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I carry my Oystercard in the back pocket of my trousers.
As well as mounting the readers on the top of the gates, they should put readers at arse height on the insides of the gates as well.
Then I could sashay up to the gate, and with a wiggle of the hips, I'd be through.
Lovely.
On a similar note...
http://www.dilbert....lbert-20070912.html
[xipetotec, Sep 18 2007]
Oyster Card
http://www.tfl.gov....teronline/2732.aspx
Yep, it's a UK thing. [skinflaps, Sep 19 2007]
Annotation:
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Double sided Ducktape upon your sleeve, perhaps? |
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I did think of that, but I feared losing it down the toilet when I wipe my bottom. |
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<trying to measure my arse height and failing> |
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does my oyster look big in this? OR is this an oyster in your pocket? |
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I have only one bun to give but this is one hip idea. |
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I wouldn't want that - I often nip out at Canary Wharf whilst still technically on my journey home, then hop back on the DLR to continue the journey. This would increase the cost of the journey undesirably. |
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<imagining [jtp] looks like Sigourney Weaver and giving this a bun> |
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[Ian] - but you could still do this while avoiding
arse/reader proximity, surely? Perhaps a floor-mounted reader would be better, which you would tread on if you want your card (which you slipped into your shoe before you went out) to be read. |
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Note of caution to arse-mounted oysterites: My card started going faulty after having kept it in my back-pocket for a few weeks - which is fine, until you're at the front of a long queue of people trying to get on the number 8, desperately failing to get the machine to go beep. |
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*Imagines* a queue of people reversing onto a bus. |
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Imagining [zeno] fantasizing about me whilst dressed in his Alien outfit <shudder> |
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What's inside that oystercard? Is there a
type of pearl surrounded by some sort of
chemical goo? - because if there is I want
one. |
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bun, in the hip pocket. (sorry, [Ian], you'll have to carry it old school style.) + |
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Thanks for the link, skinflaps. I wondered what the hell an Oystercard was... never seen one before. |
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I would think the Oystercard would be carried in the gentleman's front pocket. Ideally, front pockets. |
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I suppose you could always get a chip implanted into your hand... even safer and more convenient. |
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Why go to all the expense of having a chip? A simple tattoo-barcode could be etched onto the hand, or forehead, and read by scanning lasers, like in the supermarket. |
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Carefully folding up alien outfit. |
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I always thought a brilliant meathod of keeping unauthorized persons from getting through security doors would be to have a keypad and palmprint scanner that look to observers like they are the only means of opening the door, but have a chip implanted in your foot and a hidden RFID scanner under the ground where you stand. That way even if someone gets the password and manages to MacGuyver a duplicate of your palm print (I saw an episode once where he did just that, simply by sprinkling drywall dust over the sweat remnants from the last guy who used it and pressing down with a cloth over the whole thing... don't know if it would really work or not), they'll still be scratching their heads in wonder as they try to figure out why the hell the door won't open. |
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oh Macguyver, is there anything you cant do? |
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// don't know if it would really work or not // it obviously doesn't work or they'd be doing it on CSI. |
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Since when does something not working stop them from using it on CSI? Can you imagine the pasting they would get if they posted one of their scripts here? |
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That's ok officer! My Time Scanning Evidence-o-matic can pull evidence from how the scene was even before we showed up! |
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What does this switch do? |
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Oh, that switches it into a mode where it can pull plot twists out of my ass. |
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I didn't like this at first but I needed it the other day coming through the turnstyles whilst carrying my coat, bag, rolling a cigarette, applying some eyeli... uh... <cough> applying some "aisle-choosing physics" and getting my oyster out. Bun. [+] |
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Don't ask, don't tell, I always say. |
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cough's nasty, leopard. give up the roll ups. |
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