Fashion: Protection: Touch
Stinging Pants   (+11, -4)  [vote for, against]
Pants that sting

When one goes clubbing on a Friday night, one runs the risk of having one's bottom grabbed. Although many people like that sort of attention, I am sure that there are equal amounts that’d rather keep themselves to themselves.

For the more reserved clubber, I propose the invention of trousers whose posterior area has tiny, nettle-like barbs weaved into its outer fabric. If a Gentleman finds himself stung, the antidote can be found on the pants of a more open woman, whose outer fabrics are spliced with soothing dock leaves.
-- spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

Same idea, different application http://www.halfbake...0Porcupine_20jacket
A [pluterday] classic. Note [k_sra]'s anno regarding the Bombay Metro. [Worldgineer, Oct 26 2004]

Boobie traps are usually not legal. I don't know about this one, though. Would the plaintiff have a case if he claimed injury and were to sue the wearer of such an article of clothing? The plaintiff might charge that, in the tight confines of a crowded club, he had inadvertently brushed against the stinging clothing.

Could be a case of stingus backfirus.
-- bristolz, Oct 26 2004

Ha, wicked! I like this one. Not only is this useful for fending off men who grope women, but for those who also take the liberty of freaking women on the dancefloor--uninvited, I might add.
-- Machiavelli, Oct 26 2004

[bristolz] Any information regarding the legality of butt traps?
-- spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

? What are those?
-- bristolz, Oct 26 2004

*snort* She doesn't know what butt traps are.
-- Machiavelli, Oct 26 2004

One way to avoid the "inadvertent" claim would be to have the nettle barbs mounted on the outside on a large tube sock. A bar of soap is placed within the sock and held in place with a knot. The sock is then swung firmly into the grabbing person.
-- bungston, Oct 26 2004

// *snort* She doesn't know what butt traps are. //

Neither do I. Got something stuck in your nose?
-- waugsqueke, Oct 26 2004

Never, never put these on inside out unless you should find yourself in a situation where rapid pant-removal is required.
-- vigilante, Oct 27 2004

Perhaps. Boobie means nothing, really, as it's not in the dictionary.
-- bristolz, Oct 27 2004

I have a friend, a male friend at that, who would appreciate this item not only for clubbing but around the house too. Poor guy, everyone loves his ass so much.
-- harderthanjesus, Oct 27 2004

It does not show up on except as the plural.
-- bristolz, Oct 27 2004

Let's change the subject and talk about Mencken's "booboisie" traps.
-- jurist, Oct 27 2004

sp. dock leaves
I like this idea although I would make the observation that, in these degenerate times, the "gentlemen" aren't the only ones grabbing - I've often been pinched by drunken harlots whilst out and about. Invariably, their appearance is as ugly as their nature and causes me great distress. Make clubbing boxers as well, so that letches of both genders can be repelled. [+]
-- DocBrown, Oct 27 2004

What's the masculine for "harlot?" Perhaps it's a genderless word?
-- bristolz, Oct 27 2004

[bristolz] has "harlot" as "woman prostitute". I ran into similar difficulties from the opposite direction with "lecher" which is defined as "man given to lechery" so had to invent "letches" to cover it. T'would seem the dictionary has some out-of-date ideas about who gets up to what these days. Maybe "harlout" for the masculine?
-- DocBrown, Oct 27 2004

...or "harlock?"
-- bristolz, Oct 27 2004

how about "midnight cowboy", "hustler", (and "mimbo"a la Jerry Seinfeld)

and my personal favorite when I fantasize in Italian, "Gigolo" [edited ]

ps.[+] for the idea
-- dentworth, Oct 27 2004

Cheers :P
-- spiritualized, Oct 27 2004

How about stinking pants. That would work just as well I think...
-- k_sra, Oct 27 2004

The great thing about the English language is that it's OK to make up new words, in fact, it's encouraged (by who I'm not sure, but it is). I propose harlout enter common parlance.

Gigolo, n'est pas [dentworth]?
-- harderthanjesus, Oct 27 2004

No, just your bum.
-- harderthanjesus, Oct 28 2004

You need 'ego-boosting money-pants': with coins and notes printed onto the seat you'll be forever getting your bum pinched.
-- wagster, Oct 28 2004

Just embed pinch/fondle dectectors into the appropriate areas of your pants that trigger a recording that shouts "Oy Pervert! Get your filthy pwas off my backside!" or similar. Suitable embarrassment for them but no risk of lawsuits due to poisioning.
-- oneoffdave, Oct 28 2004

random, halfbakery