h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.
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Won't they be, like, hip to your jive? |
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Not a lot different from Arnold's diner in "Happy Days" or the Peach Pit in "Beverly Hills 90210", if you drop the pretense of bouncers and bartenders. Teen-oriented dance clubs and coffee houses used to be quite popular in most major cities until the litigation associated with neighborhood disturbances, assaults, and drug busts made the cost of doing business too steep. |
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This is known, round these parts, as "The Unders" - when clubs throw open their doors late on Saturday afternoons and let in the snaking line of sqeaking goths or burberried-up future parolees (depending on the club), only to vomit them back out at about ten, to make way for the grown ups. |
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I thought that this was referring to amusement arcades or slightly <ahem> chancy pool halls. |
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Not unlike a youth club, then? |
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Will there be non-alcoholic beer and candy cigarettes? |
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I had prepared a bun to reward the idea of a kosh designed specifically for clubbing teenagers, instead I find this liberalist nonsense about being nice to the filthy soapdodgers. |
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I think we should encourage them to play golf, take up card-games that involve playing using a single suit, or move to the Northern Atlantic reaches of Canada. |
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[Voice] were you gulible enough to fall for something like this as a teenager? I certainly wasn't, and my kids certainly weren't. |
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//we should encourage them to play golf// |
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Quite a few of the darling lemmings did where I lived in Scotland, but that might have something to do with how there were a few golf courses in the locality. |
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//this liberalist nonsense about being nice to the filthy soapdodgers// |
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I share the same charitable veiws towards the little bastards. |
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Tis a kindly notion, but.....please replace
the word club with cudgel, which is
a lovely word. Teenagers should be made
to serve time cleaning the insides of gym
shoes with their tongues and hair....rant
rant rant. Lucily I'm all grown up now and
a fully adjusted member of society. |
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If I were a teen, I'd go. I'd be high as a kite, but I'd go. |
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I think the real problem with teen clubs is lack of alcohol and consequent lack of revenue stream. |
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This club would be paid for by the parents but well-disguised as a place they shouldnt be going to. |
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"So Cindy, how are we going to get home from here?" |
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"Don't worry Jen. you know that creepy guy that hangs out in the back with the car and the candy? Well I hear he's a counsellor in disguise too." |
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I'm sure there are a lot of bugs to work out with this system. A "bartender" that doesn't serve alcohol is a pretty obvious tipoff, and unless there's a makeout room somewhere on the premise I'm not sure what the draw would be. |
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Perhaps you could get some local psychologists to come and act like a biker gang playing pool or darts for free beers or something. |
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I'm thinking that perhaps using bouncers from time to time is not the best solution. More effective would be a scheme whereby a carefully selected child's father slinks in looking nervous, flrts with the waitress (also a trained counsellor) for a few seconds, then notices his child, and hauls him/her out by the ears, and after much barganing manages to keep the whole incident as a mutual secret from mom. |
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