h a l f b a k e r y
The embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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Balloon Baby is tiny when it's unwrapped.
About the size of a thumb, it has a
disproportionately large head with
scrunched features, and folded up
arms and legs, just like an early stage
foetus in fact. Protruding from its
midsection is a short section of tubing
sealed with a spring clip.
The
instructions tell you to release the
clip
and blow one short breath of air through
the tube every day. Over a period of
weeks
Balloon Baby begins to swell and change.
As different sections of the balloon are
made from latex of a variety of
thicknesses and strengths, the changes
are able to mirror the changes in a real
unborn baby as it grows.
After the 9 months gestation period,
Balloon Baby is completely inflated. To
celebrate this joyous day, the internal
pressure which has accumulated,
releases
a crying valve, and Balloon Baby loudly
announces its arrival for a few seconds.
You can then either keep it as a novelty
balloon, or release the valve and allow it
to
shoot around the room as it madly
deflates and returns to it its diminutive
pre-inflated state.
foetusballoonmaiden
http://homepage.mac...usballoonmaiden.htm
By Dominic Kulcsar [jutta, Dec 21 2006]
Annotation:
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Slightly sideways: a condom that when inflated resembled a baby would have a certain irony about it. |
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how in the hell do you think this shit up? |
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I just imagine you reading it and it
comes easily. |
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// or release the valve and allow it to shoot around the room as it madly deflates and returns to it its diminutive pre-inflated state.
// |
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Ooh, I like. But for accuracy I think you would need to send along a booklet that would tell you how many breaths of air per day you would need to do. Babies in the womb grow in size at different rates depending on the stage they are at. |
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Look at me all medical-like and stuff. |
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Don't forget to account for air loss through the latex membrane. I wish you could use helium without too many problems because as it filled it would slowly become the floating baby like from 2010. |
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Could this just be hooked up to a small programmed air compressor? No calculation of breaths or anything. |
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//I just imagine you reading it and it comes easily//
Marked for HB Tag Line |
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This was simply the best come back ever. |
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This is weird and truly half-baked. A big latex bun [in the oven] for you. |
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Could come optionally pre-packaged in a clear plastic chamber filled with a slighty viscous gooey watery gel to simulate the birth chamber which would also inflate and have to be popped with a pin to simulate a water break. |
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The birther would then have to clean their newborn and wrap it in swaddling. |
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Not to be used as a pinata. |
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...educationally bizarre--bizarrely educational--+ |
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Wait so when u let it go prematurely then its... Inflatable abortion! YOU FREAK! lol. I give u a neutral. |
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How do you ever get to sleep at night? |
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