h a l f b a k e r y
Veni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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Cuss-B-gone consists of a small but high speed computer worn discretely on the body and hooked up by wires to a small patch worn on the throat, ala TENS. With a basic AI type program, and biofeedback from the patch, the computer learns which throat muscles are used to utter cuss words and nullify them
with electrical stimuli.
Stimuli may consist of temporary paralyzing those muscles so a discouraging word may not be uttered, or a near instantaneous electrical charge activating alternate throat muscles to activate colorful phrases such as "I love green finches!", or, "Who's eaten the last of the chocolate pudding? Fie."
"Did you <fun> my wife?"
http://www.youtube....watch?v=WF0RJ3ShE24
Classic Harry Enfield. [boysparks, Dec 20 2006]
Annotation:
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what if you have turrets? personally I prefer the classic swear jar |
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"The sky is bluer than Lake Baikal!" |
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"Are you going to eat all off that?" |
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"Aargh, I've got a speech impertanence." |
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No thank you. I swear by choice and I can turn it off when I am standing next to my mother or a nun. |
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Can it do mental curses too? (+) |
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Everything in quotation marks is lost on me. Anyone care to help a dullard out? |
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Texticle, if you are asking about the quoted text in my annotation, it was my invention doing it's work substituting random statements for curses at being fishboned. It is mock indignation only meant to hopefully cause a chuckle. I hope noone takes it otherwise |
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[shinobi] if you have turrets, I suggest you invest in some longbowmen and big tubs of boiling oil forthwith. If on the other hand you have Tourette's Syndrome, I'm afraid I can't help you. |
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Is *that* what you meant, shinobi? I thought you meant turrets (like gun turrets on a warship) and I was seriously confused. |
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If this could ever work - the phrase substitution part - it would sound an awful lot like when UK broadcaster ITV used to dub swear words in films with 'non-offensive' alternatives. |
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Comedian Harry Enfield parodied it with a scene from Goodfellas - see link. |
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Fie, [jutta], I think there is a real problem if someone has a habit which they themselves would like to break. However, if that is the problem, it does beg the question of whether replacing rudeness with incoherence is the solution. So, no vote from me. |
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Self diagnosis can fail, for example by the paranoid or suicidal. Or, alas, the tragically uptight.
And I know uptight. |
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