h a l f b a k e r y
Idea vs. Ego
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For grammarians, pedants, aggressive spell-checkers and frustrated English teachers everywhere ...
The Apostrophe Shooter is compact enough to fit in a purse or pocket. Its unbreakable plastic casing will not trigger any metal detector. You can now solve the world's multiple language abuses wherever
you find them -- from billboards to print ads!
Your Shooter comes with three rotating ink cartridges:
WHITE: "Each widget fits in it's own case" ... POW!
BLACK: "Ladies Room" ... BLAP!
and RED: "Go Charger's, your the best!" ... POW! BLAT! BLAM!
... and a silencer, of course. Adjustable tip regulates the size of your corrective apostrophe, from Micro-Fine (magazine, menu, other text copy) to Mega-Splat (billboards, freeway underpass grafitti). Ink cartridge refills are free.
Now get out there and show that Apple sign who's boss!
It would have fun with some of these.
http://wesclark.com/ubn/
(Utah Baby Names.) [angel, Oct 26 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Annotation:
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Speaking as a self-confessed pedant... I want one! |
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Would you like jam/jelly with your croissant? |
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Just make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands... think of the mayhem captain _ could cause with one of these... |
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Maybe there could be a license exam... |
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But anyway, my croissant's all yours. |
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I want one of those! I may not be great at grammar, but I would certainly have fun with it. |
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Lucy Brown would love this. |
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' so'm'e'body ' ' he'lp me' there's a' man'ia'c on' the
lo'os'e!' ' |
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as long as there are "potato's and tomato's" on the menu. |
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Wanna watch it crash? Have it read a manuscript in an English transliteration of Samoan. Names like Laga'aia and Fa'tia'ki should send it off the deep end. |
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This could be the singlemost useful invention in the history of the world. |
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this is a spectacular idea. how soon do you think we could get these to market? |
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As a typographer, I am irritated
daily by people using the foot
mark [this typeface doesn't seem
to differentiate (and therefore
irritates me slightly)] instead of the
apostrophe. I'll take two. |
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+ for the Clint reference. |
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Pedants rejoice, the savior in the form of a little apostrophe-shooting widget has come! Long live the apostrophe...how would you insure that the mark was in the shape of an apostrophe? Still, it's a great idea, which is why I voted for it. |
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I'm gonna give you a fishbone just to be different. |
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[draws pronunciation pistol] BLAM! |
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[lobs in counterbalance bun] + |
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It needs its counterpart, the Apostrophe Anihilator, for correcting errant Greengrocer's Apostrophes and other such misdimeanours. |
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+ Please send one of these to some hb newbies... |
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//correcting errant Greengrocer's Apostrophes//
Dear God, the irony. |
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Hahahahahahahaha. That is just precious! |
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*Desperately tries to salvage some dignity* |
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Which niftily leads on to my other extension suggestion, the Apostrophe Mover, for correcting my above mistake. |
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At least he didn't say "Greengrocers errant." It would have given me the mental image of beaproned balding men wandering the countryside offering parsnips to damsels in distress. |
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