h a l f b a k e r y
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
Like most people, you were born with a limited number of knocks. Why waste so many of them on your co-worker's office door? With the Battering Ram Door-Knock Assister you can halve the number of knocks expended when engaging in the conventional entryway arrival announcing ritual. This device is a
miniature swinging battering ram that is worn dangling from your wrist. When you hold your forearm parallel to the floor and bang in a striking motion, each strike is followed up by the swinging ram which adds a second knock. The striking face of the ram can be rubberized so as to protect the door surface, metal-plated so as to leave a mark, or with your seal carved into the metal plate so that it leaves a personalized mark.
Note: The Battering Ram Door-Knock Assister is designed to be used -only- with the side-of-the-fist banging method of knock, with forearm parallel to the floor as described above. It MAY NOT be used with the wimpy back-of-the-hand knuckle tap reputed to be common among the French (knocks such as these are why the French have the reputation they do).
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
||I benefit from a lifetime's supply of unlimited knocks (my
parents enrolled me in a program when I was an infant),
but I applaud your efforts on the part of those not so
||I'm told that if you go to the right school, you learn how to knock properly.
||Didn't they name a fort after that school?
||Yeah, and a gelatin manufacturer.
||// Didn't they name a fort after that school? //
||Yes, Fort Bragg. We knockers are a proud lot, and we don't
care who knows it.
||Wimps have their battering ram door knock assister hanging from their forearm. Real Men (TM) have their battering ram door knock assister mounted on an 18 wheel trailer.
||Aussies don't knock. We just let ourselves in and go to the
beer fridge and wait for someone to show up while the rest
of you lot are outside debating
over proper knocking etiquette and techniques
Before firing up your battering rams and arm-mounted
doorknockers just try the
handle Mate. It's usually open.