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chopsey

[This account was destroyed in a disk crash in October 2004 and has been partially restored from a cached copy. If it is yours, please send e-mail to <bakesperson@halfbakery.com> to reclaim it. ]

Semi-intelligent pets

This is a bit of an extension of the Slave Monkey post…

Animal breeders throughout the ages have managed to deform all sorts of animals through artificial selection; farm animals, dogs, cats and pigeons. Why has no one applied this to intelligence? Okay, so people have done it a little with dogs, but why stop at understanding whistles. With genetic engineering, we can now inject a little hi-tech and speed the process a long.

A know some will question why, so let me tell you

The capitalist in me sees a massive commercial opportunity… no not slave monkeys flying my 747, or smiling dolphins attaching limp mines to my cruise liner for the laugh. The opportunity, I believe, is domestic pets…

Okay, so I don’t want a 500 pound gorilla with an IQ greater that two hundred hogging the TV remote and pontificating over the meaning of life before becoming angry at the pointlessness of it all and pulling my limbs apart.

I’m just think of a slightly more intelligent monkey with the vocabulary of a five year old, with paws to small to hold a gun or operate heavy machinery. Perhaps intelligent enough to make its own dinner, be courteous, and cleans its own mess. And if it cleaned the house a little and had dinner ready, well that would be cool as well (but I don’t want to plagiarize anything from the Slave Monkey post)

Billions of dollars are spent on cats and dogs globally. Surely a morally bankrupt genetic scientist can be found to make such an entertaining pet and companion. I for one would rather spend $5000 on this clever little cheeky chap than a robotic Sony dog that can chase balls.

If you are a morally bankrupt generic engineer can I suggest you leave your details and we can put forth our ideas to some venture capitalists, I’m sure we can make a dent in all those cats & dogs.

- Chopsey

[Sep 03 2004]

   
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