolling towards our lonely, germ-free oblivion. We aught to listen to these modern-day Cassandras before its too late!
-- theleopard, Aug 04 2009

hmm, wonder why I never signed up for Facebook...
-- FlyingToaster, Aug 04 2009

It appears that a number of Lolcats are trying to access each other on teh Interwebz by walkin' 'cross ur keybords.

p.s. That [FT] said.
-- gnomethang, Aug 04 2009

Zen wisdom - "A place with everyone in it, is bound to be full of sh*t"
-- Brahma, Aug 04 2009

The infinite monkey theorem states that monkeys hitting keys at random on a keyboard for an infinite amount of time will eventually type the complete works of William Shakespeare.

The internet disproves this thorem.
-- Rokie, Aug 04 2009

[theleopard] It's a good book to recall when people talk about the social isolation that Facebook might be a symptom of. It's also a good book to read for the hero is faced with a different set of crippling phobias as he seeks to resolve the seemingly impossible murder.
-- Aristotle, Aug 05 2009

[Ian Tindale] Great idea. Perhaps the updates could also be read and then deleted automatically by the recipients' computer, so humans do not have to be involved with the process at all from start to finish?
-- pocmloc, Aug 05 2009

Since status updates urge you to refer to yourelf in the third person, why not simply hire a PA to provide a running commentary on your life.
-- marklar, Aug 05 2009

random, halfbakery