Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
You want a piece of this?

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, best, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: Browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

User:
Pass:

or Create a new account.


                                      Please log in.
If you're not logged in, you can see what this page looks like, but you will not be able to add anything.

Birth Wash
re-experience the wonders of birth, and clean your car
  (+9, -6)
(+9, -6) 		  [vote for,
against]


A fee is paid, and you drive your dirty car up onto the conveyor belt. You are transported slowly through a tunnel that resembles the lining of the womb and each trimester is condensed into a 5 minute wax and polish. Soapy amber coloured amneotic fluid covers your windscreen, as huge rubbery ovaries spin and remove any dirt. At the final stage, the vehicle is pushed out through a huge vertical aperture, and the service station attendant comes out dressed as a doctor, complete with surgical mask to cut the umbilical cord that is attached to your rear bumper.
benfrost, Feb 12 2005


Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee

Destination URL. E.g., http://www.coffee.com/

Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)







       did he have to give it such a hearty slap?
po, Feb 12 2005
   

       This puts a new twist on the romantic potential of car washes. Hmmm?
jscottpete, Feb 12 2005
   

       ...just taking the Vulva in for a cervix....
Basepair, Feb 12 2005
   

       Will this trip squash my front end into a pointy shape?
lintkeeper2, Feb 12 2005
   

       Heehee, [Basepair]   

       If a car jumps the track - C-section.
robinism, Feb 12 2005
   

       I'd sell seats in the outside grass for $2.00 if there were sound effects loud enough to be heard in the car.
reensure, Feb 12 2005
   

       what about that cheesy white stuff?
bungston, Feb 12 2005
   

       It's called vernix.
UnaBubba, Feb 13 2005
   

       doubles as bonnet wax
benfrost, Feb 13 2005
   

       Does the car wash have to be shaved - or does that not happen anymore?
DenholmRicshaw, Feb 13 2005
   

       I wonder where my midwife, home delivery aunt would take her car for washing. She delivers babies in jacuzzis.
normzone, Feb 13 2005
   

       No, [DR], it doesn't happen anymore, except for the area where the C-section incision is made.
UnaBubba, Feb 13 2005
   

       My friend Sigmund would like to have a discussion with you about your childhood.
disbomber, Apr 06 2005
   

       BARF!
natewill, Apr 06 2005
   

       Talk about controversy! And eww this is weird/gross.
EvilPickels, Apr 07 2005
   

       That's just sick!   

       (i love it +)
justibone, Apr 07 2005
   

       Wow... that's really far out, man. I mean, we should keep going with all of this, all exits should be fashioned after the vagina and its role in childbirth. All entrys, well, I can just think about it, and so can you.
daseva, Apr 07 2005
   


 
back: main index
 business 
 computer 
 culture 
 fashion 
 food 
 halfbakery 
 home 
 other 
 product 
 public 
 science 
 sport 
 vehicle