Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Urban Porcupine jacket

pointedly maintaining your personal space
  (+11)(+11)
(+11)
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In urban environments, personal space sometimes disappears altogether, with urbanites actually pressing up against each other.

One solution is the Urban Porcupine fiber-fill jacket. The shell layer is a mesh or fairly open weave or knit. The inner layer has sharpened quills fastened to it with the sharp ends directed outward. Normally, the quill tips reside below the outer layer, within the fill layer, and cannot be seen. If an urbanite presses against or attempts to grab the jacket wearer, the fill layer is compressed, and the quill tips penetrate the outer layer, as well as the skin of the urbanite.

As the urbanite recoils in pain, the fiber fill instantly recovers and the quill tips disappear beneath the surface. The offending urbanite is then left to ponder the mysterious stigmatic grid of red puncture wounds on his hands.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Having been hugely successful with the Urban Porcupine Jacket, Back-Off Fashions now offers the Back-Off Bouffant. This is a thin helmet bristling with barbed quills. The tips of the quills invisibly reside below the surface of a “big hair” wig. If attacked, the wearer of the Bouffant is taught to head-butt the attacker. After this head butting, the stunned attacker staggers away with the wig covered helmet stuck fast to his abdomen, desperately trying to remove what he now believes must be a wild, hairy animal, eating into him...
pluterday, Mar 23 2003

Bumper spike http://www.halfbake...dea/Bumper_20Spikes
Similar thing for cars. [pottedstu, Oct 05 2004]

Big Hair, just add spikes... http://www.wtv-zone...autyandthebouffant/
The Back-Off Bouffant look. [pluterday, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Personal space enforcement whiskers http://www.halfbake...orcement_20Whiskers
Similar, but less good [stupop, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

(?) Baked http://www.technolo...ion/massave0403.asp
scroll down for The defensible dress [dbsousa, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

MIT, J. Meejin Joon: Self Defense Dress http://www.bookofjo...elfdefense_dre.html
[jutta, May 28 2005]

[link]






       Neat idea! Nice way to imitate nature.   

       Although, I have met a few human equivalents of skunks in my time -- people who will release an unbearable stench when crowded in (especially at elevators!).   

       You could go further with filling these quills with musk oil or something, so that the space-perpetrator will have to answer some awkward questions from his/her significant other. BWAHAHAHAHA!   

       its a "+".
joker_of_the_deck, Mar 23 2003
  

       I could see this material in padded bras for gals wanting to keep their distance.
FarmerJohn, Mar 23 2003
  

       What happens if you fall over or accidentally walk into someone? What if you lean against something? How will you manage on packed trains? What if you meet someone you know and want to hug them?   

       Is everyone here so antisocial they're willing to rip the rest of the human race to shreds to avoid the risk of human contact? Why not invest in an all-over cement body suit?
pottedstu, Mar 24 2003
  

       Excellent. Maybe I should repost my razor wire clothing idea of old?
DrCurry, Mar 24 2003
  

       "Pluterday! Mon ami!" <hugs> "Aaagh!"
hippo, Mar 24 2003
  

       I'd like one *without* the outer layer. As with skunks and 'false' poisonous snakes and spiders, advertising your weapon is usually enough to clear the area in nature.
Cedar Park, Mar 24 2003
  

       Hm... I'd settle on just some gloves made of the stuff, but instead of contact you flare your hand and fingers out, stretching the material and sending the spikes flared out. Tip the spikes with lemon, vinegar and chilli and you're wielding a nasty, nasty weapon...
Freelancer, Mar 25 2003
  

       Not quite - you'd have the spikes down the palm of your hand, facing towards your arms so you could use a raking motion. Keep away attackers and if they scratch - BURNS! It burns! Arrrgh...   

       etc.
Freelancer, Mar 25 2003
  

       This reminds me of an idea I was going to post - was trying to think of a personal defense suit, with features like:   

       * Oil slick
* Pepper spray (I mean pepper, pepper. Not peppers. The black stuff you put on food. Ever had it in your eyes?)
* Extendable claws tipped with lemon juice, vinegar and chilli
  

       etc etc.
Freelancer, Mar 25 2003
  

       Poison-tipped?
Parvenu, Mar 25 2003
  

       Could you use a bulletin board instead of a coat hook?
Worldgineer, Mar 25 2003
  

       Even when your enemies have succumbed, they'd still be all over you.
FarmerJohn, Mar 25 2003
  

       (envisions FJ walking slowly, dragging a half dozen attackers wailing in pain)
Worldgineer, Mar 25 2003
  

       coooooool.....
Eugene, Apr 12 2003
  

       Funny. Really useful in certain circumstances, though not recommended to always wear in public. Moreover, its dangerous for the owner in sense it could injure one's hand. But anyway it's a "+".
Inyuki, Apr 13 2003
  

       So we sell to "bad guys" the Urban Assault Jacket (the same thing, but in black), and voila, the market just doubled.
pluterday, Apr 13 2003
  

       [Steve DeGroof] Yes, eventually this vest business will spiral into an arms race. As personal space becomes zealously defended, everyone will want long quills, then even longer quills. Great cities like New York will occasionally become paralyzed when masses of quill vested urbanites accidentally stick together at intersections, at rush hour, creating what newscasters will dub “quill-lock”.
pluterday, Apr 14 2003
  

       Human burs... almost like velcro. How would you remove the spikey gloves?
-lines-, Apr 14 2003
  

       “Mr. President! We cannot allow a porcupine jacket gap!” <overcome with emotion Dr. Pluterday lurches from her wheelchair, standing unsteadily, looking down at her feet with astonshment> "Mien Fuhrer, I CAN WALK…!"
pluterday, Apr 14 2003
  

       I need one for the Bombay Metro. "No pinching, please." +
k_sra, Oct 03 2003
  

       No pinching?
bristolz, Oct 03 2003
  

       I really prefer no pinching. But I happily trade punches for pinches.
k_sra, Oct 03 2003
  

       Is there a pinching problem there?
bristolz, Oct 03 2003
  

       Quite. And beautiful blondes like you would turn quite black and blue. Wear the jacket.
k_sra, Oct 06 2003
  
      
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